Scarlett Johansson Delivers The Sexiest Reading Of The Bible Ever — Listen

We never thought we could feel hot and bothered by a Bible reading, but Scarlett Johansson's sexy voice makes Deuteronomy feel so dirty! You've got to listen to this, because you'll never be able to read the good book in the same way again! Who knew the Old Testament could be so sultry? Scarlett Johansson, 30, has given a Bible reading for Mike O’Brien’s upcoming comedy album, Tasty Radio. Given, Scar-Jo's deep, smooth voice could probably make the phone book sound sexy, but the Bible? You've got to hear it to believe it!

Scarlett Johansson Bible
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Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

Referring to the Bible, “that’s a tough one to make sound sexy, might need a little help” Mike says in his best deep, sexy voice. That’s when Scarlett suddenly appears, to which he replies “that’s pretty random…and sexy,” while he assigns her readings as a porn instrumental plays under his voice.

“Deuteronomy, Chapter 21, Verse 18,” Scarlett begins. “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, his father and mother shall bring him to the elders at the gates of his town. They shall say to the elders, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and all the men of this town shall stone him to death” she coos into the microphone, with a heavy, sultry emphasis on “stubborn” and “rebellious.” Scarlett makes violent death sound sexy!

Scarlett then calls for “more sexy music” for another verse reading as she seductively purrs “When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife. And you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and trim her nails. And set aside the clothes in which she was captured.” If this wasn’t the Bible, we’d swear she was reading some erotica!

For “Sexy Bible,” Mike knew he could never satirize Deuteronomy by himself. “I wasn’t sure what the comedic take would be when I first became obsessed with Deuteronomy, but I knew a female should be delivering most of it because a lot of the quotes are very misogynistic and who wants to hear a guy make fun of that,” Mike shared with Rolling Stone. “I was so thrilled that Scarlett said she’d do it. We actually did another, half-improvised sketch after finishing ‘Sexy Bible.’ I’ll probably release the other one later on.” YES PLEASE! We’ll gladly take more sexy Scarlett readings anytime!

HollywoodLifers, what do you think of Scarlett’s sexy Bible reading?

— Beth Shilliday

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