Every show on TV professes to feature countless “WTF” moments, but few are able to squeeze so many into a single hour as effortlessly as The L.A. Complex, which premiered April 24 on The CW. Real talk: When the main character gets an abortion, vomits on a piano and becomes a stripper all in the pilot episode, you’re in for an awesome ride.

The series premiere introduced viewers to the residents of the Deluxe Suites Motel, a Melrose Place-style complex whose inhabitants are as hot as the scandals they cook up. There’s Abby (Cassie Steele), a newbie actress who recently moved from Toronto; Connor (Jonathan Patrick Moore), the star of a new medical drama; Nick (Joe Dinicol), a “comedian” who’s as clueless about women as he is about comedy; Alicia (Chelan Simmons), a dancer by day and a stripper by night; Raquel (Jewel Staite), an “aging” actress who’s putting all her faith in one final project; and Tariq (Benjamin Charles Watson), a hip-hop assistant willing to do whatever it takes to make it in the music industry.

Now, please join me in counting down the four finest moments from tonight’s premiere:

1. Abby & Connor fall in love — over their first abortion:

After a beautiful, drunken night of roof-sex, Abby and Connor awoke to realize they made a big mistake. Several big mistakes, actually. Here’s word-for-word how their morning-after chat went down:

Abby: You wore a condom last night, right?
Connor: No.
Abby: Why the hell not?
Connor: You said you were on something.
Abby: Yeah, drugs!
…
Connor: I guess we should get one of those, you know, “morning after” things? … Come on, I’ll get you some breakfast, too!
Abby: Breakfast and an abortion pill? And they say there are no good guys in L.A.

2. Raquel’s racist rant:

Refusing to audition for a mom-role during a casting call, Raquel insisted the director let her audition for the best-friend part. After being told the best friend was meant for a black actress, Raquel spewed out the following rant — in a room full of black actresses:

“So you’re making the best friend black? That’s kind of a cliché, don’t you think? I mean, who has a black best friend, right? Like, in real life, if you’re trying to be all authentic. [To a black woman] Do you have a white best friend? Do any of you have a white best friend? No, right?”

(Smooth move, Raquel. Not at all racist.)

3. Abby vomits… everywhere:

After being evicted from her apartment and having to squat at the Luxe, Abby finally caught a lucky break by scoring an audition — but she quickly learned that auditions and abortions don’t mix. The Plan B pill made her super nauseous, and she ended up puking all over the piano.

Abby: I’m not contagious! I just took the Morning After pill, like, an hour ago.
Director: Abby, there’s an old saying in show business: When there’s vomit on the piano, it’s time to stop the audition.

Oh well, at least she sounded good!

4. Surprise! Alicia’s a stripper… and now so is Abby:

Abby was thrilled when Alicia told her she could get her an under-the-table job, but ended up getting more than she bargained for when she realized what Alicia really did for money. So how will Abby cut it as a stripper? You’ll find out next week.

And trust me, it’s good.

So what did you think of The L.A. Complex? Who’s your favorite character? Have you already made a home for it on your DVR? Drop your thoughts on my personal new addiction in the comments section below!

— Andy Swift

Follow @AndySwift