Continue to Hollywoodlife () SKIP AD
Hollywood Life Logo Image

Hollywood Life

Today's Top Stories

  • Jonathan Bailey
    TV News

    ‘Bridgerton’ Season 2: What You Need To Know About When It’s Returning & More

  • Kate Middleton
    Makeover

    Kate Middleton Shows Off Long Hair Makeover As England's Lockdown Continues

  • kourtney kardashian
    SHOP

    This Clutch Looks Just Like The Bottega Veneta Purse Worn By Celebs & A 1/4 Of The Price

Hollywood Life
  • Home
  • News
  • Entertainment
  • Celebrity Bios
  • Beauty
  • Fashion
  • Shopping
  • Celebrity News
  • World News
  • Exclusives
  • Politics
  • Celebrity Babies
  • Opinions
ALL NEWS
  • sabrina

    Joshua Bassett Shows Love To Sabrina Carpenter After Dropping New Song: It’s ’Stuck In My Head’

  • Post Malone Tattoos & Their Meanings — See Pics

  • Harry Styles’ Girlfriend: Who The Star Is Dating Now, Plus His Full Relationship Timeline

  • Award Shows
  • At The Movies
  • TV
  • Music
  • Sports
  • Sex & Relationships
  • Holidays
  • Entertainment Features
  • Podcast
  • Oscar Contenders
ALL ENTERTAINMENT
  • Hunter Schafer

    What To Watch This Weekend: Perfect Weekend Binges — ‘Euphoria’ Special & More

  • Brynn Elliott Shares How ‘Imaged-Obsessed Culture’ & Soccer Inspired ‘Tell Me I’m Pretty’

  • ‘Bridgerton’ Season 2: What You Need To Know About When It’s Returning & More

  • Taylor Swift
  • Rihanna
  • Selena Gomez
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Kylie Jenner
  • Kendall Jenner
  • Justin Bieber
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Gigi Hadid
  • Khloe Kardashian
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Harry Styles
  • Kourtney Kardashian
ALL CELEBRITY BIOS
  • sabrina

    Joshua Bassett Shows Love To Sabrina Carpenter After Dropping New Song: It’s ’Stuck In My Head’

  • What To Watch This Weekend: Perfect Weekend Binges — ‘Euphoria’ Special & More

  • Post Malone Tattoos & Their Meanings — See Pics

  • Fragrance
  • Hair Care
  • Health
  • Makeup
  • Nails
  • Beauty Features
  • Skincare
  • Makeover
  • Diet & Fitness
ALL BEAUTY
  • face cream

    6 Anti-Aging & Sun Protecting Face Moisturizers You Need For The New Year

  • Over 12,000 People Swear By This $22 Natural Eye Cream That Removes Dark Circles & Bags

  • Kate Middleton Shows Off Long Hair Makeover As England’s Lockdown Continues: Before & After Pics

  • Red Carpet
  • Weddings
  • Fashion Features
  • Shopping
ALL FASHION
  • kourtney kardashian

    This Clutch Looks Just Like The Bottega Veneta Purse Worn By Celebs & Is Less Than 1/4 Of The Price

  • Stars Wearing Crop Tops During Winter — Pics Of Keke Palmer, Kendall Jenner & More

  • Khloe Kardashian Pops Her Backside While Modeling Good American Jeans In Hot New Pic

  • Share This Article
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • WhatsApp
  • Email
  • Print
  • Talk
Next Up

OMG! Bristol Palin’s ‘US Weekly’ Story Made Her $100,000!

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube
  • Newsletters
  • Search Close

Trending

  • Bonnie Says
  • Celeb Babies
  • TV
  • Celeb Galleries
Search

NewsExpand Menu

  • Celebrity News
  • World News
  • Exclusives
  • Politics
  • Celebrity Babies
  • Opinions
  • Rock The Vote

EntertainmentExpand Menu

  • Entertainment Features
  • TV
  • Award Shows
  • At The Movies
  • Music
  • Sports
  • Sex & Relationships
  • Podcast
  • At Home With...

BeautyExpand Menu

  • Fragrance
  • Hair Care
  • Health
  • Makeup
  • Nails
  • Skincare
  • Beauty Features
  • Diet & Fitness
  • Shopping

FashionExpand Menu

  • Red Carpet
  • Weddings
  • Fashion Features
  • Shopping

TrendingExpand Menu

  • Bonnie Says
  • TV
  • Celeb Galleries

About UsExpand Menu

  • About Us
  • Writer Bios
  • Scoops, Tips & Corrections
  • Subscribe To Newsletter
  • Contact Us

Celebrity ProfilesExpand Menu

  • Kim Kardashian
  • Kylie Jenner
  • Justin Bieber
  • Selena Gomez
  • Taylor Swift
  • Rihanna
  • Kendall Jenner
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Gigi Hadid
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Angelina Jolie
Follow Us
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube
  • Newsletters
Alerts & Newsletters
  • Jobs
  • Scoops & Corrections
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • AdChoices
  • Data Policy
  • Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© 2021 Penske Media Corporation
  • News
  • World News
July 17, 2010 6:36PM EDT

Do You Have An Abusive Man In Your Life Like Mel? Here's What Experts Advise!

Hollywood Life Staff
  • Share This Article
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • WhatsApp
  • Email
  • Print
  • Talk
Splashnews.com, Getty Images
Splashnews.com, Getty Images

Domestic abuse is no joke — you have to get out while you still can. Experts say it’s all about getting the power back from your abusive partner.

