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Posted Fri, August 20, 2010 7:23pm EDT

Bonnie Says: Yes, There Are Good Reasons To See 'The Switch,' BUT You WILL Demand that Jen Switch Her Future Roles & Looks Up, From Now On!

Jen — you are stuck in a rut!

You have now made at least 8 romantic comedies in which you are repeatedly “Rachel” and now you MUST move on!

In your latest film, The Switch, which opened today, you are Rachel but a little older and wearier, and your co-star, Jason Bateman, plays the Ross character, who you can’t quite get it together with.

In this version, your character is New York City career girl Kassie who magically lands dream jobs, without any effort, working in the world of TV. Your best friend is Wally (Jason Bateman), one of the few New York hedge fund honchos who doesn’t appear to make any more money than a high school teacher — which is exactly what he dresses like.

As Kassie, you decide your biological clock is ticking, and since you haven’t found the man of your dreams — despite the fact that he’s right in front of your eyeballs — you decide to track down a sperm donor.

Wally,  your hilarious guy BFF, who despite being a rumpled huggy bear of an adorable guy, suffers from low love esteem and as a result is a repeated loser in love. Think When Harry Met Sally.

Kassie gets pregnant, moves back to her family home to Minnesota for seven years to raise her son, Sebastian, and then suddenly returns to New York City, where she instantly reconnects with both Wally (who’s still carrying a torch), and with her sperm donor.

Here’s what’s worth watching in The Switch — Jason Bateman, who manages to still look like someone you’d want to snuggle with in bed for life, despite his habit of wearing “Christmas” sweaters; Jeff Goldblum who’s Wally’s slick hedge fundy friend (and does look like he’s appropriately raking in the dough); and little Bryce Robinson, who plays Jen’s neurotic 7-year-old son, Sebastian.

As for you Jen — you play yourself/Rachel, but you’re a whole lot less funny than Rachel. I got the feeling that even you are bored of being that cute, all-American girl who just can’t find a man. And why wouldn’t you be bored? These films — The Breakup, He’s Just Not That Into You, etc. etc. — totally mirror your own life. And you aren’t shy about that as a selling point. You’ve been all over TV talk shows telling us how you think it’s wonderful single women can now use sperm donors to have babies on their own.

By the way, HollywoodLife.comers, once you see the film, you’ll know why Jen did sit-down interviews with both ABC’s Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kelly.

And you’ll also be ready and to high-five ABC News’ Diane Sawyer, for being the biggest surprise sex symbol in The Switch. Now her scene is worth the price of admission.

–Bonnie Fuller