Meet our latest HollyBaby bloggers, Sarah & Neil, a newly pregnant couple who are ready to share their ‘we’re expecting’ experiences with you via a She Said/He Said.
There has always been a debate between couples involving the happy, but dreaded, pregnancy announcement and HollyBaby.com‘s parents-to-be, Sarah Main and Neil Eggleton, are no exception. While one tried to hold out, the other might have let the happy news slip to just a few people. Read on to see what ensued!
Following several visits to the OB/GYN (pregnancy doctor to the less initiated), the tests confirmed the presence of a new life in the belly of my wife, and a flickering of pixels gave an indication of a heartbeat there too. We knew we were pregnant – now who else to tell, and in what order?
If you read the books, the advice on when to start telling your family and friends will range from the end of the first trimester (8th – 13th week), through the second trimester (when she begins to show and you can’t deny it any longer). Between the two of us, we developed a plan to inform friends and family… and then we completely disregarded it.
The plan was to tell her family in person when we went on a family vacation during the ninth week, and I was to tell my family shortly afterwards. We would then tell our friends at some point thereafter. However, the policy was going to be that if somebody asked, we would confess the truth.
The plan started to go a little off the rails when Sarah went to her sister’s graduation in San Francisco in her 8th week. She came back to announce that the happy news had slipped out during a quiet family meal. But the rest of the plan was still on track, I’d send an email to my family during the vacation then tell friends after.
It was sitting in the departure lounge as we tried to add the details to the who and when that I realized the extent of my disillusion:
“So how do we tell Seanna?” (her life-long best-friend)
“Um, I might have mentioned something to her over the phone last week!”
“And what about Dre, (best friend in New York)?”
“Yeah, I think I slipped something into conversation over coffee on Tuesday”
“Kate (colleague)?” – check.
“Random strangers in planes, on subways, in coffee shops?”
As it turned out, these people were the easiest to tell, and a real form of release for my wife, where the reality of being pregnant didn’t have to be hushed up and she could enjoy being a pregnant woman.
So I now have some catching up to do, to let my family and friends back home know, before things start slipping out in the rumor mill and on Facebook.
So in the heat of pregnancy, our best-laid plans have gone slightly awry; however I’m learning that this is the rule rather than the exception, and this in itself will be good preparation for the time to come.
I’m really good at keeping secrets, but that only applies to OTHER peoples’ secrets. When it comes to my life I’m an open book. Get a bottle of wine in me and I’m basically an informational pamphlet on What’s Going On in the World of Sarah.
So when Neil and I discussed keeping the pregnancy a secret for a while I kind of agreed with my fingers crossed. I mean there are people you HAVE to tell: Your trainer at the gym. Your hairdresser. Your doctor. Guy in 18D sitting between you and a bathroom on a six hour flight.
So I wasn’t really sure why Neil got so upset when I slipped a dozen few more people in that category. I mean our cleaning lady really did have the right to know, right? Needless to say when given the Spanish Inquisition of “Who Did You Tell!?” I was still less than forthcoming. I just wanted to tell people that I, Sarah Main, was growing a human being inside me (sounds kind of gross when you say it like that huh?)
When you’re pregnant you want to feel like you are the only one in the whole world who is doing this amazing thing. I promise I wont say this much, but I honestly think it’s just one of the things you wont get until it happens to you. I know the press release sent out over the wire was overkill, but I just couldn’t stop myself! (Ok, I didn’t really go THAT far).
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