The Gallaghers are back, and actually kind of better than ever for once! Season 4 kicked off with Fiona in her best place yet — near the poverty line — though of course, Frank soon arrived to threaten her American dream.

Oh Shameless, how do we live without your harmonious blend of dark comedy, unthinkable tragedy, and heartwarming family drama for most of the year? Fiona (Emmy Rossum) and the rest of the Gallagher family rolled into town on Jan. 12 for their best premiere yet — check out the five most insane moments from “Simple Pleasures” below!

The Top 5 Craziest Moments From ‘Shameless’

1. Frank’s heroin bath. Shameless has never been afraid to make its star both horribly unlikeable and visually disgusting, but tonight’s premiere featured Frank (William H. Macy) at his lowest point yet. Covered in his own filth and clearly dying, Frank was given the world’s nastiest bath since Louie when Sheila (Joan Cusack) and poor, poor Carl (Ethan Cutkosky) were kind enough to try to save him after he was found high and squatting by the police. You could literally smell the man through your TV. Horrifying.

2. Debbie’s virginity auction. Debbie (Emma Kenney) has always been a rock for Fiona, but tonight’s episode made it clear that things have changed for the Gallagher sisters — emotionally, and physically. We’re okay with Debbie dating and exploring her womanhood, but auctioning off her virginity with her skank-a-licious friends? Not remotely okay.

It’s great that Fiona has moved on from Steve and is enjoying a real, romantic relationship with a man who doesn’t lie and steal cars, but she should maybe back off a bit from the boss-man and focus some of her energy on her sister (and those awful mini-skirts).

3. The never-ending horror of Veronica’s baby. Veronica (Shanola Hampton) and Kev’s (Steve Howey) baby-making process was definitely the most emotionally scarring in human history. Kev spent much of last season having sex with his wife’s own mother — thinking that Veronica could never get pregnant — and those hijinks continued tonight in full-force. Not only did Carol mention snorting cocaine during her own pregnancy with Veronica, but Veronica herself beat all of the odds and actually got pregnant, rendering all of that mom-sex completely unnecessary.

Sounds great, right? Well Kev thinks so, but Veronica was disturbingly serious when she discussed killing her mother’s Kev-baby since she’d never love it as much as her own. Dark, V!

4. Carl’s sexual awakening. Everything about Carl and Frank’s father-and-son bonding tonight was heartbreaking. I thought it couldn’t possibly get worse than last year, when Frank had Carl rob his wealthy foster family and let his son take the rap, but it did — not only did Carl have to feed his father alcohol in the most horrifying of ways, he also had to deal with Frank’s nauseating masturbation advice and wet dream commentary. You couldn’t have told the kid to use lubrication, Frank? Really? Major fatherhood fail.

5. Everything about Lip’s college experience. A frozen flash mob, really? Is this 2007? Also, put a towel on that door, horrible roommate. It will be hard to blame Lip when he inevitably moves back in to the Gallagher household in two weeks.

What did you think of the episode, HollywoodLifers? Which Gallagher has it the worst this season? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

– Shaunna Murphy
Follow @ShaunnaLMurphy

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