The third and final week of The X Factor auditions picked up in Providence on Sept. 27. As you know, the first five minutes of every episode are always devoted to making a big deal about the judges’ entrance — mainly because we need a reminder that they’re famous and we’re not — but tonight took the cake as, Simon Cowell rolled up on a motorized scooter complete with police escorts. (Oh, Simon.)

Starting Off Strong:

First up was Adonis and John, a couple of delusional thirty-somethings who referred to themselves as “The OG’s” (or “Original Greeks,” get it?) I was pretty convinced they were actors, as they took on “Hello” by Lionel Richie. They threw in a bunch of “yeahs” and “uhhs,” stuff those cool rap guys do. In fact, John’s sole job was to make the noises. But sadly, their fate was sealed with four no’s.

We were served up the montage of sucky people right off the bat, so you knew it was going to be a crazy night — complete with a robotic woman, a Flavor Flav wannabe, and a teenager who raided her dead grandfather’s closet.

But luckily, we were also introduced to 15-year-old Dinah Jane Hansen. She looked like she was easily 25, but it turns out that’s just the number of people who live under her roof. It was her first big audition and she absolutely slayed Beyoncé‘s ”If I Were A Boy.” L.A. Reid told her she “went to places Beyoncé didn’t even take it.” I don’t know about that, but I was happy she made it through.

(Sidenote: The X Factor has the best background music. One Direction? Selena Gomez? It really does warm my teeny-bopper heart.)

Second Chances:

Arin Ray, 16, was a familiar face from last season. If you remember, he was put in that monstrosity of a group, InTENsity, but came back as a solo artist this year. Demi Lovato was immediately attracted, but backed off when she realized he was underage. (“Oops!”) He decided to do an original song called “Count On Me,” which surprisingly wasn’t audition suicide, as it normally tends to be. Simon praised his growth and he got through with four yes’s.

We next witnessed a two-man group, One4Five, jump around and basically scream in Demi’s face. I’m also pretty sure one of the guys was wearing a Muppet Baby on his arm, but what do you know? Four yes’s!

They were followed by Changyi Li, a 52-year-old woman from China who must have thought she was auditioning for the role of Olive Oyl because she was dressed head-to-toe in a sailor costume. She sang the Celine Dion classic “My Heart Will Go On,” and to be honest, it was quite frightening. She was sent away.

Meanwhile, 26-year-old David Correy blew the judges away with his rendition of “Just The Way You Are.” Britney Spears actually TEARED UP, you guys. And of course, that immediately made me tear up. He was by far my favorite of the night — by far!

I Got You, Babe:

Next up was the boyfriend-girlfriend duo Jaime, who couldn’t keep their hands off one another. (I’m talking gag-worthy PDA.) They sang an original song called “Will You Be My Baby?” which was so beyond choreographed and awful. Simon hit the nail on the head with one word: “Corny.”

Tonight’s judgmental and I’m-t00-good contestant came in the form of vocal coach Tara Simon. She spent most of her time backstage doing push-ups and handing out unsolicited advice to fellow contestants. I really wanted her to be bad, but I was (sorta) impressed with her singing of “Without You,” after which she immediately broke down into tears. [Insert eye roll.]

Sophie Tweed-Simmons, 19, rolled up with her dad Gene Simmons next. (No big deal.) People were staring at them in line, and you could tell she was getting uncomfortable. She took on Bob Dylan‘s ”Make You Feel My Love” and it was decent. While L.A. gave her a no, the rest of the judges gave her a yes. (Sometimes it pays to have a creepy famous father, you guys.)

The final contestant of the night was Trevor Moran, 13, who became an internet phenomenon by lip-syncing and dancing in Apple stores under the moniker “iTrevor.” But he didn’t even make it to the stage! We saw him on the floor as the “To Be Continued…” card slid in. Dun. Dun. Dun.

What do you think, HollywoodLifers? Which was your favorite audition, and which ones made you cringe? Watch Sophie’s audition below, then drop us a comment:

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— Sharon Tharp

Follow @SharonTharp

More X Factor:

1. ‘X Factor’ Recap: Krysten Colon Throws A Fit After Being Told ‘No’
2. ‘X Factor’ Contestants Jessica, Diamond & Panda Embody The American Dream
3. ‘X Factor’ Recap: Chris Brown Singer Deangelo Wallace Gets Arrested