S-ex-ual tension is definitely in the air. The first kiss of the season goes to Zach and Jenna — who get their flirt on right in front of their exes. Oh, and this is before the suck and blow games begin.
Battle of the Exes 2 is definitely that — a battlefield of ex-lovers. On the January 13 episode, we saw what happens when two exes can’t communicate (cough, Averey and Jonny, cough), and what happens when a girl meets the man of her dreams, Thor. Yes, I’m talking to you, Zach.
‘The Challenge’ Plays Ex Swap
Right away, we see Zach finally go for Jenna — we knew that was coming after he couldn’t stop talking about her backside. While Jonna was upset, Jay pretty much told her they should hang out then. “Might as f–kin’ well,” was her response. Later on, we finally see Zach and Jenna kiss, and apparently that was enough for Jonna — she kissed Jay. No need to point out that they both get in relationships every time a new season begins.
Side note: Zach later learns that Jenna doesn’t have much “upstairs,” when she thinks that each state has its own president.
Meanwhile, Averey sees her ex Jonny flirting with Nany, the girl he hooked up with on last season. Naturally, she got emotional — and the girls backed her, even Nany’s ex-bff Theresa, saying that Nany has pretty much hooked up with everyone.
Are you following this, because it’s about to get a lot more sexual. Fast.
A Sexual-Innuendo-Filled Challenge
Most middle schoolers know what suck and blow is, and that’s what first base of this week’s challenge was. Yes, TJ Lavin named the levels in bases. Creative, Teej.
So clearly it was less than comfortable for exes — Zach actually said he’d rather kiss a toilet seat in a porta potty than Jonna. Unfortunately, Jonny and Averey can’t get it done and lose first.
Second base involved the girls using their hands to spin a baseball bat off of a stick, while the men had to spin off two baseballs — you can make the connection. Unfortunately, not every team could finish. Again, I’ll let you make the gross connotation that was made through this entire episode.
Next, third base was all tongue — using only their mouths, they had to lick through a board of peanut butter to get to a combination. CT and Diem, Wes and Theresa, and Nany and Johnny Bananas all made it . . . to home plate.
So, how did you score? It was pretty much a gyrating pole competition — the pairs had to stand across each other with long poles and the man’s had to fit inside the woman’s. Yes, really. After the guy gets it in, they have to run in close and make a cork a pop out of the end. Bananas and Nany pull off the last-minute win.
Bananas & Nany Hold The Cards
After Theresa pretty much tells the whole house that Nany is a slut, combined with the long-winded feud between Wes and Bananas, the winners have their eye on them for The Dome. Plus, Wes did almost throw them in week one.
So, the Teresa V. Nany fight began and yes, there was yelling and tears. However, Bananas and Nany didn’t want the target on his back, so in went the rookies, Tom and Hailey. In the dome, Averey proved just how strong she was, in a pretty much tug of war where she and Jonny won in a tough battle. Oh, and she called him “baby,” but don’t worry, it just slipped out. And then she cried over the bittersweetness of their break up. Can these two jus make up already?
We have to say the most heart-wrenching moment of the episode was seeing Diem get sick after the episode, complaining of pains. She skipped watching the Dome and afterward, CT insisted he stay in with her while the house went out, but she wanted to be alone — so he kissed her and let her be. Of course, we know that Diem lost her battle with cancer on Nov. 14, and the season is dedicated to her, as well as Jemmye‘s partner, Knight.
— Emily Longeretta