During the Dec. 3 episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I started to drift off and think about how different things would be if everyone got along. Would Lisa Vanderpump and Adrienne Maloof bury the hatchet and become BFFs again? Would Taylor Armstrong throw Brandi Glanville and Adrienne a book launch party where all of the girls would come together to celebrate their individual success? As I started to ponder the possibilities, I quickly snapped out of it. This is Beverly Hills, after all, and frankly the thoughts of “Kumbaya” were starting to bore me. Reality struck in as I recalled a famous Joan Crawford quote: “You have to be self-reliant and strong to survive in this town. Otherwise, you will be destroyed.”

Ojai was definitely the calm before the storm, and I think all parties have moved past “shut the F up gate.” I love the irony and contradiction that transpires in this group; you just can’t make this stuff up. I thought Ojai was a trip that Kim Richards organized to celebrate her sobriety? I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t accept an invitation to celebrate a friend’s sobriety and then get wasted in front of her face! Think of how messed up that is! Seriously people, WTF? Who does that? In this case, it was alcohol, but does that make it OK? People struggle with all kinds of addictions, but that doesn’t mean you celebrate their sobriety by indulging — excessively, I might add — in their drug of choice RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE! It was totally inappropriate to get drunk at Kim’s sobriety celebration. Period.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a good time, as long as it doesn’t involve a subconscious bitch slap. There were many things I could have gone without seeing in Ojai but I won’t even go there. I will say the thing I enjoyed most was watching Lisa have a good time. It was fun to see her let loose and she did so with class. Speaking of class, Yolanda Foster‘s comments about the absurdity of the girl’s behavior me laugh. Again, irony mixed with contradiction never disappoints. It is interesting to watch Yolanda find her way with the girls; she seems a bit more cautious than Brandi was last season. I like that Brandi is unpredictable, though, it makes the show fun to watch.

While this episode was all fun and games, the limo ride back to BH hinted that all does not end well. The fun times quickly faded away into the bright sunset of Ojai, as the impending drama was bursting at the seams. It’s back to business in Beverly Hills next week, so be sure to tune in, sit back and let the games begin! Oh, and don’t forget what Joan Crawford said about this town — because next week’s episode proves that not much has changed!

Kim Richards Talks Bitter Fight With Kyle Richards On Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

— Marisa Zanuck

Hello, my beautiful HollywoodLife.com readers. As I departed Paris a few days ago, I thought about what was in store for me when I returned to Beverly Hills. I was leaving one magical city for another, but they are very, very different. Beverly Hills is a unique city, so surreal, mysterious and enchanting. The streets are lined with palm trees, perfectly manicured lawns and glorious estates hidden by massive gates. Growing up in Beverly Hills, I felt as though I lived in a fantasyland where everything was picture perfect, but I can tell you first hand that looks can be deceiving. As the saying goes, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Hidden behind the gates is a world full of lies, deceit, betrayal and drama, which is the perfect segue to the Nov. 26 episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Lisa Vanderpump and Adrienne Maloof are two very strong and successful women who made their dreams of living in Beverly Hills a reality. Perhaps I am a bit jaded because I was never drawn to the perceived lifestyle that Beverly Hills represents. I was born into it, so it was never my goal in life to grow up and live that dream. Both Adrienne and Lisa worked very hard to make their Beverly Hills dreams come true, and frankly, that is not an easy task.

My point is that these women are used to getting what they want and will do whatever it takes to make it happen. When it comes to friendships and relationships, however, this single-minded determination can create issues that are beyond repair. As I watched Adrienne and Lisa’s sit-down, it occurred to me that they can’t make up. In the fantasyland that is Beverly Hills, Lisa and Adrienne have become Alexis and Krystle from Dynasty. For those of you too young to remember Dynasty, it was a hit soap opera produced by Beverly Hills resident Aaron Spelling that starred the fierce British Actress Joan Collins as Alexis and, the petite blonde actress Linda Evans as Krystle. If reality inspires fiction, then fiction can certainly inspire reality.

