After months of speculation, Ashley Hebert finally made her choice last night: she opted for for volatile New Yorker JP Rosenbaum over sensitive winemaker Ben Flajnik on The Bachelorette. But did Ashley make the wrong choice?

Although it was widely assumed that she would choose the 34-year-old construction manager, it was still a shock that Ashley let both men propose, only to break 28-year-old Ben’s heart.

“You can’t leave something like this on good terms. It’s not possible,” the Sonoma, Calif. resident told Ashley after she rejected him. “I’m in utter shock and disbelief.” And he walked away — an eloquent and effective exit strategy.

This is the way a nice guy gets his heart broken: gracefully. Indeed, even on the After the Final Rose special, Ben was still a complete gentleman. “I’m not angry,” he admitted. “There was anger. You put yourself out there and it doesn’t come true, it’s like being told no! I left with a little bit of dignity I think. I couldn’t have gotten to where I was if it weren’t for you. And for that, thank you. The friendship thing, I think it’ll be there.”

What a nice guy!

However, the 24-year-old dental assistant went for JP, who readily admits he’s stubborn, frustrated too easily when he doesn’t get his way and lacking in patience, partially because of her overwhelming attraction to him.

“We have this passion for each other, but we also have this magical, unspoken connection where it’s so easy and it feels like I’ve known him forever,” she said on last night’s show. “He’s committed and he’s going to be a great family man. He is the total package for me.”

But it is Ashley who is giving up her hometown by moving to be with JP in NYC, and it is JP that Ashley’s sister, Chrystie, doesn’t like. The plot thickens.

So, when faced with a choice between two men, who do you opt for? Does the nice guy always have to finish last?

Here’s the thing: you can’t date someone you aren’t attracted to. It just doesn’t work. You can become more attracted to the guy you’re dating over time as you realize what an amazing person he is, and what a deep connection you have, but you can’t physically make yourself fall for a man.

Sexual chemistry is something we always desire in a relationship, and we think that should be what we go for in the long run: but this kind of unending passion is hard to sustain and isn’t the basis for a strong relationship.

It’s totally telling that when asked why she chose JP, the first thing Ashley mentioned was her “passion” for him. She’s also having to give up her Pennsylvania hometown, and methinks she might be giving up too much for a guy who won’t treat her like a queen.

Ben respected Ashley, was always sweet and goofy and seemed like he would have been the perfect husband. I don’t think this nice guy should have finished last.

So remember, if you’re faced with a choice between two men, weigh all your options and add all the factors up. Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship — but sexual desire does not last forever. What makes for a lasting relationship is respect, loyalty, trust and love.

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Kristin Cavallari never seemed like the type to get dumped, but apparently it happens to everyone at some point in their lives. The Hills starlet and fiance  Jay Cutler called off their engagement just over a week ago. Never one to let grass grow under her feet, the 24-year-old reality star was out partying less than a week after the split, flirting with a throng of men. Is she handling her breakup the right way?

After a whirlwind eight-month courtship, Kristin and the Chicago Bears player got engaged in April. Despite having had their engagement party just over a week ago, 28-year-old Jay apparently got cold feet and decided he didn’t want to be married anymore and dumped KC unexpectedly.

Although she’s shocked, hurt and confused, the sassy blonde star refused to sit home sulking and crying, and joined pals Nicky Hilton and Alessandra Ambrosio for a night of partying at LA hotspot The Beverly July 23.

Eyewitnesses say that certainly didn’t seem to be unhappy, and that she was totally enjoying the glow of male admiration. “Nicky and Kristin were dancing on the banquet of their VIP table,” a source told HollywoodLife.com, adding, “Kristin was smiling and in great spirits. She didn’t hesitate at all when guys came up trying to hit on her. She loved the attention!”

But is the newly single starlet making a smart decision? Should she be taking time to heal and recover from such a shocking, unexpected split?

Here’s the thing: breakups suck. It’s never a good thing to be hurt so badly by someone you’ve loved — and Kristin’s situation sounds like my worst nightmare. Can YOU imagine just having had your happy engagement party only to have your fiance call it off days later out of the blue?

In that respect, I think Kristin should do whatever Kristin needs to do to get over Chicago’s quarterback. Everyone handles breakups their own way. Some go out and find a rebound relationship. Some sit at home looking at Facebook photos of their ex. Some delete their ex from Facebook. Some party with friends and use alcohol as a lubricant to dull the pain. Some surround themselves with good friends, and some just want to be alone.

