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WATCH! The Hot Beautiful Mess That Is Lady Gaga's 'Alejandro' Has Arrived!

Tue, June 8, 2010 2:18pm EDT by 4 Comments

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Get ready to be amazed — and super confused — at the 8 minute wonder that is Lady Gaga’s latest music video!

Check it out HollywoodLifers, the super long and super crazy video we have all been waiting for has finally arrived – Lady Gaga‘s “Alejandro.” We would love to break down the basic concept for you but to be totally honest we keep growing more and more confused every time we watch! Let’s just say get ready for men in heels, weapons of war, and an extreme lack of clothing!

We open on a man in fishnets and heels sitting at a table with some guns and maybe grenades. Typical so far. Maybe this guy is Alejandro, maybe not, needless to say we spend little time with him before we are introduced to a dancing troop of men in boxer briefs. Oh and they are also in torture device contraptions maybe. It’s all very deep we’re sure.

Then comes Gaga, looking a lot like Malificent, the evil witch in Sleeping Beauty. She’s carrying a heart and there’s a coffin behind her so we’re gonna guess this is Alejandro. She consoles herself by sitting in an abandoned, wall-free castle watching men in their underwear dance in the snow. They don’t look cold but I feel like they have to be. Or they don’t want to complain – Gaga looks super creepy and threatening.

Then they are all on cots having sex with the men in underwear and heels and Gaga in a bra and panties and this is cut in with Gaga in a red habit — the church is gonna love that — eventually swallowing an entire row of rosary beads. Then some bondage, some more barely clothed dancing, and the end. We won’t ruin the final shot for you.

Soooooooo, what did you think HollywoodLifers? I mean, the song seems to just be a repetition of the word “Alejandro” 800 times — and sounds just like Ace of Base’s “Don’t Turn Around” — but did you like the video? Or was it a WTF moment for you as well?

-Chris Spargo


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