In ‘The Mountain And The Viper’, the June 1 episode of ‘Game Of Thrones’, Gregor Clegane and Prince Oberyn Martell square off in a battle for Tyrion Lannister’s life — who will win?
Any Game Of Thrones fan may think that they’re used to gruesome deaths, but the death in “The Mountain And The Viper” took the cake. In the June 1 episode, Gregor Clegane and Prince Oberyn squared off in order to finally determine Tyrion’s fate after being accused of the murder of Joffrey, Daenerys brings hellfire down on her betrayer, Petyr must explain the death of Lysa, and everybody in Westeros and beyond continue to basically have horrible fates. Read on for the full recap!
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: The Wildlings Are Coming, The Wildlings Are Coming
“The Mountain And The Viper” picks up in a Mole’s Town brothel where a lady of the night is burping the tune to “The Bear And The Maiden Fair”. She genuinely makes a fantastic first impression right up until she’s rude to Gilly (Hannah Murray) because Gilly’s son kept her up crying all night.
She’s not long for this world, though; Ygritte (Rose Leslie) and her merry band of wildlings storm Mole’s Town and the brothel and Ygritte herself stabs the mystery prostitute through the chest. She falls upon Gilly, hiding with her son, and Ygritte motions for her to “shh” as blood seeps through the ceiling above them.
At the Wall, the Night’s Watch have heard of the massacre and Samwell (John Bradley) is crying that he should’ve known, shouldn’t have left Gilly in Mole’s Town. However, his men remind him that she survived Craster, the journey back to the Wall, and a White Walker — she’ll be fine. Team Gilly!
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: In Which Daenerys Asks Whether Her Unsullied Have Had Both The Pillar And Their Stones Removed
In Meereen, Daenerys’ army of Unsullied are bathing. Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel) is also bathing, and Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) pervs on her openly naked body. Hey, HBO, where are the naked dudes at? Missandei is a bit startled and covers herself, belatedly; it’s no real use.
Missandei talks to Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) about it, and Dany tries to assure her that he couldn’t have been truly interested due to the whole castration thing. Minor stuff. Missandei insists that he was interested, and Daenerys asks of the castration process kind of hilariously: “When they castrate the boys, do they remove everything?” “What do you mean, your Grace?” “The pillar and the stones?” Missandei says she doesn’t know.
Listen, here: I couldn’t be less on board with a weird, star-cross’d romance in which Grey Worm spontaneously regains testosterone through the power of Missandei’s love.
Later, Grey Worm comes to apologize to Missandei for being a creep. (My words.) It turns into her apologizing for his castration, because sure. Why not?
Grey Worm says there’s no need for her to apologize, because if he hadn’t been taken, cut, freed by Daenerys, if he hadn’t killed his Master, if he hadn’t been chosen to lead the Unsullied, he’d never have met Missandei. He apologizes “for today”. She tells him that she’s glad he saw her. Ugh, you guys, this is weird and not necessary. It’s the most jarring, shoehorned-in romance ever.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Ramsay Snow Doesn’t Keep His Word — Obviously
Just outside the Dreadfort, Ramsay Snow (Iwan Rheon) is reminding Reek (Alfie Allen) that he must play his part as Theon Greyjoy in order to help the Boltons take back Moat Cailin from the Ironborn, but that he is never to forget that he is actually Reek. Reek agrees.
Reek approaches the Ironborn guarding Moat Cailin and tells him that if his men surrender — his men who are getting sicker by the day, and whose numbers are paltry compared to the Boltons’ — they will have safe passage back to the Iron Islands. Reek plays his part fairly well until the Ironborn’s leader spits in his face. He starts to breathe quickly, and whimper softly — he’s stressed, and his facade is cracking. It looks like things are going to go incredibly south for Reek until the leader gets an axe in his head from one of his men. “If we yield, we live?” the man asks Theon/Reek. Reek says yes.
In the next scene, they’ve all been flayed by Ramsay and his men. Obviously. Looks like the Boltons now have passage to the north!
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Petyr Baelish Must Answer For Lysa Arryn’s Death; He Weasels Out Of It — Obviously
In the Vale, it’s the aftermath of Lysa Arryn’s (Kate Dickie) death, and Petyr Baelish (Aiden Gillan) is claiming to a room full of lordly people that Lysa killed herself. They are not impressed with that explanation and find it suspicious that she died so soon after bringing that creepy little social climber to the Eyrie. They decide to bring in Sansa (Sophie Turner) as a witness, who immediately confesses that she’s not Alayne Stone but Sansa Stark.
Sansa says that she’ll tell them everything, which is something that could go incredibly poorly for Littlefinger, but instead, she paints him as a savior. In tears, she tells them of her hostage situation in King’s Landing as Joffrey’s plaything, how she was tormented by Cersei, married off to Tyrion.
However, they’re not to be distracted; they ask again about Lysa’s death, and she tells half-truths — Lysa was mentally ill, jealous, and claims that Petyr only gave her a fatherly (uncle-ly?) kiss on the cheek, after which Lysa flew into a rage and stepped through the Moon Door herself. Sansa is pathetically teary-eyed the whole time, which proves, as ever, that Sansa is an incredibly strong and clever character who never receives the credit she deserves. She’s playing her part like a pro.
