A few things were revealed during the Jan. 29 episode of ‘Duck Dynasty’ that weren’t particularly surprising: that technology and the Robertsons aren’t best friends, and that Phil Robertson tells the scariest ghost stories.
I live in a small apartment and I am in a constant battle with my smoke detector, so I could sympathize with the hell Willie and Jase Robertson and the rest of the Duck Commander office were going through in the Jan. 29 episode of Duck Dynasty when a detector derailed their last-minute order. And I wasn’t surprised at all that the man vs. technology showdown yielded some of the best quotes of the season. Let’s relive them below.
‘Duck Dynasty’ Season 5 Episode 4: The 5 Best Quotes
“What are y’all doing? Why ain’t y’all working?” — Willie Robertson
I imagine Willie says this to his employees every day. But this time he says it as they’re all engaged in a rousing game of cornhole, and it gives us the background of tonight’s episode — basically, the gang needs to get an order ready for a morning delivery but obviously, shenanigans will transpire.
“Do you know why, Priscilla, you don’t wanna breathe those fumes? You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That’s the way your brain will look.” — Phil Robertson
Grandpa Phil, we were just trying to get our nails done with Miss Kay! GRANDPA PHIL IS THE SCARIEST GRANDPA EVER! (More of this to come.)
“You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.” — Uncle Si Robertson
No, Uncle Si, we will not give you any of those things. Especially if you’re trying to make weapons.
“When I hear a sound that’s particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.” — Jase Robertson
First of all, is anyone surprised that Jase is complaining about something? Anyways, the guys’ crazy work all-nighter is interrupted by a stray smoke detector that won’t stop beeping (Has any other show successfully made a smoke detector a plot point?). And Jase needs to put an end to it. And in the broiest moment of Duck Dynasty, Willie takes up the task with him. It was like watching Katniss and Peeta survive The Hunger Games… but not really.
“The key to telling a scary story — throw a little realism in there.” — Phil Robertson
Phil is scary enough, but it turns out his stories are even scarier (in theory at least). And I’m a grown man — imagine how his little granddaughters felt about it. The story he tells is basically a shoddy account of how he almost murdered Uncle Si, who was walking around the house covered in puke for some reason. I don’t know exactly where this story came from, but it was scary merely because Phil told it.
So HollywoodLifers, what was your favorite part of Duck Dynasty tonight? Let us know!
— Andrew Gruttadaro