Moving on to Ojai, I thought it was funny that there weren’t enough bedrooms — but I didn’t feel sorry for anyone, did you? They were in a beautiful estate and lucky to be there. If sharing a room in an estate is something to worry about, that is a problem. I loved how Yolanda Foster arrived in a private jet, it was perfection. Yolanda is cool; I like how she sits there in utter disbelief at what is transpiring around her. Yolanda and I have a few of those WTF moments in upcoming episodes, and we both have no problem calling it out.

Speaking of calling it out, I do understand how Brandi Glanville was quick to react to Adrienne, but I think it was a misunderstanding. Brandi just had a touching and emotional conversation with Kim Richards so her emotions were raw. Adrienne was on the other side of the room, oblivious to Kim and Brandi’s conversation. When Adrienne saw Kim cry, her instinct was to check on her by shouting across the table, and that caught Brandi at the wrong moment. At the end of the day, it was just bad timing for Adrienne. I had a friend in high school named Shana that was one of those girls with the worst timing; she has since changed her name, but that is another story…

It seems the drama in Beverly Hills is heating up and will soon be on fire. I’m not referring to Lisa’s former mansion across the street from Adrienne’s that went up in flames; I’m referring to the impending drama that I saw first hand when I joined the show. As the winter weather cools us down, at least we can count on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to warm us up.

xx

— Marisa Zanuck

Follow @MarisaZanuck

More RHOBH blogs by Marisa:

1. ‘RHOBH’: Taylor Armstrong Was ‘A Mess’ This Week, Says Marisa Zanuck
2. ‘RHOBH’: Taylor Armstrong Was Wrong To Talk About Sex At Kids’ Party

I love HollywoodLife.com readers because you are fearless and fabulous. You may not always agree with what I have to say, but I respect your opinion because everyone is free to have one, right? I appreciate all of your support for my column and look forward to agreeing, disagreeing and having fun! Life is too short to take things too seriously so let’s speak our mind and if someone doesn’t like it, too bad!

Before I get into this week’s drama, I had a short window to get away from it all so my family and I jetted off to Paris. I am grateful to spend this time with my family in such a beautiful place before I get thrown into the fire that is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I would like to thank those of you who tweeted me questions; keep them coming! FYI, I respond to all of my tweets personally. I don’t have people tweet for me because I want to have a direct relationship with all of you. As promised, I will answer at least one question per column that you tweet me (@marisazanuck).

This week’s question was from @HousewiveFan, who asked: Why weren’t you at Portia’s birthday party? The answer is that I couldn’t attend because I was a surprise addition to the cast and they wanted me to debut later in the season.

@abeninati8, who is so adorable, asked: When will you be introduced on #RHOBH? I officially step into the drama on episode 7 that airs Dec. 17!

Now let’s get to this week’s show! Every episode is better than the last, and this episode was good on so many levels — but there wouldn’t be a show without the drama, so let’s start there! I get why Adrienne Maloof and Lisa Vanderpump are not talking to each other, but Adrienne said they made amends, so why drag it out? Lisa says she is waiting for an apology, but we have seen this storyline on another Housewives show — and it didn’t end well. We all say crap that we regret, and by now, all the ladies should get that and let it go. Reunion shows are always filled with raw emotions, and things are said in the heat of the moment. I love Adrienne, but have to say it’s pretty clear Lisa doesn’t need the money she would make from selling stories; and frankly, I don’t think Lisa should worry about people thinking she does that for a living. The silent treatment game is immature, and I guess we will find out if they will let it go. It seems clear that Adrienne is ready to get over it, but as for Lisa, she lives by her own rules. If someone else doesn’t follow them, it seems they would have better luck befriending someone else.

I love the Richards family because you can tell how much they love each other. Kimberly Richards was a vision of beauty in her prom dress, and Kim Richards‘ reaction was touching because you could feel the love. Kyle and Alexia’s scene was one that we will all experience with our children — perhaps not in a Porsche, but this is Beverly Hills, people! Would you expect anything less? I have to give it to Kyle for being so relaxed; I may need to be sedated before I drive with my children, especially in LA!