It’s been nothing but a physical and emotional battle for Oksana Grigorieva to get her life back after she split from ex Mel Gibson back in April 2010. Since she filed a restraining order against him in June, Mel has gone mad, repeatedly threatening her life. For her own safety, Oksana captured Mel’s disturbing words on tape as evidence of his erratic behavior in order to protect herself and their 8-month-old daughter Lucia. And experts say she made the right decision getting out and taking control of the situation. “The first thing you have to do [in a situation like this] is protect yourself and get help,” Pat Love, co-author of How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, explains to HollywoodLife.com:

Here are the steps experts suggest you take to get away from your abusive partner and get your life back in order:

  1. Get out while you still can. But be careful. “Getting out of an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time,” says Susan Forward Ph.D., therapist and author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. “She will end up in the hospital or the morgue if she doesn’t leave.”
  2. Leave when he’s not home: “She needs to pack her bags and get out when he’s not around,” Susan says. “If she leaves, she has a chance to get her life back.”
  3. Let the authorities know what’s going on: “Inform all legal resources, get yourself a lawyer, and tell people you could be in jeopardy,” Susan says. “Get the police involved. Don’t assume he won’t seriously injure you.”
  4. Get the power back into your hands: “[Oksana] recorded [the threats] and it gave her an awful lot of leverage. It was a power struggle,” explains Dr. Steven Stosny, author of Love Without Hurt. “Do what she did. Collect all the power you can.”
  5. Build a support system: “Form alliances, don’t isolate yourself, get as many people to help as you can,” Dr. Stosny says.
  6. Get therapy: “She’s got to get herself into therapy to figure out why she’s developed such a high tolerance for this treatment,” says Susan. “Women tend to internalize the blame. She’s not going to be able to put the pieces back together on her own.”
  7. Don’t see a male counselor: “You have got to have a therapist that understands the dynamics,” Susan says. “I don’t recommend a man. A man may be compassionate, but a woman would be a whole lot better.”
  8. Don’t go back. If he’s abusive, he will never change. “The statistics aren’t really encouraging” of a man changing his violent ways, Susan says. “The repeat rate even after therapy and batterers group is very high.”

A situation of domestic abuse like Oksana’s “is not something that goes away and something to take lightly,” Pat says.

And Dr. Stosny agrees: “Whenever someone is threatening their power over you, you have to protect yourself.”

Oksana made the right decision to get away from Mel and get the “power” back in her hands. Now hopefully she’ll become an example for other women to get out in enough time to save their lives.

— Lindsey DiMattina

Click to Subscribe to Our HollywoodLife Daily Newsletter to get more celeb news.
  • Share This Article
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • WhatsApp
  • Email
  • Print
  • Talk
Lucia Mel Gibson Oksana Grigorieva

Most Read

Joe Biden’s Oval Office Makeover: See How He Erased Donald Trump from White House – Before & After Pics

Joe Biden Oval Office

Gigi Hadid Finally Confirms Baby Girl’s Name 4 Months After Giving Birth

gigi

Chuck Schumer Says ‘Erection’ Instead Of ‘Insurrection’ On Senate Floor & No One Can Stop Laughing

Chuck Schumer

Khloe Kardashian Pops Her Backside While Modeling Good American Jeans In Hot New Pic

Khloe Kardashian

Britney Spears, 39, Dances In Black Crop Top & Short Shorts As Her Christmas Tree Shines

Britney Spears

Have news, pics or video on a breaking news story?

Send us your Tip

Have news, pics or video on a breaking news story?

Send us your Tip

More From Our Brands

  • Mark Consuelos Just Gave Kelly Ripa an Explicit Hint About Missing Their Sex Life
    SheKnows

    Mark Consuelos Just Gave Kelly Ripa an Explicit Hint About Missing Their Sex Life

  • Joe Biden’s Granddaughters Are ‘Friends’ With the Obama Sisters & Wow, Just *Imagine* their TikToks
    StyleCaster

    Joe Biden’s Granddaughters Are ‘Friends’ With the Obama Sisters & Wow, Just *Imagine* their TikToks

  • Fate: The Winx Saga Brings Animated Winx Club to Life on Netflix — But What's Different? And Who's Missing?
    TVLine

    Fate: The Winx Saga Brings Animated Winx Club to Life on Netflix — But What's Different? And Who's Missing?

  • Biden to Increase Food Benefits, Push Faster Stimulus Payments With Executive Orders
    Rolling Stone

    Biden to Increase Food Benefits, Push Faster Stimulus Payments With Executive Orders

  • Cardi B Teases New Neon Colorways of Her Hit Reebok Sneakers — Here’s When You Can Get a Pair
    FootwearNews

    Cardi B Teases New Neon Colorways of Her Hit Reebok Sneakers — Here’s When You Can Get a Pair

    HollywoodLife

    • About Us
    • Accessibility Statement
    • Advertise With Us
    • Careers
    • Scoops & Corrections
    • Contact Us

    Legal

    • Privacy Policy
    • California Privacy Rights
    • AdChoices
    • EU Privacy Preferences
    • Terms of Use
    • Data Policy
    • Do Not Sell My Personal Information

    News

    • Celebrity News
    • World News
    • Exclusives
    • Celebrity Babies

    Connect

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • YouTube
SheKnows Media - Entertainment
© Copyright 2021 HollywoodLife, LLC, a subsidiary of Penske Business Media, LLC.
Powered by WordPress.com VIP
ad