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Posted Sun, December 5, 2010 11:08pm EDT

'Desperate Housewives' Recap: Paul's Evil Plan Is Working — The Wives Prepare For War!

Paul’s buying up property like Mr. Monopoly, and on Dec. 2 he announced a halfway home is coming to Wisteria Lane!

Desperate Housewives is finally making use of its most underused character: While out for a pity dinner, a drunken René (Vanessa Williams) blabbed to Susan (Teri Hatcher) that she’s got her claws aimed at Tom Scavo (Doug Savant) — but even that little bombshell won’t result in the level of wife-of-wife violence that Paul Young’s (Mark Moses) is about to unleash.

I literally understand nothing about property, mortgages, etc. and even I can tell Paul Young is an absolute genius. If he acquires one more home on Wisteria Lane, he’ll have the majority vote and plans to open up a halfway home. And his timing couldn’t be better, as nearly everyone in the neighborhood has a solid reason to sell.

But the part of the episode that pleased me most this week was that Lynette (Felicity Huffman) finally acknowledged that she’s an “emasculating b***h.” Tom complained that she never brags about his enormous genitals — yeah, that’s apparently a fact — and it led to yet another fight between with his eternally-angry wife.

Keith (Brian Austin Green) tried to propose to Bree (Marcia Cross), but his deadbeat dad (John Schneider) crashed their party and messed everything up.

And Gaby’s (Eva Longoria) week wasn’t much better: Grace and her mom ran off to Texas to avoid Immigration, and now she may never seen her biological daughter again. (Maybe this will give her time to appreciate her own daughter, who also happens to be the best character on the show…)

What did you all think of this week’s episode of Desperate Housewives? And how psyched are you for next week’s riot?! It looks amazing… but not so much for Susan.

— Andy Swift