Posted Tue, December 7, 2010 4:27pm EDT

Taylor Swift V. Taylor Momsen: Why Hollywood’s 8 Biggest Angels Triumph Over The 8 Biggest Devils!

Posted Tue, December 7, 2010 4:27pm EDT

Red-hot Taylor Swift wears knee-length, ’50s-style dresses and the raciest things she says are ‘Gosh’ and ‘Gee,’ while 17-yr-old Taylor Momsen, who flashes her boobs onstage and curses on morning TV, is barely seen on ‘Gossip Girl’ these days.

Are goody goodies triumphing over baddies in Hollywood? Just take a look at this evidence! Taylor Swift is hot, hot, hot right now! The girl-next-door singer is scoring magazine covers, dating a movie star- Jake Gyllenhaal -and selling out concerts in minutes flat. But the only thing hot about her namesake, Taylor Momsen, is that she’s a hot MESS with her smeared makeup and slutty get-ups! Even though the Gossip Girl star is on a top-rated show, her career isn’t generating heat – in fact she won’t even be seen on the next few episodes of the show – and she struggles to fill small dive bars when she performs.

Jennie Garth vs Shannen Doherty

Clean-cut and always-smiling Jennie Garth‘s career has flourished, she’s married to a Twilight star, has a beautiful family and she has several endorsement deals. Meanwhile, the always-abrasive Shannen‘s “Bad-Ass” book came out recently—did anyone even notice?

Sandra Bullock vs Jesse James

The scandal with her cheating husband has only seemed to cement Sandra‘s position as America’s Sweetheart, as she continues to be one of Hollywood’s most sought-after and highly-paid actresses. She’s devoted to Jesse’s kids (even though they’re now divorced) and now she’s a single mom to little baby Louis—HELLO? Can she get any sweeter? But the philandering Jesse’s career is OVER. His latest show was canceled by Spike TV, he can’t sell his house in Los Angeles and Entertainment Weekly called him “The Most Hated Man in America.” Oy, what a loser.

Mel Gibson vs Liam Neeson

He’s made anti-semetic rants and his ex-girlfriend says he beat her—do YOU have any interest in seeing Mel Gibson in The Beaver? Blech! No way, right? Liam Neeson, on the other hand has led a quiet family life and for years has sat on the board and raised funds for TWELVE charities, including UNICEF, Clothes Off Our Back and Make Poverty History. No wonder they fired Mel from The Hangover 2 and gave his part to Liam!

Angelina Jolie vs Chelsea Handler

Mega-movie star Angelina is a mother of SIX, but she still finds time to feed starving children and fight for world peace. On top of all that, now she’s directing her first feature film! And Angelina never speaks negatively about ANYONE in the press. Now Chelsea has gone after Angelina, calling her terrible names in an apparent bid to stick up for her bff, the jilted Jennifer Aniston. And what does Chelsea do with her spare time? She sits by the pool drinking margaritas and tanning in Cabo … with Jen!

Lauren Conrad vs Heidi Montag

On The Hills, Lauren Conrad always seemed focused on building a legitimate career in fashion and hanging out with her friends, while her ex-roommate, Heidi, always seemed to just be focused on HERSELF! Lauren went on to become one of Hollywood’ top earners, $5 million, in the last year—she’s writing books and designing clothes—while Heidi recently divulged that she’s broke and out of work. Coincidence? We think not.

Justin Bieber vs John Mayer

Justin Bieber‘s mom travels everywhere with him and she recently canceled the baby-faced singer’s cellphone plan because they got in a fight! Which seems to be the only “dirt” anyone can dig up on the teen heartthrob. Let’s hope his mom’s guidance keeps him from turning into a future John Mayer, who is such an idiot that one website keeps track of “The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes.” Number one on the list: “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.” Why do girls still go out with this big-headed jerk?

