All that AND Teddy’s finally doing something interesting. Let’s give the wacky seniors of West Bev their report cards for episode three.
We’ll start with a solid B for Annie’s (Shenae Grimes) freaky boss story: They want to buy her eggs for $20,000. I like that idea, but I think making the little murderer a surrogate would keep things even more interesting, just like when Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes got pregnant in season one. And we all know the show likes repeating storylines, as Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and that random theater guy are totally going to be the new Adrianna and Gia (Rumer Willis.)
Silver almost being raped by Mr. Cannon: B+
Mr. Cannon (Hal Ozsan) may have lured Silver (Jessica Stroup) to his home, but her Katie Couric hair and equally Couric-esque instincts figured out what he was up to. I see things getting ugly for that rapist.
Naomi’s pill problem: C
Average. Kelly Taylor did it first.
Ivy, Oscar & Dixon’s boring British love triangle: C -
I hate everything about Ivy (Gillian Zinser) and Oscar’s (Blair Redford) relationship. I hate that his ridiculous Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow impersonation and I hate that he always calls Ivy “Gidget.” But most of all, I hate that he cheated on her with Kay Bennett. (Oh, wait… that’s when he was on Passions.)
Also, the gym teacher at West Bev should probably be reported and fired. Who tells a class of high school guys to wrestle with absolutely no direction and minimal supervision? Dixon (Tristan Wilds) could have killed that annoying British kid!
Adrianna getting BUSTED for stealing Javier’s song: A+ (I graded on a curve)
The double meaning behind Adrianna’s (Jessica Lowndes) performance at Javier’s funeral was not lost on me. But seriously: “I’ve lost my way” and “me trying say goodbye?” Javier wrote some eerily appropriate songs for his own funeral.
If you actually read that entire rant, you get an A++ and extra credit. As a reward, you get to vote on YOUR favorite storyline, or feel free to hate all over me in the comments section below.