Plus, Sookie faces off against Pam — before making a major confession.
I don’t want to say nothing happened on the June 24 episode of True Blood, but I will say it was a relatively calm week in Bon Temps. The night did, however, set the stage for some pretty epic story lines to come, including the return of the fairies. (Yep, they’re back.)
Hurricane Tara (Rutina Wesley) continued her rampage through town, but totally choked when faced with her first potential victim — and yes, for all you 90210 fans, that was totally cousin Emily (Abbie Cobb) who almost became Tara’s dinner. The baby vamp eventually took shelter at Merlotte’s, but when life among the undead became too much for her to handle, she hightailed it to the nearest tanning salon, where we left her attempting suicide in a tanning bed. (That final scene brought back unsettling memories of THIS SCENE from Final Destination 3.)
As always, Pam (Kristin Bauer Van Straten) remained indifferent towards her brain-damaged baby. Not even a fairy jolt from Sookie (Anna Paquin) could take her mind off her own maker, whom she spent most of the episode remembering in flashbacks. She also showed off her incredible texting abilities — a vampire’s greatest skill, I think.
Meanwhile, Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric’s (Alexander Skarsgard) little Authority Party took a sexy turn when Salome — not to be confused with salami, which is a delicious deli meat — had her ancient way with both captive vampires. As Rosalyn (Carolyn Hennesy) put it oh-so well, “That’s a sandwich I’d take a bite out of anytime.” Then, just to prove she’s a super slut, Salome (Valentina Cervi) also took Roman (Chris Meloni) to bed. Triple-meat sandwich!
We also got our first look at the faeries of season five when Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) encountered Claude (Giles Matthey) and tracked his scent — which she described as cotton candy, fresh-baked bread and f***ing sex — to an empty field. (For a sneak peek at what’s to come with the fairies this season, check out my interview with Camilla Ludington, who plays Claude’s other sister Claudette.)
Meanwhile, Jessica’s “f**k buddy” Jason (Ryan Kwanten) reunited with his own Mrs. Robinson, the former teacher who literally taught him to be the sexpert he is today. But instead of enjoying himself, Jason realized that a life of sex has been a huge mistake. Maybe our little boy really is growing up!
Other plot points worth discussing, but not at great length:
*** Sookie, once again reminding us all how dumb she is, told Acide (Joe Manganiello) that she killed Debbie after her parents came looking for their daughter.
*** Terry (Todd Lowe) skipped town, but couldn’t tell Arlene (Carrie Preston) where he was going, why he was leaving, or how long he’d be gone. Sketchy?
*** Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) is the new Nan Flanagan, which I fully support. Especially if he keeps making amazing faces like this one!
*** And lastly, it looks like Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) still has Jesus’ family demon inside of him. Before seeing the demon’s face in the mirror, he almost poisoned an entire batch of gumbo at Merlotte’s.
What’s your take on this week’s snoozer? Was Sookie an idiot for telling Alcide about Debbie? Do you think Pam will come to Tara’s rescue? And can we all agree that Russell Edgington needs to recover, like, yesterday? Drop a comment with your thoughts and theories.