If the US imposes tariffs, then Canada’s going to take away something we want, too! At least that’s what Stephen Colbert imagined in a hilarious ‘Late Show’ clip — watch here.
Donald Trump may want to rethink the controversial tariffs on steel and aluminum he just signed into law, because our allies are already starting to threaten to retaliate. While the EU has said they’ll put import tariffs on peanut butter and whiskey (oh god, NO), Stephen Colbert warned the president that Canada could go even further. In a hilarious cold open on the March 8 episode of The Late Show, Stephen introduced us to a mountie who had a few threats from Canada to share. You’re not going to like what the country’s going to take away from us…
“Hey there America, I hear you’re trying to mess with our steel and aluminum. You mess with the beaver, you get the tail. We are done being nice. We are truly sorry about that. So, hear me now: you put a tariff on our steel or aluminum, temporary or otherwise, we’ll cut off your supply of smokin’ hot Ryans,” the mountie said, showing pics of Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds flexing their perfect abs.
“See, we can play hard puck, too. Without our imported Ryan man-meat, your romantic comedies will be forced to star Kevin James. I know that’s harsh, but hey — you brought it on yourself. Let’s take a look in your future unless Trump reverses course.” He then showed the romantic lake scene from The Notebook with Kevin superimposed over Noah.
Okay, we’re convinced. If Trump doesn’t do anything about the tariffs, we’ll take the matter into our own hands! The Ryans of Canada are our most precious import by far. Without Ryan Reynolds, how would we get to see the Deadpool movies and swoon over his relationship with Blake Lively. It just wouldn’t be fair. If the NSA is reading this (hey!), please let Trump know!