‘RHOBH’ is finally back for its fourth season, and the ‘Hills’ are alive with the sound of drama!
Old friends (and old feuds) returned on the Nov. 4 season premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, with Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump at the center of the drama — but hey, what else is new? Kyle thought she could ease the tension by having Lisa cater her party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce, but as we all know, when food from SUR is involved, you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster.
The awkwardness began when Lisa made a “joke” about Mauricio cheating on Kyle — in front of their kids, which of course, made it even “funnier” — then continued when Kyle, once again, accused Yolanda Foster of being a liar. (That’s right, Kyle, pick on the lady with Lyme disease.)
Based on what she said to the cameras this week, Kyle really wants to get her friendship with Lisa back to the way it used to be, but I suspect it’s mostly for show. Lisa’s always been more of a realist, and she knows it’s no use. Things change, people change and it’s time to accept the fact that Kyle and Lisa’s day in the sun is over.
Much to my surprise, Brandi Glanville managed to make it through the entire hour without accusing someone of suing her, a clear sign we’re now living in a post-Maloof world. She did, however, manage to offend an entire race of people by referring to herself as “a white version of The Jeffersons,” simply because she’s “movin’ on up” to a bigger house. She also declared her independence from men — even though she’s totally sleeping with the realtor who’s helping her buy this new house. But hey, Brandi’s a complicated woman. This is not news.
Kim’s New Leash On Life
Speaking of surprises, we didn’t get a single emotional breakdown from Kim Richards on the premiere, and I feel a little cheated. She came close to crying a few times, mostly when she talked about her daughter going to college, or when she talked about the new love of her life — her dog, Kingsley, who’s making it his personal mission to eat Kim’s house from the floor up. Seriously, Kingsley chews so much scenery, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t get an offer to guest star on Scandal after this.
Meet The Newbies
The season premiere also introduced us to the new Housewives in town, Joyce Giraud and Carlton Gebbia, who are both super-ridiculous in their own special ways. Let’s start with Carlton, who named her children Destiny, Mystery and Cross, yet has the gall to get upset when people find those names even the least bit surprising. “Don’t f**k with my children’s names,” Carlton said to during a confessional, which I chose to interpret as, “Look, I know I gave my kids stupid names, but it’s too late to turn back now, so let’s just pretend they’re normal, OK?”
Joyce is the far more normal of the duo, but being the prettiest member of the cast — she’s a former pageant girl, after all — is already stirring up jealousy within the group. As my girl Yolanda said, “Joyce is cute, and for sure has better hair than Kyle.” Oh snap.
— Andy Swift