Ben Higgins, I buy your sincerity about marriage. I do think you want to find a wife on ‘The Bachelor’. So why do you have such ludicrous discussions with your dates?
Bachelor Ben Higgins, you’re handsome, you’re smart and you seem to be committed to finding a wife on The Bachelor. So why are you wasting your time having the most inane conversations every time you get a moment alone with a girl? When the season debuted, I felt like there was hope that you’d break the Bachelor mold and actually have some true life, in-depth convos with the women you were auditioning as life mates. But no…
Here’s an example- you were impressed by Jubilee, 24, an Iraq war veteran, who had to be a woman of some complexity. You appeared to have discussions about her difficult past — she was born in Haiti, adopted by an American family, is the last living member of her birth family, and she served for over four years in the military. When she was nervous about getting into a helicopter for a date, I had visions of her opening up about her war experiences, to explain why she was freaking out. But no such luck. Like virtually every conversation between you, Ben, and your harem of wannabe wives, Jubilee’s revelations never went further than talking about her feelings about you and the other jealous girls in the house.
She whined about her social anxiety and the other ‘mean’ girls. Why contestants think that complaining , makes them romantically appealing, I don’t know, but this is typical.
Ben, 27, spent last night’s Feb. 8 episode, being bombarded by various complaints by some of the women about others. Leah warned Ben about Lauren B.: “There are situations with Lauren that come across as like she doesn’t care as much as she seems to show you that she cares. You know, she’ll be like: ‘Oh, if Amanda ends up with Ben, then that’s great!’. It’s like, how she comes across doesn’t seem genuine. Just some of the things she does are catty.”
Olivia, who quickly earned the title of “most hated” bachelorette in the house, also chewed your ear off about her skirmishes with the other women. Despite the fact that Olivia boasted that she wants to talk about “smart things” with you, neither she nor any of the other women has actually had an intelligent conversation with you since the beginning of the show. And we had high hopes, Ben, that you would be the Bachelor who would be different, and who would actually have closer-to-real-life discussions with women that you might marry.
Where is the intense personal sharing about your life, and the women’s lives? Their careers, hopes, dreams and families? Where are the talks about life goals? Thoughts on having a family and how to combine two careers? How can you or any of the women hope to develop feelings for each other if you aren’t ever having meaningful discussions about your passions, aside from being on The Bachelor? Instead, every one-on-one moment — at least that we the viewers are treated to — is a brief chat about how the women feel about you!
For Caila last night, it was: “I feel like I love you…but I don’t know why I can’t…share…I feel like my greatest fear is that I can’t totally, completely fall in love with somebody. And part of me is afraid because your greatest fear is being unloveable, and my greatest fear might be breaking your heart.” Wait, what? She earned a rose for that?!
Then, there was Emily, who took home a rose, and got another chance to win your heart by telling you: “I just want to be here…more than I have expressed, more than I have been able to express…I want to grow but I want you to experience that with me…I want you there for things I experience. I want you there!”
Ben, how can you possibly find a wife when these are the conversations that you’re having with the bachelorettes? Either they’re bitching about each other or they’re obsessing over their feelings for you. Not one of them has ever even asked you about what you actually do as a software salesman. On the other hand, how about asking them about their lives? So far, all we know is that you were weirdly impressed by Olivia, who QUIT her job as a news anchor just for the chance to marry you. Wouldn’t most guys have been on ” crazy lady alert” after this kind of behavior?
Perhaps, Ben, you’re having deep and meaningful heart-to-hearts with contestants off-camera. If so, though, why not insist that these be shown on air? It would make for a far more fascinating show if we could see THOSE exchanges on TV. And it sure would portray both you and your ladies in a far-more-relatable and ultimately romantic light.
Do you agree, Hollywoodlifers — do you want to see real talk, not ridiculousness? Let me know.