Gary Shirley Keeping Leah From Amber Portwood Is Damaging

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Gary may think he’s protecting baby Leah by keeping her from seeing Amber behind bars, but experts tell HollywoodLife.com he’s actually doing more harm than good. Do YOU think Leah should visit her mom in jail? Read on for more details.

Poor baby Leah! The three-year-old hasn’t seen her mom, Amber Portwood, since she was sentenced five years behind bars in June 2012 for violating probation. And recently in an emotional interview with Dr. Drew Pinksy — from prison — the Teen Mom star revealed that her baby daddy, Gary Shirley, won’t let her daughter visit her! While Gary may think he’s doing the right, experts tell HollywoodLife.com this can be very damaging for little Leah.

“These are the years where the bonding takes place; where she integrates her mother as an object of permanence and as a role model,” Dr. Jeff Gardere, chief contributor to HealthGuru.com tells HollywoodLife.com. “It it is important for a mother and child to have a relationship. Today, bringing children into jail for visitation is not as damaging as it once was. They have certain areas designated for child visitation.”

And another expert agrees, adding that Leah’s potential anger or sadness will eventually come out either now — or when she’s older.

“The truth is that if a parent protects their child from the truth, they are only prolonging whatever reaction they predict will be there and in fact make it larger. The longer this little girl is ‘protected’ from the truth of who and where her mother is, the larger a deal will be when she finally finds out. And she will eventually find out because it’s the truth of her life and eventually the truth shows itself no matter what,” top parenting expert Dr. Phil Dembo tells HollywoodLife.com. “If Gary wants to help the development of his daughter, he would ease her into visits with her mother, keeping the story as neutral as possible and the visits and contact as ritualized as possible.”

Amber broke down in tears during her interview with Dr. Drew and revealed that she feels neglected by her family.

“I’ve sent papers to Gary to sign twice so he could bring Leah to see me, but he hasn’t done that. It makes me feel like I don’t even matter; I never mattered,” she told Dr. Drew.

Dr. Jeff Gardere says that Amber should seriously consider reaching out to legal authorities about this.

“She needs to take legal action. I don’t know the exact custody agreement but she needs to speak with the father civilly and appeal to human decency and their personal relationship. They need to consider the mental health of Leah,” tells HollywoodLife.com.

Amber is locked up in Indiana’s Rockville Correctional Facility for up to five years.

What do YOU think, Hollymoms? Do YOU think Gary should be taking Leah to visit Amber in jail? Vote and weigh in below!

– Reporting by Sandra Clark & Nicole DeBari, written by Nicole Karlis

More on Amber Portwood’s Prison Sentence:

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I don’t live in the USA, but where I come from, you can only screw up so many times before your child/children are taken from you. Did she not sign over sole custody to Gary, before she lost it?? I know how important a parent/child relationship is, but sometimes there comes a point where it is more beneficial to NOT have that relationship, for the child’s well being.

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i think amber just lost her temper and got into a fight with garry i mean all realshinships have there problems and it was a 1 off but garry reported it and now keeping LEAH AWAY FROM HER MUM IS SO MEAN HOW COULD YOU DO THAT I MEAN I DONT LIKE MY MUM BUT IF I GOT TOLD THAT I COULDENT SEE HER ANYMORE I WOULD BE SO UPSET AND I AM LIKE 13. LEAH NEEDS HER MUM AT HER AGE SHE IS SO YOUNG
AND YET SHE HAS HAD A PARENT TAKEN AWAY FROM HER IT JUST MAKES ME SICK!!!!!!!!

And how is it better to make a young child think that mommy doesnt love her anymore, doesn’t want to see her. its a horrible thingto do to a child. he’s being selfish again. and it’s not fair on either mother or daughter. lest you forget. Gary wasn’t exactally the worlds best father for the first couple of years of her life, so i’d say this makes them about even.

He’s more hurt than anybody. He’s not telling her “MOMMY DOESN’T LOVE YOU”. He’s protecting his daughter. No matter what either one did in the PAST, should that child visit in prison? NO! What good will that do “LEAH”? She is the focus. Not Amber. It is what is best for THE CHILD! Not what’s best for the childish parents.

And how is good for the child to not see her mother! yes their being selfish, but life is made up of selfish requests. Keeping Leah away from her mother, or any child away from their parents is the most heart retching thing you can do. She’s a child, just make up a pretend story until she will be old enough to accept the truth and understand it.

She is a horrible person. I’m proud of Gary for keeping Lea away from her

Leah*

how can you say she’s horible when you don’t know her. If she feels that this was a better decision for her, then you can’t actually judge. He shouldn’t be keeping a child away from her mother, if she obviously want to see her. I won’t be a hypocrite and say that i’m not making judgments on him because i will; he’s being a selfish. If she’s making a concious effort to see her daughter, costody or not, he shouldnt be denying his daughter of her mother, jail sentence or not

He’s protecting his daughter. What good will come out of Leah visiting her? It would be for her, not the child. He doesn’t want to see his daughter cry later. Maybe he’s just waiting a bit. Smart Garry!

the custody agreement is that she signed her rights away. so she has no say. I do think leah should see her mother though. If he doesn’t make the effort, Leah may resent him for it later.

i think tha gary should be taking his daughter to see her mother.. if you guys that disagree were in ambers shoes yall would realize.. yeah its ambers fault for being where she is today but it is not leahs fault.. idc if leah is only 3 she knows she hasnt seen her mother and she knows it is not right.. she should being good to see her mother. and she will apperciate it in the long run when she is actually able to understand why her mommy is there.. amber made a mistake just like everyone else has.. i just hope she has learned her lesson

having taken my friends daughter to see her locked up has scared me for life. I don’t think you understand what its like, it’s heartbreaking and cruel! Gary’s doing right here. she should have thought of the consequences before beating her man and breaking probation

Leah should be visiting her mother on a regular basis! Why isn’t Gary getting parenting tips from an expert. REALLY WRONG AND IGNORANT FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED!!!!!

Leah Should Not See Her Mother At All, She Shouldn’t Be Traumatized Anymore than she is Now. Amber Is a Poor Role Model For Leah. Leah Is Better Off With her Father. He’s Taking Better Care of Her.

I feel pretty strongly about this because I have seen it play out. I think if Gary got some professional advice and could see that this is about Leah far more than Amber and that the benefits far outweigh the risks, he’d come around. I think it might be best at first for someone besides Gary like hers or Gary’s mom to take her because of their conflicts. Leah has suffered trauma and needs all the support she can get

you cant keep a child from her mother its unhealthy and can damage the child more than is necessary! amber is gettin herself together so how can it be good for leah and amber to be kept apart it will only make things worse in the long run! leahs welfare now and in the future should be the main priority, bein kept away from her mother is not the answer

I disagree. That child is right where she belongs. This is a PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE PERSON! Her mother CHOSE THIS PATH FOR HER DAUGHTER! She doen’t need to be in a PRISON! I hate that Jeff guy. He’s not bright.