Anal Sex: Everything To Know Before Knocking On The Backdoor

Yes, we’re going there. Ladies, you know you’ve thought about it, but have you been too afraid to try anal sex? — What do men like? Will it hurt? Do I prep? Dare I say, will there be… poop? Nothing’s off limits. And, a professional sex expert is here to answer all of your questions!

Hey. I know it took you a minute to muster up the courage to click on this one, didn’t it? Anal sex is a touchy subject… pun intended; and, a bit awkward. But hey, imagine talking to your boss about this one. However, it’s something we need to get into, if that’s the idea you’ve been tussling with. Anal sex can be a scary thing. Not to mention, you’ve probably heard your fair share of horror stories and booty bumping nights gone wrong. Believe it or not, butt sex isn’t all that easy at first, and a lot goes into it. See what I did there? Ha! This subject just screams witty jokes.

Now, before I unlock the secrets to the sex fantasy you’ve been pondering over, let me be clear — None of this is from my own personal knowledge or experience. All of the info you’re about to feast your eyes on and linger onto every word, is from HL‘s wonderful experts — Sean Jameson from the ever popular Bad Girls Bible and New York City Sex Therapist, Stephen Snyder, MD. Now, let’s dive into the real fun, shall we?

Let’s start slow, because you know, anal sex isn’t something you want to begin at lightening speed. Yes, ladies, there’s pain. But, beauty is pain. Let’s lay down the ground rules for beginners: You can’t act your way through this one like you may have in the past, because you’re certainly not going to get an Oscar for this one. Jameson’s key advice to kick things off? — “The person receiving needs to actually want it and be excited for it,” he says. “If you are being coerced into anal sex by your partner and aren’t actually that keen for it, then you’re going to have a bad time. Think of this as the golden rule.” And, if your partner is coercing you into the backdoor act, Snyder’s advice is to simply say no. Ladies, you’ve got to be all in for this to work.

Is there a way to prepare physically and mentally? — YES! And, there’s certain foods to avoid before tip off.

“Preparation is key,” Jameson explains. “The last thing you want is for it to get messy! So, making sure to avoid any foods with laxative effects is vital the day beforehand and the day of. Next, is making sure you’re clean when you’re partner enters you. Using a douche is the easiest way to do this. Although, if you want to really make sure you’re thoroughly cleaned out, then you may want to go for an enema [which is a procedure, done by a doctor, to expel contents from the rectum]. You can also take a medication like Loperamide [only if prescribed by a proper medical professional] that slows down your bowel movements after cleaning yourself that will make it much less likely that you’ll poop during anal sex. Make sure your partner understands how potentially painful anal sex can be if he’s rough and not careful. Have lots of lube on hand!” Also, Snyder suggests picking up Jack Morin‘s book, Anal Pleasure and Health, which recommends getting to know your anus before letting someone else in; often experiencing with a finger first.

Should you experiment with anything beforehand? — As Kanye West once said, “Uh, huh, honey!”

“I advise that you experiment on yourself first,” Jameson advises. Here’s a step by step on how to do just that: “The best way to do this is with a dildo with a flared base, so that it doesn’t get stuck inside you, and is similar in size to your partner’s penis. Wrap it in a condom so that you don’t risk getting any fecal matter on it. Then, using generous amounts of lube, slowly slide it inside yourself.”

“Any time you feel discomfort, stop sliding further and hold it in place. Don’t remove it unless it’s super uncomfortable. This will give the sphincter muscle time to relax around it. It can take quite a while to achieve this. But, once your sphincter muscle has relaxed, anal sex becomes a lot easier.”

Are there communication tips for this type of sex step?

“Communication is vital and you need to be in control as the receiver. So, your partner needs to listen to you during anal and follow your directions, not the other way around.”

Now for the cold, hard truth — Is it as painful as everyone says?

“It can be, and this is due to your sphincter muscle. It’s default state is to be closed very tightly and to relax very slowly. So, if your man enters you too quickly, then this muscle will not be able to relax fast enough, causing pain. However, if you’re man takes it slowly and listens to you for feedback, then he it won’t be painful.”

Just say it ladies… poop. Will there be poop? Just tell me right now.

“It’s highly unlikely if you’ve followed my preparation tips above, but there is a very small outside chance. Here’s the bottom line: If you’re with a guy that can’t respect the fact that sometimes sex isn’t ‘perfect,’ that sometimes guys fart during sex, girls queef and people can get painful cramps midway through, then you’re going to have a pretty lousy time, always. Hopefully your man respects you enough and understands this.”

From a man’s perspective, what do men think or like when it comes to anal sex?

“Like with all sexual activities, some men love it, some are indifferent and some don’t like it at all. It all depends on your guy.”

Let’s debunk some anal sex myths!

1. “Some people [mostly men] are obsessed with the idea of anal sex as it’s something they want to cross off their ‘to-do list,'” Jameson says. “Sex shouldn’t be goal orientated, it sucks the fun out of it.”

2. “People are worried that not trying it makes them a prude. That’s garbage. If you aren’t interested in trying it, then you aren’t interested, it’s as simple as that.”

3. “Some think it’s dirty. It certainly can be… just try eating a spicy current and drinking a gallon of coffee beforehand [aka, don’t do that]. If you prepare properly then it won’t be.”

4. “The lining of the rectum is relatively fragile, and vulnerable to being torn,” Snyder reveals. “This makes unprotected anal sex the #1 risk factor for many sexually transmitted disease. So, definitely save anal sex for someone you know well and trust.”

HollywoodLifers, let’s chat. If you care to share, let us know your thoughts in the comments below.