Vanessa Lachey, 32, reavealed in a new blog post that she has been dealing with some “baby blues” after the birth of her and husband Nick Lachey‘s son Camden Lachey, who is now almost four months old.

When Camden was born, things were going pretty well for the new mother. She was still figuring out how to plan the baby’s feedings and how to deal with being a mom, but she cared so much about her child that she didn’t care about the work.

“I immediately mapped out in my brain the next 24 hours,” Vanessa writes. “When he would eat, which side I would start on, and what “hold” I would use for each feeding to get the maximum efficiency. Well, that was my first problem (I came to find out later…There’s no perfect plan. Life just evolves).”

Vanessa was enjoying her new child and was so happy that he was finally born because she always knew that she was meant to be a mother.

“[T]hat first week was tough, but blissful.” Vanessa writes later on. “You can’t see up from down, but are in such a state of disbelief and euphoria that this little beautiful soul is yours.”

Emotions Hit Vanessa Lachey Hard

Things started to take a turn for the worse emotionally for Vanessa when week two of being a mom rolled around. Reality was setting in, hormones were getting back to normal, and her emotions were all over the place.

“On one particular day, I remember it was 1pm, and the whole family was upstairs.  I was isolated down in my bedroom,” Vanessa shares in her post. “Then when Camden was done eating, I wasn’t able to lay and cuddle with him, which was always something I loved to do. I had to give him back to all the well wishers who wanted to hold him and love him, and I sat and waited for the next feeding, where I would do it all again. Instead of cherishing the moments I had with Cam, I was constantly thinking about how I would have to give him up at the end of the feeding.”

Vanessa Can’t Keep The Fear Out

The first-time mother believes that fear is what caused her depression. She didn’t want to do the wrong thing or be a bad mother. Her nerves and fears got the best of her mind.

“I think it’s just fear…The fear of not knowing what I’m doing. The fear of “messing up” this little boy,” she writes. “The fear of being responsible for a human being and not knowing any “life” experiences to compare moments with him to.”

Saturday, September 29th was the day that Vanessa completely realized that something was really not right. Something, everything, didn’t feel right to her. She felt lost and didn’t know how she could ever get back to who she was.

“I didn’t feel like myself. Where was the super woman who always thought and knew she could do it all?” she shares. “Where was the organized Vanessa who had it all under control no matter what the obstacle? She was gone, and I thought… forever.”

Vanessa Learns To Take Some “Me” Time

On this day, when Vanessa was feeling completely down and out of control, Nick took Camden and let her go out and collect herself. She turned up the radio, made a couple of stops, then came home and took a shower, and tried to put herself back together. Vanessa told Nick how she “was sorry for the weeks of losing myself” and it made her feel better. She had to take a step back in order to ruly appreciate the miracle of life and the blessing we have.”

“I used to think it was selfish to be a new mom and ever think the word Me,” Vanessa concludes. “But now I realize, there is no Camden without Me. And I want him to see the best of Me in hopes that he can grow up to be an amazing, wonderful happy man who finds his own Me in himself.”

We wish Vanessa the best of luck in her struggle to find balance between being a new mom and still making time for herself!

What do YOU think HollyMoms? Are you proud of Vanessa for opening up about her battle with the baby blues?

WATCH: 98 Degrees Announce Tour With New Kids On The Block and Boyz II Men

– Rachael Ellenbogen

More Nick and Vanessa Lachey News:

1. Nick Lachey’s Beautiful Album Cover With Mini-Me Baby Camden
2. Nick Lachey Did Not Choke The Chargers Fan & Is ‘Very Upset’ Over Allegations
3. New Dad Nick Lachey & Baby Camden Support Cincinnati Bengals — Cute Pic

Nick Lachey, 39, is embracing his new role as working dad, and showing off his beautiful baby boy along the way! For his first-ever lullaby album, the 98 Degrees alum poses with his 5-month-old son Camden John on the cover, the little boy’s bright blue eyes and dark hair matching that of his handsome dad!

A Father’s Lullaby, an album released in partnership with Fisher-Price and Mood Entertainment, is available for download on iTunes and Amazon on March 13. The newly released songs mark the former boy bander’s return to music, with a gentle and more sentimental dad approach ever since welcoming his first child on Sept. 17, 2012 with his wife Vanessa Minnillo, 32.

“So excited for you all to hear my new album “A Father’s Lullaby.” Camden is the best muse a father could ask for!” Nick tweeted on Feb. 26.

Nick and Vanessa married on July 16, 2011 in the Caribbean, a welcomed their first child a little more than a year later. And it looks like the proud dad is completely embracing his new role as father — and even using his little guy as inspiration for his music!

Nick Lachey To Tour With 98 Degrees & NKOTB

Nick’s lullaby album isn’t the only return to music he’s making — he will reunite with his boy band 98 Degrees for a tour with New Kids on the Block and Boyz II Men, which kicks off on May 31! But with most of the men on tour married with kids, it will be a much different vibe this time around.

We can’t wait to hear A Father’s Lullaby, and keep an eye out for more pics of Camden!

What do YOU think of the album cover HollyMoms? Isn’t it just the cutest? Let us know in the comments below!

– Christina Stiehl

More Nick Lachey & Camden News:

1. Nick & Vanessa Lachey Reveal Video Of Adorable Baby Camden
2. New Dad Nick Lachey & Baby Camden Support Cincinnati Bengals — Cute Pic
3. Nick & Vanessa Lachey Debut Baby Camden John On Twitter

Nick Lachey is making sure his baby boy Camden John Lachey, one month, grows up to be a Cincinnati Bengals fan like his dad. Nick and his wife Vanessa Minnillo welcomed Camden on Sept. 12 — just in time for football season!

The former 98 Degrees singer, who hails from from Cincinnati, showed love for his hometown with a Bengals jersey, and made sure his baby boy wasn’t left out with a matching Bengals onesie!

“I’m an avid, passionate, lifelong Bengals fan, so this was kind of a no-brainer for me,” Nick told People about him and Camden sporting matching Bengals gear for the Tide Show Us Your Colors football campaign.

“Having a new son and being able to pass on my passion for my hometown team to him is great. I’m glad I have a son because in the middle of a great sports season, I can share those big moments with him. If I had a daughter, she’d probably be doing the same thing, but she’d probably resent me a little more for it,” he said.

What do YOU think of the pic HollyMoms? Do you dress up your little ones for football season?

– Christina Stiehl

More Nick Lachey news:

1. Nick & Vanessa Lachey Debut Baby Camden John On Twitter
2. Vanessa Minnillo Flies One Last Time Before Baby
3. Vanessa Minnillo Shows Off Bare Baby Bump