Do your girlfriends ever give you positive – but utterly unhelpful – love advice? The gals on Gossip Girl are no different!
BFF’s Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) and Vanessa Abrams (Jessica Szohr) have finally taken their relationship to the next level (meaning, they’re doing the deed – repeatedly) on Gossip Girl this season, but naturally, they’re having a few problems because they’ve been stuck in the besties rut for way too long. Cue Dan’s ex, Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively), who puts the pressure on Vanessa to “keep the romance alive by trying new things.” But is this good advice? I don’t think so!
Shouldn’t their romance still be exciting because it’s so new? Going from friends to lovers is a big deal, and while I’ve never personally dated one of my friends, I can imagine how terrifying and exciting that might be. I needed to find out if I was right (or if Serena was) so decided to call an expert for help.
Not patting myself on the back here (much) but relationship expert Amy Levine says that Vanessa should stop listening to Serena! “There isn’t a set time when a couple should try new things—but if [Vanessa] feels they’re in a rut, do ONE thing differently to break out of the routine.”
“Letting your partner know you appreciate them goes a long way – and all it takes is helping out at home or doing something they don’t have time to do,” says Levine.
“It could also be making more creative plans like going to a new hot spot for dinner than the usual place down the street, or sending a love note via snail mail if you’re used to texting – or sexting for that matter.”
Bottom line? Says Levine of lovers who start off as best friends, “It’s generally the level of intimacy that shifts and becomes more intense. So what Vanessa doesn’t realize is that even though they are doing the same activities as before, they are connecting on a totally different level now that they are a couple.”
That’s right! Listen to me from now on, Vanessa. I may not have been there, done that, got the boyfriend (and best friend) to prove it, but I do know love….so gossip about that!
Have YOU ever dated your best friend? Tell us about it!
— Allison McNamara