Posted Mon, May 24, 2010 6:46pm EDT

Bonnie Says: Why Beauties Get Cheated On Big Time!

Posted Mon, May 24, 2010 6:46pm EDT

Guess what girls — don’t be envious of the most beautiful women in the world

Look at Elin, look at Sandra Bullock, look at Halle, Britney, JLo, Reese, Julia Roberts, Jessica Simpson — they’ve ALL been cheated on!

It’s become irrevocably clear — beauty is no vaccination against having your man cheat. and it’s happened in every public area. Models — gorgeous supermodel Christie Brinkley cheated on by her architect husband Peter Cook. Politics — stunning Silda Spitzer cheated on by her husband Eliot Spitzer. Sports — head turner Cynthia Rodriguez cheated on by her Yankee star A-Rod, and then when it comes to the world of celebrity, the list goes on and on with Jesse James’ transgressions against his beautiful Oscar-winning wife Sandra, who thanked him in her acceptance speech, is just the latest jaw-dropper.

So why doesn’t beauty confer ANY protection against a cheating spouse, fiance or boyfriend?

The problem in this situation is you’re “the same beauty and guys are hard wired to like novelty,” explains Kate White, Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan. “If you look at what men want in nature, it’s to spread their seed around.”

There’s that old saying “show me a beautiful women and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of sleeping with her.”

“Beautiful women are prey to men who want to use their beauty to elevate their own status. Because of their beauty they’re used to being adored, and they are flattered by guys who go completely goo goo for them,” explains relationship expert, Dr. Gilda Carle, who has treated many celebrities.

The problem is that those guys often don’t see beyond their beauty and they don’t like it when they wake up one day and see a real person, who has a real problem one day, whether it’s a cold or emotional needs. This type of man looked for a woman to make up for his own ego deficiencies, and when he can’t get enough of that, he looks elsewhere.”

Beautiful women may doom themselves to becoming cheating victims because they themselves have want a “charismatic and attractive love mate.” They’re often attracted to “narcissistic men.” Think Tiger, Jesse, K-Fed for Britney, Tony Romo for Jessica Simpson. “These men are very charismatic. They know how to get women interested in themselves. but because they are so attractive and charismatic themselves, they have other women throwing themselves at them, especially in high profile worlds,” Rhonda Findling, psychologist and author or The Commitment Cure: What To do If You Fall For An Ambivalent Man.

Beauty certainly doesn’t make a man committed to you. In fact a man who’s excited to be with a stunning woman, because she’s stunning can get even more excited to be with another fresher beauty. Think Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt and you get the picture. In fact, Angelina should beware, according to Findling, because men who are swept away by beauty, aren’t committed to their relationships or families.

If you think beautiful women have it easier attracting men then yes — that may be true except that as these shrinks point out, they attract the wrong men for the wrong reasons.

And consider this — they may, like Elin, think their beauty is enough to change a player like Tiger into a devoted husband. “Beauty is not enough to keep a player in line,” stresses Maryanne Comaroto, a relationship coach and author of Hindsight: What You Need To Know Before You Drop Your Drawers. “If a man you’re dealing with has a track record of dating a series of beautiful women, he’s not likely to stick with your relationship.”

Neither is it likely that a man like Jesse James with a history of being a “sex junkie, is likely to transform into the committed husband that Sandra hoped for. “Jesse James is a promise-I’ll-never-do-it-again-guy,” says Comaroto.

So why did a beautiful woman of substance like Sandra fall head over heels for him?

She possibly was so earnest and good-hearted herself, she couldn’t even imagine that she could be “played.” “Jesse seduced her. He saw an opportunity, a meal ticket and she’d never been exposed to anyone like him before,” believes Comaroto.

Let’s hope she learned her lesson. How many beautiful women don’t — hey Halle, Jen and Kim Kardashian — you keep getting attracted to the same kind of gorgeous player guys that won’t make a true commitment.

