Plus, two major characters find themselves on the wrong end of a gun. Find out who bit the bullet this week!
Here’s my first question about this week’s True Blood: Where has this episode been all season? Not only did the thousands of story lines finally start to connect Aug. 5, but even the really ridiculous ones — I’m looking at you, fire/smoke monster — became awesome. You know who didn’t became awesome, though? Bill (Stephen Moyer). He still kind of sucks.
Oh, where to begin?
The gang of hillbilly hunters — now known as “the Obamas” — was revealed to be Bon Temps’ own version of the KKK this week, but their whole plan came crashing down when Sookie (Anna Paquin) visited Sheriff Dearborn to ask about her parents’ death. It turns out he really doesn’t know anything about Warlow, but Sookie did learn the sheriff and his new/gross bride “Sweetie” shared the role of Klan Dragon. (Cue the crazy bitch with the frying pan knocking Sookie out from behind!)
Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and the rest of the police force — who I still think deserve their own Bon Temps 911! spin-off — crashed the barn guns-blazing, and they came with reinforcements. Naked reinforcements! While Sam (Sam Trammell) fought off the goons with some clothing-optional karate action, Andy (Chris Bauer) had the super-fun job of killing the old sheriff. It was sad watching him go down, but knowing he was in the KKK definitely lessened the hurt. Elsewhere, super-naked Luna (Janina Gavankar) chased down “Sweetie” and beat the living sweetness out of her. It sort of looked like a classic Luna love scene, but less sexy and more punch-y.
Meanwhile, Terry (Todd Lowe) and Arlene (Carrie Preston) were up to their ears in ridiculous CGI — I mean, “Ifrit” drama. Patrick (Scott Foley) held Arlene hostage and tried to shoot Terry, but thanks to some quick thinking-slash-stabbing from Arlene, they managed to turn the tables. After a bullet to Patrick’s brain, the crazy ghost chick lifted the curse and Ifrit flew in to clean up Patrick’s remains. This story line became cool this week, but it feels done, so can it be over now? Please and thank you!
Then there was this week’s Authority action: Salomé (Valentina Cervi) and her magical breasts of persuasion told Bill he was chosen to lead the revolution with her, causing him to turn his back on Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) — yet again! He also had some crazy sex with Salomé, which led to a vision of him having sex with Sookie, then another vision of him having sex with Lilith. So it was basically a horrific orgy between two vampires, a god, and a fairy. You know, your run-of-the-mill Brothers Grimm tale.
Russell (Denis O’Hare) also exerted his authority over the Shreveport werewolves this week, paying them a little visit to congratulate J.D. on becoming packmaster — and also letting them suckle some tasty V from his wrist. But when our girl Martha said she didn’t want any sips, Russell snatched wee baby wolf Emma from her arms and gave her to Steve (Michael McMillian) as his “first pet.” It was messed up and sad, but also kind adorable: Cute puppy, cute Russell-Steve relationship, cute everything.
It really was brilliant the way all of story lines finally merged this week: The vampire revolution now involves the werewolves, which are tied to the shifters, who teamed up with humans to take down “the Obamas,” who also targeted Sookie, thus involving the fairies. This week’s only outsider story line was that of “Ifrit,” and as I said earlier, I really hope we’re done with all that noise.
Do you agree this was the best episode of the season? How do you feel about Bill siding with the Authority and turning on Eric? And how are you hoping this whole ‘civil war’ will play out? Drop me a comment with your thoughts and predictions below!
— Andy Swift
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