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EXCLUSIVE! An Insider Takes Us Through Lindsay's Bare Bones Rehab Facility

Tue, August 3, 2010 2:25pm EDT by 5 Comments


Promises in Malibu it’s not! Lindsay’s rehab at UCLA is stark, worn-down, strict and sanitary…definitely not a place anyone would want to live for three whole months!

Forget fancy recovery centers with ocean views and 24/7 service — Lindsay Lohan’s court-ordered rehab at UCLA’s Lynda Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital is stark, old and cold – like a stereotypical hospital with way more rules. Celebrity image expert Michael Sands has spent time visiting Lindsay’s new home away from home and gave an exclusive look inside what he describes as a “loony bin.”

First Impression:
“The first thing you see when you walk in the door is a see-through glass door. The security guard sits in the nurses’ station, which is surrounded by glass. They have cameras and TV screens. They have you on camera and ask you who you are. There are signs when you leave reminding you to watch who’s behind you, so that no one tries to sneak out.”

Waiting Room:
“On the right-hand side, there’s a room for visitors. There are tables and chairs and a little refrigerator. [However] psych techs, who are wearing regular clothes, sit there as well and monitor everything that happens. No friends can go to the back rooms, where people live. Everyone stays in the same area when they have patient visiting hours. This is not a hotel…they are very strict.”

Recreational fun:
“To the left of the visiting room is a room with a pool table. The table is older, and there’s hardly enough space to shoot a decent shot. There is one TV. It’s not a hotel. It’s a place where people get well. Everything is totally monitored. It’s a psychiatric hospital. It’s not the rehabs we’re used to. This is a full-blown psychiatric unit where they treat people for drug addiction.”

Computer Room:
“There is a room with about six computers that allows people to use the Internet; there are also phones available. You have to ask first to use anything, and you have to have a chaperon with you monitoring your every move. Phone calls are usually limited to about 10 minutes.”

Living Quarters:
“There is a floor for drug and alcohol rehab and then a floor for more seriously mentally ill patients. There are some rooms with two people and others with just one. Seriously, they are very boring, normal rooms. The paint is old. They have a dressers and a hang up space. It’s not fancy at all. It’s the essential bare minimum. Each room has it’s own toilet and shower. There are windows in the room but there are wires on them. It’s a locked unit. It’s a secure place…no one can get out.”

“There are very specific times for each meal. The food is made on the fifth floor. It’s just like hospital food. It’s not the greatest, but it’s like a five star restaurant next to the jail in Lynwood. They have different themes each day, like Mexican or what not.”

Fresh air:
“There are courtyards in the facility where the patients do some of their group treatments, but even those are blocked in and gated. There’s no getting out of there.”

–Kirstin Benson