Is achieving an orgasm a problem for you or someone you know? HollywoodLife.com spoke to two of our favorite sex experts to provide you with some VERY helpful tips on how to help you have the big O!
First and foremost ladies, don’t be embarrassed. Not being able to have an orgasm is much more common than you think, but the problem is that no one ever wants to talk about it. If you’re having trouble orgasming during foreplay, sex or even your quality alone time, HollywoodLife.com spoke to two qualified experts (ahem, sex-perts) to help you out. So, what’s the deal — are you doing something wrong? Do you need to try something new? We’ve got you covered!
1.) Give yourself permission, says Clinical Sexologist Deborah Caust, Ph. D. “Many women have trouble giving themselves permission to let go and have fun. It’s best if she can learn how to achieve orgasm on her own so that she is able to inform her partner how to touch her,” Deborah explained to HollywoodLife.com. “Making herself comfortable, focusing on physical sensations, enjoying erotic thoughts, relaxing her pelvic area (or tensing, if that helps), and allowing her body to gain momentum will help her achieve orgasm.”
2.) Try new positions, says Dr. Kat Van Kirk, another Clinical Sexologist that HollywoodLife.com spoke to. Three positions that Dr. Kat suggests are: woman on top, rear entry, and missionary. For the woman on top, Dr. Kat says: “This position allows her and her partner’s anatomy to line up. Clitoris to the mons pubis. Plus, she is in control of depth and rhythm.” As for rear entry, “This type of penetration is conducive to G-Spot orgasms. The G-Spot is about 2 inches into the vagina on the upper wall. A partner can help to target the spot by taking shorter, faster strokes or using specially designed sex
toys.” And last but not least, missionary: “When your partner holds them self above you while thrusting this can allow her to self stimulate or enjoy hands free stimulation by his vibrating penis ring.”
3.) Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay, says Dr. Deborah — and we couldn’t agree more! “Her entire body needs to be involved to get ready for sex,” Dr. Deborah tells HollywoodLife.com, adding, “Only a third of women can have an orgasm during vaginal penetration alone, most require clitoral stimulation.”
4.) Talk to your partner. “A woman needs to be as specific as possible with her partner,” Dr. Deborah tells HollywoodLife.com, encouraging an open line of communication between partners. “Sometimes removing the expectation of orgasm can help you both avoid anxiety, so that orgasm involves less pressure,” adds Dr. Kat. Last but certainly not least, Dr. Deborah adds that it’s important to keep things real. “Lastly, having a sense of humor and an attitude of exploration and discovery can make a big difference,” she explains.
Tell us, HollywoodLifers — Do YOU think this advice from Dr. Deborah and Dr. Kat will help you achieve an orgasm? Let us know why or why not in the comments below.