'90210' Recap: Little Escort Annie Saves The Day!

The Nov. 15 episode of ‘90210’ was all about scandals: political, sexual, and in Liam’s case — beautiful.

It took Annie (Shenae Grimes) a few weeks, but she finally realized something about herself on the Nov. 15 episode of 90210: She is a prostitute. I’m not sure what her first clue was — maybe it was when Patrick literally handed her a $10,000 check in exchange for sex — but I’m glad she’s aware that her life has come to this.

I’d say I’m worried about my girl Annie, but at this point I’m convinced she can literally do anything without any real consequences. (Remember when she killed that guy after prom? Yeah, neither do the police.) Besides, she’s only whoring it up so she can pay for her brother’s rehab. Without her help, his crippling addiction to ADHD medication will probably leave him dead. And incredibly well-focused.

Following last week’s impromptu hookup, Dixon (Tristan Wilds) finally asked Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) the million-dollar question: “Are we a couple, or did you just have sex with me to keep me away from drugs?” So romantic.

Dixon got into a little fight with Annie after she told Adrianna to stay away from him (once a pill-popping pregnant teen ho always a pill-popping pregnant teen ho, right Annie?) and it quickly occurred to the girls that he was still using. So it was off to rehab for Dixon, but not before Adrianna totally dumped him.

I have to admit I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about Adrianna this season. We’ve seen her drug-crazy, we’ve seen her pregnant-crazy, and we’ve seen her suicide-crazy. But we’ve never seen her… normal. It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.

Navid (Michael Steger) was M.I.A. this week, but that’s OK, because Silver (Jessica Stroup) had her hands full with Teddy (Trevor Donovan). The video of his mock wedding to Shane (Ryan Rottman) was leaked to the media, making his conservative uncle look bad, and helping Moesha win the big election.

Putting her journalistic skills to good use, Silver figured out Mo’ was the one who leaked the tape herself, even though she knew Silver had sent it to her by accident. For whatever reason, Silver then decided it would be a good idea to come clean to Teddy and apologize — and, as expected, the life-sized Ken doll was pretty pissed.

Hey, I’m just glad this apology didn’t involve Silver lighting a garbage can on fire. (Season one memories, y’all!)

Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord) did a little charity work this week, helping sorority sister Alana land herself a nerd. Because, honestly, who knows more about banging bookworms than Miz Clark? Her plan got a little derailed when Alana’s knight in socially awkward armor turned out to be after Naomi instead of her, but like all of Naomi’s sexcapades, it all worked out in th end.

Austin (Justin Deeley) needs to stop being mad at Naomi and come back to Beverly Hills already. Hopefully he’ll realize he’s not doing anyone any good by sulking from a fully-clothed distance. You hear me, cowboy?!

And as always, I’ve saved the most beautiful for last. Liam (Matt Lanter) discovered that pretty people can also have problems this week, when the president of his modeling agency wouldn’t let him get behind the wheel of a race car. In fact, she wouldn’t let him do anything fun — including rock-climbing! I mean, I’ve never actually seen Liam rock climb before, but it would be nice for him to have the option.

To spite Lucinda Nicholson — I know that’s not who Dina Meyer is supposed to be playing this time around, but I’m sticking with my theory that she’s simply living under a new alias — Liam and Teddy snuck into the racetrack for a little man-date, which was cut tragically short by the po-po. Liam sprained his ankle trying to hop the fence, and now his punishment is having to pose for the cover of a romance novel.

That’s bad news for Liam, but it’s great news for the viewers… and for all those middle-aged cougars who read at a fifth-grade level.

— Andy Swift

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P.S. Raj (Manish Dayal) is cancer-free, but it’s still only a matter of time before Ivy (Gillian Zinser) bangs her hot photo teacher. Mark my words, America. Mark my words…