Yolanda Foster is a class act, and her home is everything one would imagine it to be. As a real estate broker at Hilton and Hyland in Beverly Hills, I love seeing how homes reflect the people who live in them. Yolanda’s home matches her perfectly because it is beautiful and classy. That said, the house and the material things didn’t make Yolanda who she is, she is just a good and very cool person in general. Class is not defined by what you have; it is defined by how you behave. FYI, do not expect my house to have a glass refrigerator. Honestly, that would drive me crazy! I don’t have the patience Yolanda does to keep up a glass fridge — and trust me, there’s nothing exciting to see in mine!

Speaking of Yolanda, you finally got to meet her iconic husband David Foster! David is inducted into the songwriter’s hall of fame, a three-time Oscar nominee and has won 16 Grammy awards. Apparently Taylor Armstrong didn’t get that memo when she was so rude about the singing. Regardless, it doesn’t really matter if you are a guest in David and Yolanda’s home, or your neighbor’s home; the point is that you should show your hosts some respect — and once again Taylor was a mess. I was looking forward to hearing some of David’s music, but the broken record of Taylor’s gossip about sex muted that again. I really hope I don’t have to hear Taylor gossip about sex again because I just can’t take it anymore, especially when we all know it is a ridiculous rumor. Taylor: gossip, booze and sex don’t mix well together, its just gross. Taylor is a buzz kill.

This episode had a lot of fun and happy moments, but trust me, that won’t last long. This season is going to be one of the most dramatic and shocking off all time. There are several things that happen this season that will change Beverly Hills forever. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is like a juicy soap opera, so I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Revenge and dedicate it to the entire cast:

“Trust is a difficult thing whether it’s finding the right people to trust or trusting the right people who’ll do the wrong thing. But trusting your heart is the riskiest thing of all. In the end, the only person we can truly trust is ourself.”

Bien à vous! And happy Thanksgiving!

— Marisa Zanuck

Filming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was very surreal, so surreal in fact that there were many moments when I thought, “Is this really happening?” There are many shocking and dramatic moments that will unfold as the season progresses, and my co-stars have wasted no time stirring up the drama. I am grateful I was asked to join the show later in the season because it gave the ladies plenty of time to start their battles, and thankfully, I managed to dodge some of the bullets. As I watch everything unfold, just like you, I will share my thoughts from an insider’s perspective about the crazy things we will see this season. Buckle up; it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

The season premiere was entertaining to say the least. Let’s start with the woman who makes the rules in Beverly Hills, Lisa Vanderpump. Apparently Lisa thought it was ok to drag a llama through someone’s home. If that was supposed to be funny, it wasn’t. If someone showed up to my house with a llama, there is no chance in hell it would walk through my door. Would you want a Llama s***ing all over your carpets? I think not.

I was really looking forward to seeing Kyle Richards‘ cute little daughter Portia all dressed up for her big party, and then Taylor Armstrong’s face popped up on the screen and she was going on and on, gossiping to anyone who would listen about a rumor she heard about Brandi Glanville. First of all, Brandi never said she slept with every guy in Beverly Hills. What was Taylor’s motivation for spreading such a ridiculous rumor? It was totally inappropriate for Taylor to gossip about sex at a children’s birthday party. Honestly! It was fitting that Taylor was at a children’s party because she is a tattle-tale. No joke.

How fun was it to see the guys walking a mile in high heels? Now they know what women go through every day! They were good sports for a very important cause to end domestic violence.

I loved that the season premiere included a photo shoot, children’s birthday party, shopping, theme dinner party and two men walking a mile in high heels. Just another crazy day in Beverly Hills — and it has only just begun.

Tell me what you think about the drama (@marisazanuck) and I will include one of your comments in my next column!

xx,

— Marisa Zanuck

More RHOBH drama on HollywoodLife.com:

1. ‘RHOBH’ Season 3 Trailer: Watch Adrienne Maloof’s Marriage Fall Apart
2. ‘RHOBH’ Star Kyle Richards Gets Home Transformed For Halloween Thanks To Wonka
3. ‘RHOBH’ Star Kyle Richards Takes Daughter To Pumpkin Patch