So BFF’s out there — don’t hate them for being the most beautiful women in the world. Thank the Lord, you have beauty that the right man will appreciate.

–Bonnie Fuller

Leave a Reply

To comment, please fill in the fields below, enter your comment and select the Comment button.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

View Comment

Bill

Posted at 1:02 AM on June 9, 2010  

visit beautiful girls,sexy women,charmingng women pics. Enjoy!

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

MissDawn

Posted at 11:03 PM on May 30, 2010  

I really needed to hear this and so should my daughter. all our lives we thought no one would ever out do us and cheat on us!!!!! Then, it happened, and these girls were u g l y and it just goes to show….ya NEVER know…..settle down and like it! (To a real true man that will love you all the time no matter what!) I finally found mine…was with me all along.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

sasha

Posted at 9:06 PM on May 27, 2010  

While it is certainly interesting that these beautiful, seemingly nice women were all cheated on, it would be difficult to take these situations and try to give them any profound “takeaway” value for real life. Men cheat, women cheat. No one is too good or too pretty to be cheated on. But there is something that I don’t think we’re touching on. These women are celebrities. What are the odds that at least a few of these women are total narcissists? Narcissists who can’t spot the guy who will cheat because it doesn’t occur to them that anyone could be more desirable than they are. I like these ladies, but I don’t know them in real life. They could be real pieces of work. Fame goes to your head. Add a dash of beauty … might make for crazy cakes. Doesn’t excuse the men, but it might explain why the men move on. Just a thought …

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

em gee

Posted at 7:12 PM on May 26, 2010  

Why do people see sexism so easily when it’s the woman who’s being slighted, but never when it’s the man?

A man’s predilection to cheat is only equitable to his general interest in sex when compared to the woman; beyond that, the fact-assortment that supports articles such as the one above are achievable because the writer, again as above, examines only a MICROCOSM of facts – ignoring the MACRO facts that help to tell the whole story.

Female celebrities choose their male mates based on a stringent pecking order. Note the men listed above are an amalgamation of multi-millionaires (historical analog – merchant princes, nobility), sports heroes (historical analog – gladiators, elite knighthoods, alpha pack leaders), politicians (historical analog – kings, warlords, chieftains), and celebrities (historical analog – explorers, minstrels, travelers of renown; and oddly enough, clergy). They are, in short, not possessed of an average individual betwixt them all. They are chosen not only because they are viewed as the genetic creme-d’l’-creme disposed before these ‘beauties,’ but also because the same said ‘beauties’ seek to REPRESENT THEIR SUPERIORITY by choosing men who state to the world their singularly altitudinous (if self-assigned) value.

I put it to you that normal men, of which group I count myself as member despite a slightly above average vocabulary, would not show the same predilection in cheating, because I believe Bonnie is 100% wrong, and that the phenomenon is not, I postulate, the ‘hard-wiring of the male’ as has been so long the scapegoat in this argument – but rather, the ‘hard-wiring’ of their intersocial interplay on a conscious and sub-conscious level, the battling of their senses of self-worth and esteem – and I think further that it’s not fair to your audience to give them such a one-sided and placative breakdown of things, when a little thought and fairness, the type of which you’ve shown in non-gender-related writings on this site, would have kept things balanced and struck closer to the heart of the issue.

Thanks for allowing me to speak my mind on this.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

REALbarbwire7

Posted at 1:49 PM on May 26, 2010  

If there is cheating in a relationship, there is something wrong (for at least one) in the relationship. I’m a firm believer that, “if one thinks the relationship is wrong, then it’s wrong”. Because it takes two happy people to make it in the first place. Think of a breakup in those terms. Now everything is possible, and you can have whatever you want. It’s a tricky business, love.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

