Posted Fri, August 20, 2010 7:23pm EST

Bonnie Says: Yes, There Are Good Reasons To See 'The Switch,' BUT You WILL Demand that Jen Switch Her Future Roles & Looks Up, From Now On!

Posted Fri, August 20, 2010 7:23pm EST

Jen — you are stuck in a rut!

You have now made at least 8 romantic comedies in which you are repeatedly “Rachel” and now you MUST move on!

In your latest film, The Switch, which opened today, you are Rachel but a little older and wearier, and your co-star, Jason Bateman, plays the Ross character, who you can’t quite get it together with.

In this version, your character is New York City career girl Kassie who magically lands dream jobs, without any effort, working in the world of TV. Your best friend is Wally (Jason Bateman), one of the few New York hedge fund honchos who doesn’t appear to make any more money than a high school teacher — which is exactly what he dresses like.

As Kassie, you decide your biological clock is ticking, and since you haven’t found the man of your dreams — despite the fact that he’s right in front of your eyeballs — you decide to track down a sperm donor.

Wally,  your hilarious guy BFF, who despite being a rumpled huggy bear of an adorable guy, suffers from low love esteem and as a result is a repeated loser in love. Think When Harry Met Sally.

Kassie gets pregnant, moves back to her family home to Minnesota for seven years to raise her son, Sebastian, and then suddenly returns to New York City, where she instantly reconnects with both Wally (who’s still carrying a torch), and with her sperm donor.

Here’s what’s worth watching in The Switch — Jason Bateman, who manages to still look like someone you’d want to snuggle with in bed for life, despite his habit of wearing “Christmas” sweaters; Jeff Goldblum who’s Wally’s slick hedge fundy friend (and does look like he’s appropriately raking in the dough); and little Bryce Robinson, who plays Jen’s neurotic 7-year-old son, Sebastian.

As for you Jen — you play yourself/Rachel, but you’re a whole lot less funny than Rachel. I got the feeling that even you are bored of being that cute, all-American girl who just can’t find a man. And why wouldn’t you be bored? These films — The Breakup, He’s Just Not That Into You, etc. etc. – totally mirror your own life. And you aren’t shy about that as a selling point. You’ve been all over TV talk shows telling us how you think it’s wonderful single women can now use sperm donors to have babies on their own.

By the way, HollywoodLife.comers, once you see the film, you’ll know why Jen did sit-down interviews with both ABC’s Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kelly.

And you’ll also be ready and to high-five ABC News’ Diane Sawyer, for being the biggest surprise sex symbol in The Switch. Now her scene is worth the price of admission.

–Bonnie Fuller

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tora

Posted at 11:48 PM on August 23, 2010  

Sorry but jen adds no spice to any movie,i rented the bounty hunter and ohh god everybody was so bored we had to stop the movie..she needs to retire maybe in another life time cause in this one she has no real talent to be anyone else but rachael…she is just not confortable with herself and she just sucks, iam just glad i can still see her in the old friends show.

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Michele

Posted at 5:15 PM on August 21, 2010  

THE BITCH CAN’T ACT!!! SHE IS DWARFED BY HER CO-STARS!!! SHE HAD NO RANGE!!!! It’s not like she hasn’t TRIED…SHE CAN’T do it!!

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Village

Posted at 12:17 PM on August 21, 2010  

I just noticed the actor in the picture above. I think that is Jason Bateman. The look on his face is priceless. He looks like he’s thinking how the hell did I get here? Oh yeah, I needed a pool. He looks like this can’t be over fast enough.

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michele

Posted at 5:32 AM on August 21, 2010  

I was literally saying this same thing about her taking the same roles over and over to a client of mine. She’s not the only actress guilty of this ( hello SJP, cameron,etc!). I’m over seeing an over 40 woman playing the woman whose career is in place but her personal life is in shambles only to be saved by a baby or some dude. I hope that’s not what I have to look forward too, that’s depressing and sad.

But hey it must sell right? Apparently hollywood must think women LOVE that played out story line. EWW!

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wikig

Posted at 1:51 AM on August 21, 2010  

Jen is no movie star never has and never will be a movie star as she is forever a Rachel Green?? She is BORING the only reason you tab rag mags talk about her is because she got dumped by BRAD PITT and can’t stand that Angie now has him!

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Village

Posted at 12:08 AM on August 21, 2010  

Jen is Rachel Green, and Rachel Green is Jen. Jennifer Aniston can’t act, she just plays herself on screen, the big one and the little one. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve never seen her do anything other than Rachel Green.

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magdalana

Posted at 8:14 PM on August 20, 2010  

My god!!! Jennifer, DYE YOUR HAIR, OR CUT YOUR HAIR, CHANGE YOUR LOOK… DO SOMETHING!!!! IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE AN ACTION MOVIE LIKE ANGELINA..JUST SOMETHING ELSE WHERE YOU DON’T DO RACHEL FREEKING GREEN IN EVERY FREEKING MOVIE YOU MAKE…LOOK AT HER MOVIES… IT’S ESSENTIALLY RACHEL IN EVER MOVE SHE HAS MADE..SAME HAIR, BLONDE PARTED IN THE MIDDLE, SEMI WITTY.. AND GENERALLY DULLL… MIX IT UP JEN, WE LOVE YOU BUT DAMN GIRL…CHANGE YOUR LOOKS, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A MOVIE STAR!???? i bet you would look lovely with black hair and a bit heavier makeup for a something differnt.

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scarla

Posted at 8:36 PM on August 20, 2010  

Honestly, I don’t think of her as a movie star… I think she’s all celebrity….it get’s old.

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Sal

Posted at 12:03 AM on August 21, 2010  

Face it. Aniston is still with us, because of sympathy over her perceived dumping by Brad Pitt for Angelina Jolie. If not for them, she’d be exactly where Lisa Kudrow is, except without the natural talent, comedic timing and smarts. That’s the shame of it all. That we’ve all had to suffer 11 movies a month from this lame, when other former TV actors and comedians could have been given the breaks she’s squandered for the last 15 or more years. She’s not attractive from the neck up, she’s not funny, she has no charisma. Yet I expect her PR monster to suck her dry and get his 15% come hell or high water, so shampoo, bottled water, perfume, boring tv talk show appearances, monosyllabic anxiety riddled mag interviews, fauxmances, pity parties and crap rom coms I see us suffering thru for quite some time to come.

 
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