Do whatever is right for you. No one can tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing during a breakup. It’s your pain and, therefore, your right to choose how you handle it.

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Don’t freak out quite yet, HollywoodLifers — Miley Cyrus and boyfriend Liam Hemsworth aren’t engaged yet. However, there’s been talk that the two are so happily in love that marriage might be in their imminent future. Keep in mind, though, that the two have had a rocky relationship over the past two years. If you were in their shoes, would getting engaged really be the best idea?

Miley, 18, and Liam, 21, have broken up only to get back together a few times over the past two years, but they are most definitely back on right now. In fact, they’re playing one big happy family with her mom, Tish, and his parents in Australia.

“She sent a private helicopter to pick [Liam's parents] up from their holiday home on Philip Island, and they sat next to her mom, Tish,” a source close to Miley tells Star magazine. “Miley was nervous because she didn’t want the Hemsworths to think her act was too racy , but they had a ball.”

Another friend claims the pair is already thinking about marriage! “They’re hanging out like one big happy family,” the pal says. “Everyone wonders when Miley and Liam will take the next step and get engaged!”

Not that this is definitely the case —  and after the toll her parents’ divorce is taking on her, I’d assume marriage would be the last thing on Miley’s mind — but if it were, is getting engaged the solution?

I’m sure you all know the answer to this one. When something is broken, or runs hot and cold, it isn’t necessarily the right thing. Couples reconnect because they genuinely do love one another (which is different from being in love, mind you) or because they have an unhealthy addiction to one another. Although Miley and Liam do seem to be having a good moment at present, how long will it last?

An engagement ring is not a Bandaid. It’s just going to make your love life a lot more complicated if you and your hot & cold boyfriend do break up again. A diamond might be a girl’s best friend, but do you really want a BFF who might potentially go away at any given moment?

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Is true love about passion — or comfort?

How did Kim Kardashian know she had found ‘the one’ in fiancé Kris Humphries? According to Kim’s older sis, Kourtney, it was because she felt ‘comfortable’ around him. Does this kind of feeling guarantee that your love will last, or should you hold out for someone you feel crazy passionate about?

“He fits in [with the family] already. I think they’re just themselves, and I think that’s the most important thing,” the oldest Kardashian sister told People magazine. She added, ”Kim is totally herself in front of him. Everything is easy, comfortable, no stress.”

Is Kim going the right route, or should she be seeking someone with whom sparks fly?

I may never say this again in my life but here it is: DO be like Kim Kardashian. This girl has the right idea. Why do you want to be with a guy who makes you feel on edge, or makes you feel that you always have to be something you’re not? Being comfortable might not sound all that sexy, but it’s a wonderful thing in a relationship.

This is why so many women have fantasies about marrying their best guy friend: you can be attracted to the guy you feel most yourself around.

Does this mean he’s ‘the one’? Well, no. But any relationship where you can’t be you almost certainly guarantees that he won’t be your true love. So at least you’re taking a step in the right direction!

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Kim hasn’t even known Kris Humphries for a year — and they’re engaged! Will it last?

The Kardashian sisters don’t mess around when they find ‘the one.’ Middle sis Kim, 30, is following in 26-year-old Khloé‘s footsteps by becoming engaged to a guy she’s known for a nanosecond. The sexy reality has guys around the world weeping after officially becoming engaged to NBA player Kris Humphries May 18. But is their relationship moving too fast to last?

If you’ll remember correctly, Kim swore off of dating for a year after failed relationships with athletes Reggie Bush and Miles Austin. Her vow didn’t last long; she started seeing the 26-year-old New Jersey Nets forward in December and the rest, as they say, is history.

Although the two have only been dating for half a year, Kris’ proposal was pretty planned out, as if he had been thinking about it for some time. Prepare to ‘aw’: he was waiting for her on bended knee in her L.A. home with “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” written out in rose petals and presented her with a 20.5-carat diamond Lorraine Schwartz ring.

The couple is really rushing things now: according to Kim, they’re planning a summer wedding. As in, summer of 2011, not 2012. Why are they hurrying love, and can their quickie engagement/marriage actually work?

The Kardashians have apparently been blessed with some sort of magic that makes fast relationships last. No one ever thought Khloé and hubby Lamar Odom, who got engaged within a month of knowing each other, would last, and nearly two years later they’re still together and happier than ever. So do Kim and Kris have a shot at lasting love? Apparently.

But, as I always say, there are exceptions, and there are rules. The Kardashian sisters are exceptions; the rest of us are the rule. Rushing headfirst into a marriage when you know next to nothing about the groom is just asking for trouble. Sure, you’re in love, but how do you know you can live together without throttling one another? How do you know if there are things about one another that you won’t learn to hate in the long run?

