Exclusive Interview
Here’s How & Where To Find A Good Guy To Date In A City Of Millions — Expert Advice
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and it can seem impossible to find a good guy on all those dating apps. Here is some expert advice to find a boyfriend ASAP!
Judith Joshel, author of Where Are the Good Guys?” which will be released on Jan. 17 , explains why you DON’T need a dating app to find a good guy. Here, she’s offering five EXCLUSIVE tips on how to get a great boyfriend in 2018.
“Tip #1: Follow your passions when you’re looking for Mr. Right. Do you love to dance? Are you passionate about helping animals? Does a hike on the cliffs above the ocean feel like heaven to you? When you participate in activities you love, two things happen. First, you feel amazing and when you feel amazing, people will be drawn to you, including guys you might want to date. And second, if a guy is also participating in this activity, it means he probably enjoys it as much as you do and you have something in common that’s important to both of you. Morgan, a woman I tell you about in my book, Where Are the Good Guys?, met her amazing husband while ballroom dancing. He was her instructor. So do what you love and keep your eyes open for guys who have the same passion.”
“Tip #2: If you really want to meet your Mr. Right, be in your Man Magnet mindset. Remind yourself that you could meet him anytime and anywhere. When you’re out in public, be sure you look good. You don’t need to be dressed to the nines at all times. Just wear clothes in colors and styles that are flattering to you and be wearing a little makeup. It’s fine to be in yoga pants and a cute top if that flatters your figure and your complexion. Your Man Magnet mindset includes a warm friendly attitude to the people around you and a willingness to smile at a cute guy and say hi. For example, if he’s standing behind you at Starbucks, you might ask him if he’s ever tried the double mocha latte. He may pick up the ball and respond or he may not. If he doesn’t, don’t take it as a personal rejection — as a sign that you’re not pretty enough or something’s wrong with you. He may be married or just preoccupied with problems at work. You have no idea. Just remind yourself that he just missed meeting your awesome self and it’s his loss, not yours!”
“Tip #3: Where are the guy-rich environments? Figure out where guys like to hang out and go there yourself. For example, many men love cars. So be alert for car shows and attend one by yourself. Whether or not you’re really into cars, enjoy the experience and be curious about the cars. Smile and ask a cute guy what he thinks of that new model sports car. Most guys also love sports — both participating in them and watching them. Lots of guys are serious about bike riding. If you like bike riding or want to learn, check out bike riding groups on Meetup. Try riding with several groups to see which you like best and have the most men. Build up your stamina so that you can go on more difficult rides. The more difficult the ride, the more men it tends to attract. Put on your thinking cap about other sports in which you’d like to participate which attract lots of men. A few examples are golf, skiing, sailing, and running. If you like the sport or want to learn it, take some lessons and start participating regularly. You will likely be meeting lots of men who love the sport you choose. Valerie, who made a video for my book, met her beloved at a bikefest.”
“Tip #4: Be open to dating many types of guys and getting to know them slowly without sleeping with them right away. Women often choose their boyfriend based solely or largely on amazing chemistry. Amazing chemistry is incredibly mesmerizing and intense, and it’s great for hookups. But if you’re looking for a committed relationship with Mr. Right, chemistry shouldn’t be the main reason you focus on a guy. Yes, of course, you have to have chemistry with your Mr. Right, but it doesn’t have to be over-the-top chemistry — you may not believe this, but chemistry can actually develop over time as you get to know an awesome guy. This happens much more often than you might think. The fact that you feel amazing chemistry with a guy doesn’t mean that he will be honest and loyal or that he will treat you like a queen or that he even wants a committed relationship. It just means that he’s really hot and you’re attracted to each other, no more and no less. It’s exciting and wonderful, but it doesn’t predict a happy long term relationship or marriage. In fact, relationships with mind-blowing chemistry often burn out quickly or the guy withdraws or suddenly disappears.”
“Tip #5: Lighten up and have fun on your journey to Mr. Right! Many women see their search for Mr. Right as a deadly serious game. They may be super critical of most of the men they meet and super sensitive to rejection themselves. They worry that they will never meet the right guy and this worrying shuts down their positive, optimistic energy. Healthy guys feel this worrying, negative energy and don’t find it attractive. Finding your Mr. Right is an important part of your life, so it’s important that you have a creative strategy unique to you to help you find him. Just keep in mind that your Mr. Right would love to meet you and he may not know how to find you. So take the time to create some strategies to help you meet the kinds of guys you’d love to date.”
HollywoodLifers, are you looking for Mr. Right in 2018?
