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Posted Mon, April 18, 2011 12:01am EDT

'Mob Wives' Recap — Jailed Husbands, Fist Fights & Prison Phone Calls. 'Real Housewives' Beware!

Unlike the ‘Real Housewives’ who are wonderful at talking the talk, these terrifying women seem to follow through on their threats and promises of brawls — be very, very afraid!

With all due apologies to the walking dead and vampires, the scariest show on television has finally arrived and it features four very living, and very blunt, ladies. That’s right folks, Mob Wives has arrived and as it made clear right from the start, the ladies of the mob are to be just as feared as the men who run it.

First off we get to meet Renee Graziano, daughter of Anthony and formerly married to a mob member who is raising her son is Staten Island. She likes fur. Like, really likes fur. Also, eye shadow. She does not however like Karen Gravano, daughter of legendary mob informant Sammy “The Bull” Gravano. They used to be friends until Sammy cooperated with the feds and then Renee’s dad said she had to end her relationship with Karen. Sigh, oldest story in the book…

Karen lives in Phoenix but is moving back to Staten Island to work on writing a book. This seems like the stupidest idea every but hey, to each their own. I mean, if the Witness Protection Program relocated me, I would stay hidden. Then again, I would also try to avoid associations with an ecstasy ring like Karen did, leading to some problems with the police. These surely pale in comparison to her impending problems with Renee.

Drita D’avanzo seems like the most level-headed of the group (not saying much) and is the mother of twins. Drita’s hubby Lee robbed a bank and is now in jail, making her wonder if she should stick it out or take the twins and run. Her birthday party serves as the major drama for the episode when she invites both Renee and Karen. Zoinks!

You see, Karen gets back and reconnects with Carla Facciolo. Carla’s husband, and Karen’s ex, Joey is in jail for insider training. She tells her kids he’s at work. Carla is Alabanian and entirely muscle and decides Karen must come to Ditra’s birthday. Less one think Carla’s life is all glamour, she explains she frequently loses her nails when slugging girls in the face. Seriously.

The party is, of course, a delightful mess with Renee throwing barbs at Karen on the patio of a scenic Staten Island club while enjoying a Newport. The drama is of course riveting, but in the back of every viewer’s mind has to be how these mob fights sometimes get serious. Like, dead serious.

What did you think HollywoodLifers of these delightful premiere? Who is your favorite mob wife?


-Name Withheld For Protection