‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ Recap: The Kardashians Diss Kris Humphries

On the Jan. 20 series premiere of 'Kourtney & Kim Take Miami,' Khloe won't stop bugging Kim about her divorce. Plus, Kim and Kanye West share 'I love yous,' Mercy makes her first appearance and Scott surprises Kourtney. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian may have left their homes behind for an extended stay in Miami, but they brought some emotional baggage with them on the series premiere of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami on Jan. 20. Just when you think you've heard the last of "the Hump" and his barking, Kris Humphries has a way of popping himself back into the mix.

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Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Recap
Image Credit: E!

Khloe Harasses Kim About Her Divorce From Kris Humphries

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe arrive in Miami with Mason and Penelope in tow, ready to take control of their Miami store that’s clearly gone to the wayside. Unhappy with the direction the store is going, the girls plan on finding a new location and making over the entire DASH store, giving them a reason to film their spinoff. (How coincidental, no?)

It’s while they’re in the store that Kim gets a call from her divorce attorney. We’re not given the details of the call, but Kim seems unfazed, which alarms Khloe. In fact, Kim makes a bit of a joke about her divorce saying it’s “far from [being over.]”

After Khloe gossips about Kim’s past love life with a few DASH employees, she assigns family friend Jonathan Cheban to do some dirty work, asking him to question Kim about her divorce and why she’s been so quiet about it.

Kim gets pissed that Khloe is gossiping about her personal life and making such a big deal about it. Kim admits that she’s letting it go — she’s put Kris Humphries behind her and letting God take care of it. (Those are Kim’s words, just not verbatim.)

“I don’t know why you think I have to be so mad about this [divorce]… I have cried about this for months and months and months. At some point, I have to let it go,” Kim said to Khloe.

And just in case, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe smash dishes on their hotel balcony to release any negative energy Kris Humphries may have bestowed upon them.

Side note: Khloe advises Kim never to date anyone who barks like a dog.

Kim & Kanye West Say ‘I Love You’

While Kanye West is away recording his album in Hawaii, Kim is in Miami with his sisters. Being the loving boyfriend that he is, Kanye promises to send Kim something sweet to keep her company. Khloe assumes it will be a dildo, but it ends up being a tiny white Persian kitten! (Unfortunately, we all know how this story plays out.)

Kim calls Kanye to thank him for the kitten. (We can’t hear his voice, but subtitles are placed instead. Is there a chance he refuses to be audio recorded for the series?) He asks her to name it Mercy, after his hit song, and she loves it.

Before Kim and Kanye hang up, they both say “I love you” to each other. So sweet.

Kourtney Has No Faith In Scott

If anyone remembers the summer of 2010, when Scott punched a mirror, shoved a $100 bill in a waiter’s mouth and seeked professional help, then you know Miami is a danger zone for Scott Disick. However, three years is a long time, and Scott has proven himself since then.

Unfortunately, Kourtney isn’t so quick to forget the past and initially bans Scott from coming to Miami. She’s afraid that the nightlife may sway him back into his bad habits.

Seeing how overwhelmed Kourtney is with two kids, Kim secretly urges Scott to come to Miami. He shows up, but Kourtney is hesitant to be happy about his arrival.

Scott spends all of his time playing with Mason (which is super cute), but it’s a night with Khloe and Kim that puts him to the test. They get drunk and ridiculous and ask Scott for a ride to the pizza joint. Being the good brother-in-law that he is (Yes, I know he’s not married to Kourtney, but paper shmaper. I’m calling him her husband.), Scott drives them around town. The girls take advantage of Scott and make him go to various stores with them until he gets annoyed and calls Jonathan to take over.

Scott returns home to an unhappy Kourtney. She assumes he was out partying and is using his “chauffeur” story as an alibi.

I guess all is forgiven, because the next day Scott and Kourtney are talking normally and she surprises him by shipping his corvette to Miami.

What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers? Should Kim’s family stop bugging her about her divorce? Don’t you wish Kris would just sign the papers? How long do you think this divorce is really going to go on for? Sound off below!

Plus, in light of the Kardashians breaking dishes to vent their frustrations over Kris Humphries, I thought it’d be appropriate to listen to Rihanna’s “Breakin’ Dishes.” You’re welcome.

— Chris Rogers

More ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ news:

  1. ‘KKTM’ Preview: Khloe Kardashian Discusses Lying About Abortions
  2. ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ Season Preview: Kourtney Threatens To Fire DASH Staff
  3. ‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’: A Violent Kardashian Fight — Watch