REALbarbwire7

Posted at 1:46 PM on May 26, 2010  

WHO does Bonnie Fuller think she is? LET Jesse re-adopt? He was unfaithful and lying all the while they were trying to adopt. And she finds out 2 months after they get their baby? I feel for Jesse, yes. And, it may not have occurred to you, but they may be doing this for Louis’s sake. She will adopt him, and the court will certainly approve. He claims they are certainly getting a divorce. BUT, perhaps when the adoption is finalized, they may find a way to reconcile. Then there will be no interference in adopting the child. All the media will have calmed down, and people will stop hating with such a vengence. Just a thought.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

sandra's fan

Posted at 12:47 AM on May 26, 2010  

perhaps you are missing something, someone who is attracted to beauty is not necessarily attracted to the person underneath the beauty. (for ease of reading, i will assume that the beautiful person is the woman). if all these men, and i would not hesitate to say, women also, married their spouses for their beauty (sex appeal or trophy status) only. at some point the beauty will become common place or lessen, after all, most of us become less attractive as we age. at that point, unless the underlying person is also beautiful to her husband, there is no reason to stay. so really, you are talking about the people who marry the beautiful women, not the women — the women people might actually marry for something else that remains. unfortunately, the women misjudged the character of the person they married.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

guest

Posted at 7:34 PM on May 25, 2010  

Hmmm…re: Britney, JLo, Julia Roberts and Jessica Simpson – they were the cheaters, not their significant others!

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

mimi

Posted at 12:02 PM on May 25, 2010  

The only thing I can say….:” Injoy it while it last”, when it becomes boring or duty, = romance is gone, thats when it becomes “dangerous”…..and people cheats etc. etc., then it is time to move on…..unfortunately!

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Alara

Posted at 11:18 AM on May 25, 2010  

This is a great question. I think both men and women cheat, and not only because one is controlling when/how they have sex….but because in the first place, they’re attracted to each other because of lust and/or looks….behind all that, there are real people with real issues, and unless a person really loves their partner, issues and all, no beauty will stop them from cheating, there is beauty everywhere. I think we should all go on our first dates looking plain and frumpy ( LOL ) or at least, like our normal selves. Let our potential partners see the real us, without all the smoke screens. Then we can see them as well. Sex and lust does not a marriage make. Men and women both will have to understand themselves, that they’re looking for their partner to make things right within them, yet all the while something is missing – that a whole string of conquests will never make right.
Sure, I myself have been caught up in the beauty game, thought I needed to be “all that” but it will never keep a man. And another thing, it’s the people who are good looking, who are popular, who are usually the cheaters. Because we’ve lived behind a mirror all our lives, and if the mirror says we’re ok, then we should be ok – NOT. And obgyn, there are alot of men who become frigid – it’s an epidemic – so we can’t really rely on sex alone to get us through tough times. Hollywood and the media would have us believe it’s all sunshine if you’re gorgeous. I say, at least plain looking people don’t have to put on the show. And women who dress like sluts end up being treated like sluts, disposable….we should maybe all reign ourselves in a little, instead of putting all our effort into looking good, and decide what reality is…

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Bill Schaefer

Posted at 11:14 AM on May 25, 2010  

Bonnie,
A bit one-sided don’t you think.
Let’s have balance and assess all the women that have cheated on their husbands.

And why? Yes we are attracted to the beautiful men and women and want a relationship. That’s a law of nature.

But, bottom line, there must be substance to the relationship. You must have compatibility. That is to say compatible with the physical, the sexual, the spiritual, the political, the humourous, friend, likes, dislikes and above all, both sides must have giving tendencies.

If one is a taker all bets are off. If you have a giver and and taker, maybe it will survive and maybe it won’t. But two givers, that’s a marriage made in heaven if they aren’t to obsessive about giving too much outside the relationship.

