‘RHOBH’ Recap — Lisa Vanderpump & Kyle Richards Square Off In Paris

Mon, March 4, 2013 9:25pm EDT by 6 Comments
Lisa Vanderpump Kyle Richards Fight
Courtesy of Bravo

Last week, our time in Paris was cut short, we were left asking WTF was going on with Kim Richards, and the only possible housewife fight fizzled before it even began. It’s time to find out if Kim’s back to popping pills and to see if the ladies get a little more feisty!

“Cobblestones and high heels do not mix,” laments Kyle Richards. And so begins our unfortunate time in Paris.

Kim Richards: Has She Relapsed?

The Paris group has splintered off into three groups — Yolanda Foster and Brandi Glanville are off jogging on the Seine, Mauricio and Kyle are having a romantic walkabout, and Ken and Lisa Vanderpump and Kim Richards are shopping. None of this is really noteworthy except the fact that Kim is babbling and doing so very poorly. One second she’s slurring on about how Kyle has “changed” and the next she’s distractedly yelling about a cyclist like the dog in Up. I was a little annoyed at everyone for jumping to conclusions last week, but maybe they were right about Kim.

That night, Lisa organizes a cooking class for the group, and as they’re heading out they realize they’re one short. Oh wait, where’s Kim, they all ask. While everyone thinks LITERALLY the worst — as in, Yolanda and Kyle actually start talking like they’re going open the door and find Kim dead on the bathroom floor. But I guess she was just sleeping! Although, that excuse seems a little flimsy once Kim starts telling everyone she was with Lisa all afternoon and Lisa’s like, “Uhh, no girl.”

Lisa Vanderpump: Insensitive Much?

Which hurts Kim. I mean, Lisa was sort of insinuating that Kim was drugged up and kind of making fun of the whole thing, which is the wrong thing to do to a recovering addict. Talk about insensitive. And she only makes it worse when she tries to butt in on the sister healing time before cooking class. The more she prods the angrier Kim — and I — get. Lisa — go away! We obviously don’t need your help!

The ladies slave over the stoves to pump out a whole bunch of duck breasts, which Kyle so eloquently describes as “brown bubblegum,” but no one has enough time to enjoy the French cuisine because freaking Lisa can’t stop talking about how Kim was late to class. This time she’s talking Mauricio’s ear off, and he’s only politely listening — let’s be honest, he don’t care. Thank god Yolanda jumps in and tells her that that conversation is OVER.

When the group goes shopping the next morning, Mauricio shows the world the right way to deal with Kim’s issues — by being supportive. He pulls an admirable move and buys Kim a purse for her troubles. Take notes, Lisa. Unfortunately, he later ruins all this credit in my book by riding a segway around Paris with Ken. The whitest thing I have seen all year.

Lisa Vanderpump & Kyle Richards’ Eiffel Tower Showdown

All of this frustrating behavior from Lisa finally boils over into a full-blown talk between Yolanda, Kim, and Kyle where they decide that the English lass needs a talking to. Kyle actually steps up for once and stands up to Lisa. Did I mention that she does it while they’re on the Eiffel Tower? Because yes, Bravo.

Turns out Lisa is still salty about the time Kyle refused to back her up, and that she’s still stewing over Kyle’s Bobby Fisher analogy. Their friendship has died down this season and though their reasons for that aren’t that solid, they’re both certainly upset by the mere fact of the matter, and the way Lisa’s handled the Kim situation only adds fuel to the flames. So the fighting continues. And then the truth finally comes out — Kyle is really just jealous of Brandi’s friendship with Lisa. Now I REALLY feel like we’re back in middle school.

To go over this again, Lisa was mad at Kyle because she didn’t back her up during her confrontation way back when in Las Vegas. And also because their relationship “changed.” Kyle was mad at Lisa because she never realized that people can have more than one friend. Obviously these issues aren’t that hard to get over and what do you know — both ladies seem to get over it pretty easily. They kiss on the mouth and make up, on the top of the Eiffel Tower. How romantic?

The jetlag of flying to Paris has really taken the oomph out of these girls — that’s two weeks in a row without a blowout. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I miss Adrienne and Paul. Thankfully next week we’re headed back to the 90210, because I don’t know how much more I can take of the girls trying to guess whether Kim is back on the “sauce” or not.

– Andrew Gruttadaro

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