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Tiger, You're A Joke! Here Are Seven New Gags About You!

Thu, December 3, 2009 3:00pm EDT by Add first Comment


Everybody’s poking fun at Tiger, the alleged cheetah!

Tiger Woods’ alleged affairs are definitely not funny (especially to his wife, Elin Nordegrin, we suspect) but that doesn’t mean America hasn’t been having some fun at his expense. Today’s NY Post cover is a prime example! So if you’re in the mood for a laugh, we’ve got a batch of zippy one-liners we think you’ll love. They’re the stuff late night talk show monologues are made of!

From the Vancouver Sun:

  1. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
  2. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
  3. Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
  4. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
  5. Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
  6. This is the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards
  7. Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

And even George Clooney is getting in on the fun! At the LA premiere of his new movie Up in the Air, a KABC reporter asked George if women have ever attacked him with a golf club. “You know what? As a matter of fact, yes, they have,” he answered. “I tell you what it was, a 7-iron — and it damn near killed me.”

And of course you remember John Mayer‘s tweet about Tiger that we reported yesterday: “I’ve got to finish boning my mistress early so that I can go home and explain to my kid that he’s lost a role model. What a shame.”