Alison is still in Rosewood, and that only means that things are getting weirder on ‘Pretty Little Liars’ — it seems like her mysterious manner has rubbed off on the liars, and don’t even get me started on Mr. and Mrs. Hastings. Creep alert!
The Pretty Little Liars are going down a dark path this week. Aria (Lucy Hale) is still freaking out that she’s a cold-blooded murderer, Spencer (Troian Bellisario) thinks her dad is a cold-blooded murderer, Emily (Shay Mitchell) is not in a good place with Paige (Lindsey Shaw) and Hanna (Ashley Benson) is a shoplifter — picking up some pretty edgy clothes, might I add. And I haven’t even gotten to Alison (Sasha Pieterse) yet…
Shana Comes Back From The Dead (Kinda)
Hanna is sporting some sassy black streaks in her hair this week, but Mona (Janel Parrish) is the one who’s truly on the dark side. That girl is nasty.
Not only did she remind Aria that she killed Shana, unintentionally, but she’s convincing Lucas (Brendan Robinson) and god-knows-who-else in her army (ahem, Paige) that Alison’s abduction story was made up. I mean, it was, but does she really have to call out the back-from-the-dead girl so soon?
Back to Shana, Aria is still legit freaking out. Every IM she reads, she thinks about Shana. Every book she reads — Shana. And everything she Googles? You guessed it — Shana. Her online digging brings about footage from Shana’s funeral, which she watched a zillion times, and Shana comes back from the dead! Okay, not really, but Aria completely hallucinates Shana popping up from her casket and freaks out (in her school’s computer lab, nonetheless). But let’s face it, she has the right to freak out. She killed a girl! This only seems not entirely crazy because we’re in Rosewood.
Sorry Paige, But Emily Has A New Friend
Emily’s new friend, Sydney (Chloe Bridges) has her fair share of concerns about Ali, too. She tells Emily that she’s curious, but that’s not the focus here — let’s talk about how close the new duo is getting, and how Paige isn’t really feelin’ it. Who knew that swim meet could be so dry? (Ha ha ha.) RIP, Paily. For now…
Emney (or should we call it Sydily?) isn’t the only new duo at Rosewood High. Andrew (Brandon W. Jones) is getting his flirt on with Spencer! No, he’s not feeding her drugs this time around, but he did find other sorts of drugs: rat poison, which appears to be purchased by Spencer’s dad just one week ago, and I don’t think the Hastings’ residence has a rodent problem. Spoiler alert: consumption of arsenic kills humans.
‘A’ New, Damaged Alison
Meanwhile, Alison convinces her father to let her back to Rosewood High, much against his will. He wants her to stay safe, and that means leaving Rosewood. “I’m not the person I was two years ago,” Ali explains. She wants to move on, but not move away from her friends.
Mr. DiLaurentis (Jim Abele) urges Ali to get a medical exam to check everything out but Ali promises that “nothing like that happened.” Ali has never been so damaged and distraught, but I can’t neglect to point out that when she was texting Emily, she paused at her sign-off — she almost wrote “A,” instead of Ali! Duh duh duhhh!
Hanna accompanies Ali to the doctor, and she’s on the verge of a breakdown, during her medical exam. It’s hard to tell if it’s because she’s trying to keep up with her pretty little lie or if she’s emotionally damaged from being gone for years, but she does have another scarring secret up her skirt. “Once you know something, you can’t un-know it,” she tells Hanna. “Believe me, I wish I could.”
Ali gives the liars a recording of her medical exam, and wants them all to memorize it. You know, to add to their giant lie so that they’re prepped when they’re questioned by the police.
Spencer The Killer? — It Runs In The Family
Spencer’s mom is shunning her away from most of the episode, until she reveals that Mrs. DiLaurentis believed that Spencer hurt Ali, and after she returned, she was still planning on pinning Spencer for the girl who is in the grave. Now that Mrs. D is dunzo, Spencer and Mama Hastings are onto Mr. Hastings — or is she just trying to cover up for her own crime? Did one of Spencer’s parents kills Mrs. D to shut her up — for good?
Turns out, they definitely could have. The pills found in Mrs. D’s autopsy weren’t rat poison, but they were Losartan. And guess what pills killed Ali’s mama? Losartan! And guess what’s in the Hastings’ kitchen cabinet? Losartan!
Speaking of moms, Spencer’s mom was sent to a spa to wind down. All bets are on Spencer’s mom not getting an aromatherapy massage.
Aria Runs Back To Ezra (Yes!)
In the midst of her downward Shana-induced spiral, Aria runs to Ezra’s apartment for comfort. For the record, Ezra is the best almost-boyfriend ever. What kind of guy makes you feel better for murdering a girl by playing checkers? And chess?!
And then they talk about Ezra’s gunshot wound. You know, that one he acquired when he was saving the girls from an A-chase on a rooftop. They are so normal. It’s perfect.
But big news, guys. Aria almost sleeps over. She doesn’t end up shacking it at Mr. Fitz’s place, but she totally wanted to! And he did, too! I call snuggling in the near future!
(FYI, next week, Mona slaps Ali! And she slaps her back! Set your DVRs…it’s happening.)
HollywoodLifers, do you think that Spencer’s dad killed Mrs. D? If so, is he a cold-blooded killer or was he just trying to protect his daughter? Or is he covering up for Mrs. H? How did Alison get her scar? And let us know if Aria and Ezra should get back together!
— Elizabeth Wagmeister