After his trial of sorts, Petyr convinces them that “it’s time for Robin to leave the nest.” So, now, it looks like Petyr will have his castle and his Stark/Tully.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Daenerys Goes H.A.M. On Jorah For His Betrayal
Back in Meereen, Jorah (Iain Glen) is busted; a young boy has just delivered by hand to Ser Barristan (Ian McElhinney) Jorah’s pardon, signed by Robert Baratheon one year ago — when he and Daenerys met. He had been selling secrets to Varys; when Daenerys married Khal Drogo, when her brother Viserys died, when she was pregnant, and so on.
Daenerys tells him to get lost — she will spare his life only because she doesn’t want his body, dead or alive, in her city. He tries to tell her that he loved her, but Daenerys, awesomely, is having none of it and tells him to get gone, already, and to never presume to touch her or speak her name. Yeah! It’s true that Daenerys is often more harsh than the situation warrants, and that Jorah has been a calming influence on her at times, but her reaction to this betrayal is totally understandable. It’s difficult to really fault her for it.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: What’s In A Name? That Which We Call A Psychopath By Any Other Name Would Still Be A Huge Psychopath
Ramsay gives his father Moat Cailin, and Roose gives him his name — Ramsay Snow is now Ramsay Bolton, son of the Warden of the North, larger than any of the other kingdoms. Sure, why not give Ramsay more power?
Even Roose has questioned Ramsay’s methods at times, and while this also happens in the series of novels, it’s still sooo strange that Roose would have such poor judgment as to give his psychopath son legitimacy.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Sansa Stark Is The Best
Later, Sansa has the most open conversation with Petyr that she’s had with anyone all season, and she shows all of her cards, and her cleverness. Petyr asks her why she saved him, and she tells him they’d have thrown him through the Moon Door had she told the truth.
Not satisfied with that answer, he presses her for the truth, and she admits that she doesn’t know what they’d do with her after Littlefinger’s execution and, basically, it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t. “And you think you know me?” “I know what you want,” she replies. “Do you?” They make eye contact for a long, creepy, goatee’d moment. Sansa is still a prisoner in a gilded cage, but at least she has regained some of her power, and Petyr doesn’t seem like he’ll be underestimating her any time soon.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: Arya Stark Is Also The Best, Though
Hey, remember how Sandor (Rory McCann) wants to sell Arya (Maisie Williams) to her aunt Lysa? Remember how Lysa’s dead? They finally arrive at the Vale and Arya bursts into laughter when the guards inform her that Lysa has died, because of course — of course that’s Arya’s (and Sandor’s) luck. She is hysterical.
In the Eyrie, Petyr tries to explain death to a confused Robin, and tells him not to worry about death, but to “take charge of [his] life, for as long as it lasts.” Ominous. Meanwhile, Sansa is now a brunette, hiding her telltale Tully red hair, and has no idea of her sister down at the gates. Stark children, always passing ships in the night.
‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: The Battle For Tyrion’s Life Begins (And Ends)
Finally, the day of Tyrion’s (Peter Dinklage) trial has arrived; he and Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) are bonding in his cell. It’s quite a touching moment. Tyrion is fairly convinced that The Mountain (Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson) is going to destroy his champion, Prince Oberyn (Pedro Pascal), in the trial by combat, so it’s nice that he is having this moment with his brother.
Hilariously, Tyrion frets over Oberyn’s lack of armor — not even a helmet — and his pre-fight cup of ale.
The fight begins, and Oberyn tells Gregor who he is — the brother of Elia Martell, the woman Gregor raped before killing her and her children. They’re total opposites in battle; Oberyn is light, quick-footed, and Gregor is hulking, incredibly strong, and utterly undeterred by Oberyn’s demand for confession. Just as it looks like Gregor’s got the upper hand, Oberyn stabs the Mountain right through his chest with a spear. Jaime smirks a little, happy that his brother will live.
As Gregor lies there, Oberyn continues to demand a confession not only to the crime, but demands to hear that it was Tywin (Charles Dance) who ordered the kill.
All of a sudden, Gregor grabs Oberyn, punches all of his teeth out at once, slams him to the ground, pushes his thumbs into Oberyn’s eyes, and confesses: “I killed her children, and I raped her, then I smashed her head in like this,” and then, well, smashes Oberyn’s head in. It’s… gruesome. Gruesome isn’t even the word for it. Gregor rolls over, spent, possibly dead, as Oberyn’s head is a straight up smashed watermelon on the ground next to him.
Tywin then sentences his son to death, as the spectators learn a lesson in monologuing — you never monologue, kids. It gives your victims a chance to rally.
What did you think of “The Mountain And The Viper”, HollywoodLifers? How gruesome was Oberyn’s death? And how much do you miss his snarky, wonderful presence already? Is this really the end for Tyrion? Is everybody going to get on board with Sansa being the best, or what? Vote above and comment below!
— Amanda Michelle Steiner