Kim Kardashian vs Khloe Kardashian

Kim doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke and she recently helped raise over a million dollars for charity by posing in a coffin on Twitter. As the most famous Kardashian sister, she’s really cleaned up her act since the days of her sex tape and posing for Playboy. Khloe seems to be trying to distance herself from her sister by creating her own raunchy persona—just in the last week she talked about being “raped” by airport security and blabbed about Kourtney smearing mayonnaise on her va-jay-jay.

-Kim Geiske

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Chris

Posted at 10:11 PM on December 9, 2010  

Poor Taylor Swift! She looks so awkward, so uncomfortable in her own skin, so 1950s! She’s obviously so psychologically, emotionally and sexually repressed that she’s ready for a nervous breakdown at any minute. While our first Taylor looks like she wants to hide from the 21st century, our second Taylor–Taylor Momsen–looks like she’s embraced the new century and she’s ready for the wild ride it will provide. And finally, poor Bonnie Fuller: she so wishes she could remold our country into the likeness of Iran, where young girls are beaten in the streets for looking like Taylor Momsen!

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avrilfan

Posted at 4:28 PM on December 9, 2010  

i wouldnt mind sitting by the pool sipping margeritas with Jen

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msmelaniep

Posted at 10:00 PM on December 8, 2010  

Chelsea Handler has been making fun of Angelina Jolie way before she became friends with Jen so you just need to calm down!

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oh lordy

Posted at 4:34 AM on December 8, 2010  

you know somethings wrong with society when a woman with a s.e.x tape is called an angel and a woman beater is called nice.

way to go hollywoodlife!

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michele

Posted at 3:43 AM on December 8, 2010  

And Brad Pitts is a P.O.S, didn’t handle that situation with any kind of tact. You all reached on that Jennie Garth thing, neither is really on anyone’s radar right now.

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michele

Posted at 3:40 AM on December 8, 2010  

Kinda don’t understand this post but Angelina CANNOT be an angel because she broke up a relatioship not once, but twice ( Laura Dern and Billy Bob, remember)!! That’s a pattern.

Once can be forgiven but TWICE! She really doesn’t care about others because she doesn’t seem to be bothered by the way she gets her men, philathropist and ambassador my ass. Who cares if she has 6 kids? Ms Handler is being Ms. Handler, not my cup of tea but whateva!

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Allay

Posted at 8:08 PM on December 7, 2010  

Wow you really didn’t get the mayonnaise joke on Conan did you? They weren’t serious, I really didn’t think that needed to be repeated at this point.

Also Taylor Momsen may be a 17 year old mess right now, but her music and far and away better than Taylor Swift’s.

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Jack

Posted at 7:42 AM on December 8, 2010  

Trueee, Taylor momsen has crazy vocals.

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jazmin

Posted at 7:32 PM on December 7, 2010  

I agreed with every other name but not demi

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lal

Posted at 6:06 PM on December 7, 2010  

you guys are so funny, jennie garth had a career? really? what she done since 90210? nothing!she never was as beautiful and talented as Shannen, Shannen work in cult classic movies like Heathers and Mallrats, had her charmed and few reality show successful years, now she doing tv and dvd movies, and web series, and out with the book, she can’t promoted her book really well cuz she just lost her beloved father!
She never quite acting and she happy in love now, and get all it by herself, not cuz of her man!

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ally

Posted at 6:06 PM on December 7, 2010  

i was agreeing with you until i saw that you said Demi is a devil! really? you’re pathetic

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Jessica

Posted at 10:54 PM on December 14, 2010  

i agree with everything else but then i saw demi’s name on the devil side against her good friend selena. you can’t do that so yea Demi had one big meltdown big woop doesn’t mean shes a devil i mean seriously come on.

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rachael

Posted at 5:33 PM on December 7, 2010  

wow angelina is the angel? do you not remember she stole someones husband and had an affair? i think youve got htis one all wrong come on!

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L

Posted at 4:50 PM on December 10, 2010  

You can’t steal anyone— they have to want to go (married or not)

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Brittney

Posted at 5:13 PM on December 7, 2010  

Mel Gibson lost his part in Hangover 2, not Due date.

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