Hulk Hogan is ready to rumble… in court! The wrestling icon is threatening to sue anyone who posts his sex tape online, TMZ reports, as the tape was made “secretly without Hulk’s knowledge or permission.” Though stills from the encounter hit the web back in April, the actual footage didn’t pop up online until earlier this week — and it’s not your average sex tape.

Along with the usual song-and-dance of a sex tape, there are also moments of pure comedic gold, like when Hulk interrupts the love making to tell his partner that he feels “like a pig” because he ate too much food earlier. The Hulkster also gets a phone call during sex, which he assumes is from his son, Nick Hogan. Gross.

Bubba the Love Sponge

So far, Gawker.com is the only mainstream outlet that published actual footage, a disturbing minute-long exchange between Hulk and a mysterious woman with tons of self respect. Though the woman is never identified in the video, many believe her to be Heather Clem, the ex-wife of Hulk’s DJ friend Bubba the Love Sponge.

There’s also a man’s voice heard in the beginning of the video, saying, “You guys do your thing. I’ll be in the office if you need me.”

As disturbing as this may sound, many people believe that man to be Bubba himself, adding a new layer of awkwardness to this already-uncomfortable bit of cinema.

In short: Don’t publish the video if you don’t want to get sued. And don’t watch the video unless you want to have nightmares.

More celebrity sex tape news:

1. Kim Kardashian Made Sex Tape For Fame, Sources Say
2. Kendra’s Sex Tape Partner REVEALED! Could It Be Splitting Hank & Kendra Apart?
3. Kanye West Watched Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape With Other Women — Report

He filed for a marriage license last month, and reports are circulating that tonight is Hulk and Jennifer’s big walk down the aisle!

It’s supposed to be an intimate ceremony, but looks like the rest of the world is now in on Hulk Hogan’s wedding to fiancée Jennifer McDaniel.

TMZ.com is reporting the Hulkster, 57, will marry his 35-year-old girlfriend Dec. 14 at the Hogan compound in Clearwater, Florida. The walk down the aisle is happening at sunset, in front of close friends and family (including the kids Brooke and Nick Hogan). Shockingly,  his ex-wife is reportedly not invited.

Dr. Michael Beckwith, an L.A. spiritual advisor, will perform the ceremony. This will be Hulks’ second marriage.

–Jenna Mullins