Everybody’s favorite loose-cannon C.I.A. officer is back — and looser than ever!

“Just what is it that you’re smoking, Ms. Mathison?” That question, posed to Carrie (Claire Danes) on the Sept. 29 season premiere of Homeland, pretty much sums up everything she did on the episode — and the past two seasons, to be honest. From a random hookup with a dude she met at a bodega to a wild outburst at a classy lunch, our girl was in rare form tonight. And you can’t help but love her; even when she’s right, she’s wrong.

OK, quick plot summary: 58 days have passed since the Langley bombing and the C.I.A. is still hunting for the elusive Ginger Prince, formerly known as Brody (Damian Lewis). Both Carrie and Saul (Mandy Patinkin) were put on trial to get to the bottom of his disappearance, and while Carrie was able to hold her own — as well as that nut-job possibly could — Saul sang like a damn canary. He confirmed that Carrie had been sleeping with Brody and that she’s bipolar. Basically, he’s a really good friend.

Over at Chez Terrorist, Jessica (Morena Baccarin) adjusted to life as a single lady, while also figuring out how to deal with Dana (Morgan Saylor), who apparently tried to kill herself during the hiatus between seasons. Oh, and Chris was there too. He was mostly in the background, but I’m pretty sure he called Dana a whore at one point. It’s possible I imagined that to make Chris more interesting, but I choose to believe I heard him correctly.

Honestly, this episode was so batty, I almost didn’t even realize that Brody was completely absent. I can’t wait to see his bald mug back on this show… very soon.

Carrie Mathison’s Parade Of Bad Decisions

OK, now we’re going to move on to the second portion of tonight’s recap: an analysis of all the bats**t crazy decisions made by Carrie, who’s barely qualified to work at a Burger King at this point, much less for the C.I.A.

First of all, she said she decided to stop taking “traditional” medication for her bipolar disorder, instead medicating herself with exercise. And sleep. And tequila. Not only is that not a real thing, but that mistake also led to her second mistake of the night…

While shopping at her local bodega — and by “shopping,” I mean cramming at least six bottles of tequila into a basket — she met a strange man. Did she find out his name? No. But did she take him home and let him plow her on the stairs of her apartment? You bet!

Two mistakes down, one to go.

The cherry on top of this sundae — or, rather, the Carrie on top of this Sunday – was when she barged into Saul’s perfectly lovely brunch for another one of her classic freak-outs.

“F**k you!” she proclaimed. “F**k all of you!”

In her defense, she was mad that someone had leaked an important document about Brody, but like I said earlier, even when Carrie’s right, she’s wrong.

HollywoodLifers, what did you think of the Homeland season premiere? Which of Carrie’s brilliant decisions did you enjoy most? Drop a comment with your review of the episode below!

WATCH: ‘Homeland’ Season 3 Trailer

— Andy Swift
Follow @AndySwift

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