Sean finally proves he’s just as dumb as he looks, failing to see how ‘Tierra-ble’ Tierra is when she has her dramatic (fake) breakdown.
Tensions were high on the Jan. 28 episode of The Bachelor, as a group date of roller derby took a nasty turn when one of Sean Lowe‘s ladies face planted in a terrible accident. (That or one of the other girls pushed her, I can’t be sure.) Thirty seconds in to the first episode we get our first obligatory shot of Sean topless, and so it began!
Sean & Selma’s Private Date
Sean selected Selma for the first private date, and the other girls did the usual fake “ahhs” when she left to get ready. Sean took her on a private plane, then for a rock-climbing session in the Joshua Tree National Park. It’s never just dinner and a movie on The Bachelor, is it?
Wow Selma whines a lot. A date that involves heat, sunshine, anything outdoorsy is not her cup of tea. She managed to get up the rock, though, and she and Sean enjoyed the sunset, which was pretty cool. Sean then took her for a romantic trailer park date, but they sure didn’t look like the trailers from Teen Mom and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Selma was hesitant to kiss Sean for religious reasons, and there wasn’t a darn thing Sean could do about it. It’s weird that Selma is too conservative to kiss on the first date, yet she wears the tightest tops I’ve ever seen.
Sean seemed super frustrated, probably because he’s so dumb. Luckily for Selma, she still gets a rose!
Violent Roller Derby
My only knowledge of roller derby comes from Whip It!, and this date seemed about as violent and as competitive. Sean asked Tierra, Sarah, Jackie, AshLee, Catherine, Robyn, Amanda, and my personal favorite, Wedding Dress Lindsay, for a game of roller derby. And just like the volleyball last week, the girls sucked. They kept falling over! Plus, Sarah struggled with her physical disability, and the tears started to fall. Yawn.
Amanda got over zealous and took a nasty tumble — and the sound of her jaw whacking the ground was not for the feint hearted. She should have listened to Pat Benatar‘s warning: Love is a battlefield! Following some dramatics with the paramedics, Amanda was taken to hospital. After the accident, Sean made his first (and only) smart decision of the night, deciding the girls shouldn’t compete in roller derby, but instead just having some fun roller blading. Yeah, because roller blading is so fun…
Sean then took the girls to a romantic outdoor terrace for wine — there must always be wine! — and another awkward group date. Tierra’s disgust was obvious when Amanda returned, and Amanda decided to “milk her injury.” Play the game, girl!
While Sean had private time with Amanda, Tierra succeeded in annoying the other girls.
Tierra In Tears
Tierra showed her true colors when she had an extremely dramatic breakdown. She stormed off on the other girls, saying “I don’t trust anybody here.” Ugh! “I can’t take the fakeness from any of these girls any more” was another gem.
While Tierra was blubbering to what I assume was a production assistant, Sean was preparing to have some bikini time with Wedding Dress Lindsay — until they were interrupted by Satan herself. That hag stole Sean away from poor Lindsay!
While Tierra once again stole Sean away from one of her competitors, she had another fake breakdown. (Tierra is too jealous for this show.) Sean calmed her down and convinced her to stay by reminding her that she wants to spend more time with him. He is so cocky! Maybe they deserve each other.
Sean then proved he is literally the DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE by giving Tierra a rose. To say the other girls were pissed is an understatement! I am actually annoyed for them; they should walk right out.
Sean & Leslie’s Private Date
Sean then took Leslie H on a Pretty Woman-themed date, which is appropriate considering Leslie is whoring herself out for Sean’s love. They shopped on Rodeo Drive, and did some dancing in a store before Neil Lane made an appearance. (He loves cameoing on shows! Anyone remember him on 90210?) Leslie got an amazing necklace from his jewelry store to match the earrings she got earlier.
Sean and Leslie had a perfectly lovely but boring date, but they did NOT have the same romantic ending as Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, as Sean shoved Leslie in a limo, minus that all-important rose, because he decided they have no “romantic connection.”
At least Leslie got some diamond earrings and all those free clothes to take home with her! Sean then went to listen to some sappy music, where he dropped a rose off a balcony. In slow motion.
There was more alcohol at the rose ceremony, and the girls played the usual game of being competitive for alone time with Sean. So he made out with several of them. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.
Meanwhile, bitchy Tierra strutted around with her rose just to prove to the other girls that she was safe from being sent home. She talks a lot of smack, but I tuned out, to be honest…
At the rose ceremony, Sean sent home Amanda. (Another one bites the dust!) I felt kinda bad, considering she risked breaking her jaw to impress Sean, but I stopped caring about 30 seconds later when Amanda joined the trash heap with the other thousands of Bachelor rejects.
What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Did Sean make the right choice? Is Tierra even crazier than we assumed? Will wedding dress Lindsay ever get hot tub time with Sean?
— Eleanore Hutch
More Bachelor News:
- ‘Bachelor’ Recap: Volleyball Leads To A Dramatic Triple Elimination
- Sean Lowe Eliminated The Wrong Girl On ‘The Bachelor’
- ‘Bachelor’ Preview: A Roller Derby Date Ends With Tierra’s Breakdown