Taylor Swift, issuing a friendship ultimatum is a risky gamble and guess what — it’s been a big backfire. Not only did your former BFF Selena Gomez NOT dump Justin Bieber, but now she’s friends with Kendall Jenner, who dated your ex Harry Styles!
Taylor Swift — you have to be regretting giving Selena Gomez a him-or-me ultimatum over Justin Bieber, 20. Not only are you the odd woman out since Selena is STILL happily seeing the Biebs, BUT you’ve also driven your ex-bestie into the friendship arms of Kendall Jenner, 18 — the woman who lured Harry Styles, 20, away from you just when you thought you two would reunite.
Taylor Swift & Selena Gomez Friends Again? — Taylor Needs To Make Up With BFF
Taylor, that has to hurt!
Did it hurt so much that you actually moved an entire coast away from Sel to your new Tribeca pad in NYC? You’ve been conspicuously out and about in New York over the past few weeks, while Selena has cemented her romance with Justin again, as well as her friendship with Kendall.
Did you also want to make certain that you would be far away from the Coachella festivities of the past couple weekends? Selena very publicity attended the musical festival with Kendall and Kylie Jenner, 16, even wearing matching bindis with Kendall and sharing outfits with Kylie.
Seeing photos of that newly tight threesome must be like a knife in your heart.
Well, Taylor, in a way, it’s payback. Selena was clearly very upset by your drop-Bieber ultimatum. “Selena feels like [Taylor]’s not as good a friend as she thought, if ending their friendship was so easy for Taylor,” an insider source told HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “She thinks the way Taylor is dealing with it is very petty.”
Selena didn’t purposely seek out Kendall to become friends with her, another source explained, but she also doesn’t care how you feel about it, Taylor. “She’s letting Taylor know that she’s not going to be controlled anymore,” the source said.
Taylor, that must be pretty hard for you to hear. No doubt, you thought you were acting in Selena’s best interests by trying to push her to stay out of what you perceived as a toxic relationship with Justin.
The problem, Taylor, is that even if you had the best of intentions, you were stepping into very dicey territory.
“Good, mature friendship is based on providing each other with support and caring. A friend can always voice her feelings about something but to give an ultimatum — even if it’s in Selena’s ‘best interests’ — is controlling,” explains Dr. Gilda Carle, “30-Second Therapist” for the Today show.
Taylor Swift — You Should Have Supported Selena Gomez’s Choice To Be With Justin Bieber
Think of it this way, Taylor: “A lot of people don’t love their friends’ spouses, but they are there for their friends, despite their own feelings,” adds Dr. Gilda.
So true, Taylor. Friends are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin — and that definitely includes a boyfriend that you don’t approve of.
I realize, Taylor, that you are not only a very sensitive and caring young woman, but that you no doubt see yourself as very principled. And it’s against your principles to see Justin “disrespecting” your friend Selena.
The only thing is, Taylor — it’s not up to you to decide how Selena should be treated by “the love of her life.” It’s up to Selena.
“She should have just stayed out of it and supported whatever choice Selena made. It’s not like Justin was abusing her [like the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing]. Taylor just doesn’t like Justin,” agrees psychologist Cooper Lawrence, author of The Cult of Celebrity. “Well, if Taylor doesn’t like Justin, then she just doesn’t have to date him — Selena does. I say, butt out.”
Now, Taylor, it’s too late for that — you already butted in and now you have no Selena as a BFF. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t repair the damaged situation.
First of all, you need to make the first move and do it soon. You can’t let the situation fester because you’re both so busy. It will only get worse and become harder to repair.
“Don’t throw your friendship away,” advises Cooper, and I totally agree. “You need each other more than you realize. In your business, it’s hard to find real friends and that’s what you were.”
Taylor Swift — You Need To Make The First Move In Repairing Your Friendship With Selena Gomez
Taylor, just pick up the phone and call Selena. Since it was your ultimatum, it’s up to you to make the first move. If she doesn’t pick up, text her. Tell her you’re truly sorry for giving her an ultimatum and asking her to choose between you and Justin. Tell her that you realize that it was wrong and that you love her no matter who she dates.
Taylor, you can be very direct and you don’t have to hold back your feelings. Explain to Selena that you value her friendship. You’ve had time to realize how your friendship is too valuable to lose over any guy and that you want to be there for her, no matter what.
My bet is that an honest, heartfelt conversation is all it will take to reopen the door to your caring friendship.
Then get on a plane, Taylor, and go see Selena. Have one of your favorite girls’ nights in, talking and baking and talking some more. My guess is that Selena will be so happy to hear from you and relieved to have you back as a non-judgmental friend, that your friendship will quickly get back to normal.
Taylor — you’re 24 years old and Selena is just 21. You have long lives and lots of love affairs ahead of you. You need each other.
Do you agree, HollywoodLifers? Should Taylor make up with Selena? Let me know.
— Bonnie Fuller
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