Beautiful women get lots of attention. They eventually expect it as to handsome men. Therefore each beautiful person must go beyond the “skin deep” aspect and reach down for a deeper relationship.
Thanks for the great article. It caught my eye.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

obgyn

Posted at 9:48 AM on May 25, 2010  

Don’t just blame the man, the woman is part responsible too.
A lot of these women get the man then become frigid.
Requesting the man sleep in a seperate bedroom and can only have sex when she wants it. No marriage will work like that.
I’m not saying that is the case in all of these marriages but I know one that is. Not Sandra!
The men are wrong when they cheat instead of leaving and getting a divorce. No man or woman should stay in a marriage where one spouse wants to be locked away in their bedroom until they call you in like a puppy dog and want you to leave once you’ve done your business.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

doug

Posted at 9:38 AM on May 25, 2010  

its cause they only go out with dick heads

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

H2IK

Posted at 8:38 AM on May 25, 2010  

Think about it from the man’s perspective. Most of these women are sold for public consumption as objects for other men’s fantasies… just look at the pics YOU posted.

The media has reduced these women to objects. The women have used their beauty as leverage for a career as men’s sexual fantasies. In a sense, she has been unfaithful to the man.

It has been long believed that when a man reduces a woman to an object, then all sorts of bad things happen (abuse, rape, etc…). Since it is no longer considered “bad” or “shameful” for a person to have multiple partners (serial or concurrent), then the logical step is that a woman/man is just and interchangeable piece (pun intended) of a man’s life. Thanks to feminists, it works the other way around too.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

jojo

Posted at 4:21 PM on May 30, 2010  

I agreed wholeheartedly with your post, up until your last line. I highly recommend the book, “Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!”), by Carol Platt Liebau, namely chapter 9: “Do-Me Feminists and Doom-me Feminism”.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Anyainthecity

Posted at 12:56 AM on May 25, 2010  

Jen Aniston is not a beautiful woman, just an attractive woman with lots of money and time who makes her looks her priority as she needs it for her career. Brad Pitt wanted more than beauty, he wanted a family with children and real substance in his life, and he has now been with Angelina and their kids longer than he was married to Aniston. Superficial beauty is on the outside and fleeting, real beauty is what is inside a person and that is lasting. This article is full of bunk.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

LanaHere

Posted at 10:57 AM on May 25, 2010  

I totally agree. What about Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley? Billy Joel never cheated Christy. There are many more married and unmarried couples who stayed together for years, and when they break up, it’s because they out grew each others and not because the man was a cheater.
Bonnie, I’m worrying about you. Did you rush this article out at the last minute to make the deadline, or this is all your mind can come up with?

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

domoarigatonyc

Posted at 10:36 PM on May 24, 2010  

Is there anything that will keep a man faithful? I thought that maybe beauty and upkeep was the key but I can see from this article that it’s not the case.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Dan Gerous

Posted at 8:57 AM on May 25, 2010  

A man will be faithful when he loves a woman. Many men commit to a woman yet do not really love her. Many men do not know what love is, but use the word to score sex with atractive women.
If it works, why change?

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Al

Posted at 8:09 PM on May 26, 2010  

I don’t think even love itself is enough. A man (or woman) will be faithful only when they choose to prioritize it. I think some people can truly love someone, but put their own desires first anyway. We live in a society that places a pretty high value on personal pleasure.

I’m not the least bit surprised that Hollywood has such a high rate of cheating. We all have the drive for something new and different. Our entire culture seems to suffer from some form of ADD. Imagine being rich, famous and beautiful. Then imagine being constantly thrown into situations where you are meeting the hottest and most interesting people in the world every day. Really, it would be difficult NOT to get greedy. Falling in love is awesome. Being in a long term relationship is serious work, and it often hurts like hell.

If you take away the logistical things that keep many people in unsatisfying relationships (financial security, fear of being alone, the bother of looking elsewhere) there’s a lot less to lose by moving on. These people have no financial worries. They have nannies to watch their children. Since they have people lining up to date them opportunities to find a new love abound. I’m more curious as to why any of them would bother getting married in the first place.

 
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

jojo

Posted at 4:10 PM on May 30, 2010  

To Al – excellent post. You have great insight!

 
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,276 other followers