‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: Everything Hurts And We’re Dying, Or, Stilinski Family Feelings
Hitting us right where it hurts, Papa Stilinski tells Scott (Tyler Posey) that the reason for putting Stiles under psychiatric hold for 72 hours is so that he can head to LA to see a specialist because he “saw an MRI that looked exactly like his [wife’s]” and that it scared him. So basically, we enter the episode already ruined.
Eichen House looks no less creepy on the inside than it does the outside. It is a total One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest situation and what makes it worse is a heartbreaking exchange where Papa Stilinski admonishes himself for forgetting to bring Stiles’ pillow and that he’s not going to check Stiles in because he won’t leave him there without a good nights’ rest. This is all awful and terrible.
In other horrifying news, Stiles sees a patient hang himself and an orderly show like, not nearly enough concern.
The nogitsune scuttles across the screen.
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: But Didn’t Marin Morrell Die, Though? Seriously. She Died, Right?
Over to Deaton (Seth Gilliam), who has been uncharacteristically helpful this season, we learn that the lichen that he injected Stiles with last episode will only keep the nogitsune at bay for a couple of days. Given the last scene, we’re not so sure it’s at bay like, at all.
Then we meet Stiles’ new roommate, Oliver, who sleeps in four-point restraints.
Stiles, on the other hand, didn’t sleep at all, telling his roommate the next morning that he can’t sleep without his pillow. Thanks, Teen Wolf — we definitely needed that.
Stiles, on the hunt for a phone to get his father to get him the hell out of Eichen House, finds Malia (Shelley Hennig)! Remember her? Werecoyote and alleged (through rigorous DNA testing — i.e. Lydia and Allison looking at a picture of her) forgotten daughter of Peter Hale? Yeah, she punches Stiles right in his beautiful, mole-bedecked face.
And then we see MARIN MORRELL (Bianca Lawson) come to help break up the fight!! We’re not being funny: didn’t she die? Seriously, didn’t a javelin go through her chest last season, or something?
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: Are Derek Hale And Chris Argent Jailbird BFF?
Next we find out what Derek (Tyler Hoechlin) and Chris (J.R. Bourne) have been up to. It’s not a lot. They’re both in jail, Chris tells us about berserkers, Derek recites a definition that comes straight from the Encyclopaedia Brittanica Bestiary and we are all aflutter with Derek Hale: Suddenly Knowing Things, and Chris tells Derek that he would feel no remorse in putting down the nogitsune. Hey — remember when Derek was all for killing Jackson (Colton Haynes) and now he wants to save Stiles? Be still, our shipper hearts.
Back at Eichen House, Morrell is leading group, because why not? Malia is surprisingly well-spoken considering that she lived as a coyote from the age of nine years old.
Meanwhile, the nogitsune lurks.
Suddenly, we see Stiles break out with red, veiny lines all over his neck. Morrell takes Stiles aside and tells him that when the marks fade, the nogitsune will return. Then Morrell gives Stiles amphetamines (you know, speed) to keep him awake. Totally normal stuff! I mean, what high school guidance counselor turned mental health counselor doesn’t give teenagers a little speed now and again? Should go great with his Ritalin.
Morrell tells Stiles that she will do all she can to “maintain the balance” which is all well and fine but didn’t she die, though?
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: In Which A Group Of Teenagers Conspire To Rob An Armored Car
At Allison (Crystal Reed)’s giant apartment, we are joined by Lydia (Holland Roden), Scott, and the Twinsformers (Max and Charlie Carver), where we learn that our intrepid heroes are going to rob an armored car to get at an ancient scroll that has the answer to curing Stiles. Sure! Why not?
Back at Eichen House, Malia and Stiles have a post-punch chat where we learn that she is not happy with Stiles and Scott at all — that she was happier being a coyote with a fur coat to keep her warm. Stiles offers to help her learn how to change back to a coyote with Scott’s help in exchange for stealing keys to the basement to investigate the symbol he saw there in his dreams — because who doesn’t want to go into the basement of a psychiatric hospital?
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: What’s Going On With The Argents Right Now? Seriously: What’s Up?
Then we see Chris being taken out of jail to have a chat with the mysterious Spanish-speaking woman from the 3B premiere. She calls him “mijo” but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s her son — but it doesn’t NOT mean that! Jeff Davis has made us paranoid.
Worth noting is that Chris asks her, “where in the code does it say that my wife had to kill herself?” Correct us if we’re wrong here, but didn’t Chris assist in that suicide? We’re just sayin’.
Cut to: fight time! Allison points a crossbow at Kincaid, the bad guy who has the scroll. Kira (Arden Cho) jumps onto his back and is thrown away like a ragdoll, and Kincaid flashes his beta blues at Scott and it’s on!
Scott may be a true alpha, but he’s not really a match for Kincaid, who is enormous. Where is Derek?! As the leader of the Scott McCall Fan Club, we were kind of expecting him to jump in to save the day, but ugh, the twins saved Scott, or whatever. They double-teamed (heh) and beat the crap out of Kincaid.
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: Is There Anything More Romantic Than The Basement Of A Psychiatric Hospital?
Back at Eichen House in the creepy records basement, Stiles takes Malia’s tiny, cold hands in his big puppy paws and then she swoops in to kiss him. Ok! Sure! Stiles has been kissed four times in the course of Teen Wolf and they have all been sexy assaults on his face by which he has been totally surprised. They kiss again.
Oh my gosh, this gets suuuper sensual, y’all. Is Stiles about to lose the virginity he tried so hard to lose in 3A in the records room of what he calls a “nuthouse?”
Stiles, suddenly feeling way less urgency to find the answer to his problems than he was about five minutes ago, cuddles with Malia on a dusty couch. Young love!
Then they bust into the wall where the symbol is, Stiles gets Tasered by Oliver who appears out of nowhere because of course, and Oliver tells Stiles that he’s “gonna let the evil spirits out” and sets a power drill a-buzzin’, aiming for skulls.
Stiles implores the nogitsune to let Malia go, to which the nogitsune simply replies to “let [him] in.” Stiles resists, but it’s futile: he lets the nogitsune in and the drilling stops just as Oliver is about to drill into Malia’s head. Yikes.
‘Teen Wolf’ Recap: Whoa, Hold Up: Is Stiles Going To Get The Bite?
Back to Deaton, the stolen scroll reads that “one method of expelling a nogitsune is to change the body of the host,” which brings us to how we change Stiles’ body –“by changing him into a werewolf,” Scott says. Ah! Werewolf Stiles!
Malia leaves Eichen House, presumably to look for Scott McCall so that she can go to the Center For Werecoyotes Who Can’t Change Good And Who Want To Learn How To Do Other Stuff Good, Too. But she looked totally evil as she skipped out of Eichen House, smiling and flashing her blue eyes — meaning she has killed innocents. (i.e. Her parents. But it was an accident! OR WAS IT?) We’re going for Malia being evil, because we all know that Derek can’t have nice things, like a non-insane family member.
What did you think of “Echo House,” HollywoodLifers? Would you love to see Stiles as a werewolf? Are you into Stalia? (Miles? No. That’s worse.) Is Malia evil? Did you also notice a dire lack of Derek Hale and Scott McCall in this episode? Did you care that Peter Hale (Ian Bohen) was not in it at all? Be sure to vote and comment with all your thoughts below!
— Amanda Michelle Steiner