Ellen DeGeneres was a pro hosting the Oscars her second time around. The always hilarious, kind, and graceful host made the opening monologue of the March 2 ceremony delightful to watch — something we couldn’t exactly say about Seth MacFarlane last year. Find out what Ellen had to say about Jennifer Lawrence, Jared Leto, and more below!
Ellen DeGeneres killed it during her opening monologue at the Academy Awards on March 2, proving once and for all that you don’t need to rely on below-the-belt digs or crass humor to be a successful host.
Ellen DeGeneres Oscars Opening Monologue — Hilarious Digs At Lupita & More
Ellen started off her second show with a bang — the opening monologue featured the talk show host doling out hilarious-yet-classy digs at the nominees, who seemed delighted to be laughed at for once.
“June Squibb is nominated for Nebraska — at 84-years-old she is the oldest nominee; she was wonderful in Nebraska,” Ellen said, before digging into the gleeful nom for her age. “I’m telling everyone that you were wonderful in Nebraska! That film you did! Wonderful!” (Get it? She can’t hear because she’s old?)
“Lupito Nyong’o is here,” Ellen continued. “Amazing performance in 12 Years A Slave. She is a Kenyan. Barkhad Abdi is here, he’s nominated for Captain Phillips. He’s Somalian, he’s a sommelier, so he knows a lot about wine.”
Play on words! Love it. Next Ellen went into the touchy-feelies, telling everyone that they were all winners… well, kind of.
“I think you should think of yourselves as winners,” she said. “Not all of you, but the people who have won before should think of themselves as winners.”
Oscars Opening Monologue — Digs At Jennifer Lawrence & Jared Leto
Next Ellen really dug into the nominees, “attacking” such favorites as Meryl Streep, J-Law, and Jared Leto.
“Meryl has been nominated for an Oscar a total of 18 times,” she said. “It sounds good, but if you do the math, between dresses, hair, and makeup… Meryl can’t afford to be nominated again. That’s a lot of money.”
Next, Ellen dug into Jennifer Lawrence‘s 2013 Best Actress fall — minutes after she fell on the carpet headed into this year’s awards — saying, “If you win tonight, I think we should bring you the Oscar.”
Finally, Ellen went into how beautiful everyone looked, highlighting Jared Leto as the prettiest princess of the night. Dallas Buyers Club “deals with the serious issue of people who have sex at rodeos,” she quipped.
What did you think of Ellen’s second monologue, HollywoodLifers? How do you think it compared to her first time?
— Shaunna Murphy