Congrats, Kim, on marrying Kris Humphries. But remember once your Royal Wedding is over, there’ a real life of marriage starting – off camera I hope. Here’s the 10 Must Dos if you want it to last. read this or else….
Now what are my credentials for dishing out this definitive Dos and Don’ts list for making your marriage a keeper? Well Kim, I’ve been married to my first husband Michael for 28 years, we have four kids and we’re still talking.
(New report: Kim is filing for divorce from Kris — Click here for the full story!)
Now follow these culled from experience Top 10 Tips For Making Your Marriage Last Forever!
#1) Spend As Much Time Together As Possible: You both have extremely busy lives and careers which necessitate that you both travel a lot. But you need to make extra efforts to take time to be together.
When it comes to a long-term relationship – separations and distance do NOT make the heart grow fonder. Instead, they can make you become emotionally distant from each other.
When you have time together, you can share your thoughts, feelings and just as important — experiences together. And shared experiences are a real emotional binder for husbands and wives. When you experience too much away from your mate, you lose a key bond that brings you together. And the more intertwined your lives are, the closer you and your man will feel.
#2) Don’t Let Your Family Tear You Apart! I repeat — Do NOT Let Your Family Tear You Apart! I repeat this Kim, because you are so close to your family — which is wonderful — but when you get married, your husband needs to come first.
You have a VERY strong mother, Kris Jenner, who is also your business manager AND you have two very nosy and outspoken sisters — Khloe and Kourtney.
As much as you love them, you aren’t married to them. And you are now starting your own family with Kris. If you don’t make his feelings and needs your top priority — along with your own — your marriage will be doomed. Kris cannot be #2, or #3 on your priority list.
#3) Do Allow Each Other To Pursue Your Own Career & Personal Passions. Don’t Hold Each Other Back!
Even if you spend a lot of time together, it’s hugely important to support each others’ ambitions and to help enable them. Neither you nor Kris will be happy in your relationship if you feel held back or suffocated because one of you won’t let each other build their careers.
As a husband and wife you should be each others top cheerleaders. Kim, be proud of Kris’ basketball career and literally cheer him on at as many of his games as possible. Kris, appreciate that you have such an ambitious and hard-working wife and do walk the red carpet with her and yes, appear in her shows if you don’t mind.
All of that, will give you more time and shared experiences together too!
#4) Do have kids! Kim, you’ve said you love being an aunt to baby Mason and you want to be a mom, so… DO IT!
You don’t need to get pregnant on your wedding night, but if you want kids, don’t wait for years.
There’s the fertility issue. We all know now that a woman’s fertility takes a dive after age 35, so if you want to have two or three kids, you can’t wait TOO long to get started.
Plus, having children adds so much love and shared emotion to your marriage. Kids make you a family and Kim, you come from a big family so you’re used to having all the busyness, warmth AND chaos that that brings. You’ll love it!
#5) Share Your Money! Sure you have a pre-nup and you both make loads of dough. Kim, you probably make more than Kris. But so what!
While you are married — hopefully forever — have a very generous shared bank account. When you’re married, what yours and his, should be both of yours. Unless Kris proves to be an irresponsible and proliferate spender, do NOT count pennies. Do NOT worry about what he buys — his clothes, his cars, his hobbies. It’s not like you’re not enjoying spending money, too. Relax and share!
Kim – I can tell you, that for almost all of my marriage, I’ve been the major family breadwinner and have NEVER questioned what my husband spends money on. Apparently one of the biggest areas couples fight about is money and we’ve never fought once — so take my advice.
#6) Turn The Film Recording Cameras Off & Have Private Downtime: You need time ALONE! Private time. No cameras. No mother. No sisters. Just you and Kris.
Time for you and Kris to talk, snuggle, have fun in bed, lie around, watch TV and even cook together. Every couple needs downtime together to just BE together, relaxing … in sweats … no makeup.
#7) Do Not Be Afraid To Fight & Bicker! Every couple does it. Or should I say — every successful couple does it. You can’t keep everything bottled up inside.
Pouting, sulking and the silent treatment are NOT an effective ways for resolving your differences. Again everyone does it a bit, but you have to intervene on yourself if you’re laying these tactics on Kris.
Better to yell and scream at each other for a few minutes and then when the steam is let off — talk it out!
#8) But do try to make up before bedtime! There’s nothing worse than giving each other the silent treatment while you lie awake all night. Done it and its a MAJOR drag!
No one gets a medal for holding out longer with an argument, so don’t be afraid to be the first one to reach out and apologize. If you want to stay married, you have to make up. Try to do it as soon as you can.
#9) Remember to compliment each other — Do NOT take each other for granted!
Right now, you’re in the “honeymoon” phase of your relationship and you both are probably very conscious of making each other feel special and wanted — giving each other gifts, affection and compliments.
But when it’s year #5 or year #15 — you have to keep on remembering to make each other feel as special as you do right now!
#10) Do NOT Put Your Mother Kris, Ahead of Your Husband Kris! I know , I said this earlier but in your case, with your family, it bears big repeating!
Your mom is used to interfering — mostly in a positive way — in your life. But she needs to dial it back and consider your relationship with Kris. I bet Khloe’s had to draw boundaries now that she’s married, too.
If you want your marriage to be a loving forever one — Kris, your husband, has to be the first one you turn to, to share your excitement, your insecurities, your hopes, your dreams. And he has to do the same with you.
You guys truly need to be BFFs as well as lovers to last a lifetime.
Hope you heed my been-there, done that and still-married advice Kim. All my best to you and Kris for a wonderful wedding and a madly-in-love marriage!
Now Hollywoodlifers — how about adding in your advice to Kim and Kris, below! Thanks!
— Bonnie Fuller
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