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Posted Tue, August 31, 2010 1:27pm EDT

Hurrah for Real Breasts!! Let’s Celebrate These Hollywood Women Who Are Happy With What God Gave Them In All Shapes And Sizes!!!

With so many women feeling inadequate in Hollywood these days and replacing their naturally beautiful bosoms with implants, we want to take a moment to celebrate the REAL ladies, who love their REAL breasts just as they are!

Even in Hollywood breasts come in all shapes and sizes. We love the ladies like Kim Kardashian, Jessica Simpson, Elizabeth Hurley, Cameron Diaz, Sofia Vergara, Eva Mendes and Christina Hendricks who haven’t felt the need to go under the knife and update what nature gave them. These women go to show that ladies can be gorgeous with natural breasts.

How do we know they’re natural? We asked the experts, who gave us some surefire ways to spot a fake across a room (or on a red carpet).

“Real breasts have a soft look in the upper pole with the absence of a round, stiff, or overly perky look. The unaugmented breast responds to gravity in a more natural manner, and hangs differently than one with implants. This accounts for the smooth slope to the upper pole of the natural breast without a shelf or step-off, or worse yet, the visible shell of an implant through the skin,” explains plastic surgeon Dr. Jennifer L. Walden. “Signs that point to if a boob job has been done include an overly-perky appearance that defies gravity.

Dr. Walden told us that Scarlett Johannsson, Eva Mendes, Sofia Vergara and Jessica Biel, are in her opinion, sporting what nature gave them.

Walden also thinks curvy Mad Men beauty Christina Hendricks is a natural breast beauty, but for some experts she has been the subject of breast confusion.

“In my opinion, she is one of the more challenging ones. At first glance in this photograph, it looks like she may have had breast a augmentation. However, if you look at her in other photographs, she just has large breasts” Dr. Adam Schaffner, Director of JUVA Plastic Surgery in Manhattan, told us. Dr. Schaffner says he sees a natural slope and hang to Hendricks’ breasts in other photos that indicates she is probably all real, just larger than the average woman. Ms. Hendricks’ may have been wearing undergarments that lifted her breasts and moved them closer together.

Dr. Schaffner also remarked on the naturalness of Latina beauties Sofia Vergara and Eva Mendes.

“I would be very surprised if Eva’s breasts were implants because of the proportions, the size relative to her frame, the slope of the breast and just the way it hangs on her body,” Dr. Schaffner said.

As for Sofia, he explained that her breasts appear to have the appropriate volume for her shape, figure and frame. We can think of millions of men who would agree.

Women who pay tons of money to have their breasts enlarged should beware. Being naturally busty isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be a burden. Just ask natural beauties Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton. The two big busted blondes commiserated over the pain of having large breasts over Twitter.

“Aahhh chiropractor… Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don’t hurt!,” Dolly tweeted.

“Amen sister :),” longtime fan and fellow rack-lugger Jessica responded on her Twitter account.

Plus Jessica has had to endure constant public scrutiny and embarassing moments like when her dad Joe Simpson told GQ magazine,

“She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

No wonder Jess wants to even things out and get a reduction. She recently said she wouldn’t mind borrowing some of the girth from her boobs and putting it in her white girl booty.

“I have a white girl booty. I don’t have a big butt. I’d rather have a happy medium and take some off my chest and put it towards my butt so I could balance out a bit.”

Jess and Dolly aren’t the only ones talking ta-tas on Twitter. Elizabeth Hurley tweeted the other day to speak out against rumors that she has had implants.

“happy to report still au naturel but I do wear exceptionally well cut bikini,” Hurley said.

We were always so proud of Kate Hudson, who seemed very happy with her A-cup breasts until earlier this year when she opted to get implants that boosted her boobs to a B. It was disappointing to say the least.

Hollywood can be a tough place and there’s a lot of fake already going around that town. Why not keep it real where you can?

–Jo Piazza

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