Is it bad manners to invite your ex to your nuptials?
Reese Witherspoon is going to the chapel and going to get married…for a second time. But when the Water For Elephants weds agent Jim Toth in Ojai, Calif. March 26, one very important person won’t be present: ex-husband (and baby daddy) Ryan Phillippe. Should Reese have invited Ryan, or is sending an invitation indicating she’s officially moved on improper etiquette?
Although we can’t possibly know what goes on behind closed doors, to the naked eye, Reese and Ryan have a completely civil relationship. Although they’ve been divorced for four years, they were married for eight and have two children together, Ava and Deacon. One would think they could play nicely.
Except, they aren’t. When the Southern belle ties the knot for a second time this weekend, her ex won’t be present…because she didn’t invite him! But should she have?
The simple answer to this question is: YES. I think it’s actually a bit odd that Reese, who, as a good Southern gal always does the right and proper thing, didn’t invite her ex-husband. It isn’t as if, four years later, Ryan is still pining for her. He is still part of her extended family, at the end of the day, and an invitation would have been courteous. Obviously, he wouldn’t have had to accept, but the gesture of good intentions would still have been there.
My advice doesn’t just apply for celebrities. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation and the guy didn’t do something truly horrible to you (like cheat), it keeps the peace. Mind, this sort of situation only applies if you have kids. If you’re not friends with an ex and have nothing binding you together, clearly don’t bother inviting him to the wedding — that just looks like sour grapes! But if you do see him on a regular basis, or you’re friendly, or you have children, you should at least extend the invite requesting his presence when you say, ‘I do’ again.
The worst (or best, depending on how you look at it) your ex can do would be to decline, but that’s all on him. At least you’ll be secure in the knowledge that you’ve done the appropriate thing — just as you’ll be secure that YOU are the one who’s moved on and found love again.