Yes, love at first sight does exist — just make sure you can have a real relationship with your fantasy man before you say ‘I do.’

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Emily thought she could fall in love with Brad Womack, but is that enough of a reason to marry someone?

It’s not the biggest shocker in the world to hear that Emily Maynard, Brad Womack’s chosen bride on The Bachelor, might have gone on the show for impure reasons (i.e. elevating her career). But a new report says that Emily never loved Brad at all, despite getting engaged to him on the show. Should she have let the pressure of outsiders influence her decision to say ‘I do’?

“She told me, ‘I pray every day that I could fall in love with Brad,’” the Southern blonde’s pal, Krista Lee, told Life & Style. “It’s just such a mess.” The pal explained Emily’s decision to so say yes during the May 14 finale as, “She wanted to get more jobs hosting and maybe some modeling work.”

And although the couple tried to make it work, it was clear that Emily’s heart wasn’t in it; she eventually broke it off with Brad last month.

Emily’s situation is a bit different from anything you’re going to encounter — after all, you’re not accepting a marriage proposal on national television on a reality show where you’ve just ‘won’ love — but the sentiment is still the same. Should you ever become engaged because you think you should when you’re not sure he’s the one?

I find that a lot of women settle because they’re just grateful to be asked, happy that someone loves them. Being a bride and having a fancy wedding is the dream for many. But just because you want the trappings of marriage doesn’t mean you actually want to be wed to someone you don’t really love.

Think about what will happen when your dream day is over. Can you imagine a lifetime (or even a few months) of pretending to feel something you don’t? Emily caved in to the pressure, but she eventually did the right thing by cutting it off, despite the fact that Brad is totally besotted by her. However, she’ll be causing him less pain in the long run, knowing as she does that she doesn’t love him and probably never will.

Be strong. It take a tough woman who can say ‘I don’t’ to ‘Will you say I I do?’

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Brad is trying to woo back ex-fiance Emily Maynard after she dumped him. Should he even try?

Emily Maynard may have dumped her Bachelor fiance Brad Womack, but he’s still holding out home that she’ll come back to him. But when your respective other calls it quits, is there even a point in trying to fix what was broken?

“I am very much in love,” Brad told Life & Style of his former fiancee, who dumped him over the phone because she suspected he was cheating.  He added, “I’ll be broken. I really will. So I hope it doesn’t get to that point.”

So Brad attempted to fix the situation and flew Emily from her North Carolina residence to his home of Austin, Texas. However, the trip didn’t go as planned. There was no emotion until the two were — get this — saying goodbye at the airport. Only then were there tears.

I think that fact alone says a lot. After a weekend of tension, they may have ironically realized that they were finally saying goodbye for good.

When you break up with your partner over a lack of trust, or a realization that you aren’t right together, or that you simply aren’t at the same point in your lives where you can give the other what they need, you need to realize that this is probably the end of your relationship for good. There are exceptions, but for the most part, you’ll need to close that chapter in your life and move on.

Emily isn’t going to suddenly one day wake up and trust Brad. She has her own trust issues, and that may have to do with how Brad has acted in the past, or it simply might be something inside of herself that she can’t control. Whatever it is, these two don’t appear to be made for each other. If Brad really does love her, of course he’s going to try everything in his power to get her back. I’m just saying there’s a good chance it’s going to be in vain, and he needs to accept that losing her might be his reality.

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The pregnant actress confirmed the happy news to Matt Lauer on The Today Show this morning, April 27!

Amazing news! Kate Hudson, 32, and her beau, Muse rocker, Matt Bellamy have made it official — they’re engaged! The Something Borrowed actress, who is expecting her first baby with Matt this summer, showed off the stunning ring on The Today Show!

“It just happened a week ago, I’m so glad you noticed,” she tells Matt Lauer. “I haven’t really announced it and I felt like the announcing thing feels so silly, and I was just waiting for someone to notice.” We’d be screaming that news from the rooftops, Kate!

“He’s a beautiful man, and I’m excited,” she says of her soon-to-be hubby, Matt, 32. No wedding date has been set as of yet and Kate was mum about the proposal details, saying only that is was “very sweet, very romantic.” Aww!

Kate and Matt’s baby-to-be will join big brother Ryder, 7, who is Kate’s son from her previous marriage to Chris Robinson.

Watch her Today Show announcement below!

–Leigh Blickley

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