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Posted Tue, December 7, 2010 4:27pm EDT

Taylor Swift V. Taylor Momsen: Why Hollywood’s 8 Biggest Angels Triumph Over The 8 Biggest Devils!

Red-hot Taylor Swift wears knee-length, ’50s-style dresses and the raciest things she says are ‘Gosh’ and ‘Gee,’ while 17-yr-old Taylor Momsen, who flashes her boobs onstage and curses on morning TV, is barely seen on ‘Gossip Girl’ these days.

Are goody goodies triumphing over baddies in Hollywood? Just take a look at this evidence! Taylor Swift is hot, hot, hot right now! The girl-next-door singer is scoring magazine covers, dating a movie star- Jake Gyllenhaal –and selling out concerts in minutes flat. But the only thing hot about her namesake, Taylor Momsen, is that she’s a hot MESS with her smeared makeup and slutty get-ups! Even though the Gossip Girl star is on a top-rated show, her career isn’t generating heat – in fact she won’t even be seen on the next few episodes of the show – and she struggles to fill small dive bars when she performs.

Jennie Garth vs Shannen Doherty

Clean-cut and always-smiling Jennie Garth‘s career has flourished, she’s married to a Twilight star, has a beautiful family and she has several endorsement deals. Meanwhile, the always-abrasive Shannen‘s “Bad-Ass” book came out recently—did anyone even notice?

Sandra Bullock vs Jesse James

The scandal with her cheating husband has only seemed to cement Sandra‘s position as America’s Sweetheart, as she continues to be one of Hollywood’s most sought-after and highly-paid actresses. She’s devoted to Jesse’s kids (even though they’re now divorced) and now she’s a single mom to little baby Louis—HELLO? Can she get any sweeter? But the philandering Jesse’s career is OVER. His latest show was canceled by Spike TV, he can’t sell his house in Los Angeles and Entertainment Weekly called him “The Most Hated Man in America.” Oy, what a loser.

Mel Gibson vs Liam Neeson

He’s made anti-semetic rants and his ex-girlfriend says he beat her—do YOU have any interest in seeing Mel Gibson in The Beaver? Blech! No way, right? Liam Neeson, on the other hand has led a quiet family life and for years has sat on the board and raised funds for TWELVE charities, including UNICEF, Clothes Off Our Back and Make Poverty History. No wonder they fired Mel from The Hangover 2 and gave his part to Liam!

Angelina Jolie vs Chelsea Handler

Mega-movie star Angelina is a mother of SIX, but she still finds time to feed starving children and fight for world peace. On top of all that, now she’s directing her first feature film! And Angelina never speaks negatively about ANYONE in the press. Now Chelsea has gone after Angelina, calling her terrible names in an apparent bid to stick up for her bff, the jilted Jennifer Aniston. And what does Chelsea do with her spare time? She sits by the pool drinking margaritas and tanning in Cabo … with Jen!

Lauren Conrad vs Heidi Montag

On The Hills, Lauren Conrad always seemed focused on building a legitimate career in fashion and hanging out with her friends, while her ex-roommate, Heidi, always seemed to just be focused on HERSELF! Lauren went on to become one of Hollywood’ top earners, $5 million, in the last year—she’s writing books and designing clothes—while Heidi recently divulged that she’s broke and out of work. Coincidence? We think not.

Justin Bieber vs John Mayer

Justin Bieber‘s mom travels everywhere with him and she recently canceled the baby-faced singer’s cellphone plan because they got in a fight! Which seems to be the only “dirt” anyone can dig up on the teen heartthrob. Let’s hope his mom’s guidance keeps him from turning into a future John Mayer, who is such an idiot that one website keeps track of “The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes.” Number one on the list: “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.” Why do girls still go out with this big-headed jerk?

Kim Kardashian vs Khloe Kardashian

Kim doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke and she recently helped raise over a million dollars for charity by posing in a coffin on Twitter. As the most famous Kardashian sister, she’s really cleaned up her act since the days of her sex tape and posing for Playboy. Khloe seems to be trying to distance herself from her sister by creating her own raunchy persona—just in the last week she talked about being “raped” by airport security and blabbed about Kourtney smearing mayonnaise on her va-jay-jay.

Kim Geiske