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Posted Mon, May 23, 2011 1:30pm EDT

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mistress Gigi Goyette Jeffers Now Claims She Was Never His 'Mistress.' What?

Gigi, the wonderfully spoken homewrecker who willingly gave interviews to both magazines and television programs, is now claiming she was not a mistress to Arnold. Isn’t she lovely?!

Gigi Goyette Jeffers may be do many things well, such as: sell stories about Arnold Schwarzenegger following her affair with the actor, mock his entirely selfless and lovely wife Maria Shriver in said stories and ride horses to lunch. One thing she does not seem to do so well is have a solid grasp on the English language as she is now claiming she was never “Arnold’s mistress.” Do you own a dictionary Gigi?

That was a joke, Gigi definitely does not own a dictionary. Gigi, who has discovered the joys of Twitter, tweeted on May 20: “Fyi.. I am not nor ever was Arnolds Mistress.. One word ‘Sensationalisim [sic].'” Sensationalism Gigi? We have really got to get this girl a dictionary. Now.

If you simply google the words “mistress” and “definition,” give it a go Gigi, you basically get this across the board: “A woman who has a continuing sexual relationship with a usually married man who is not her husband.” So, Gigi, by giving repeated interviews about your almost 20 year sexual relationship with Arnold, be it “outer-” or intercourse, you are indeed his mistress. Sorry.

Another fun fact for you Gigi, a mistress is also: “A woman who owns or keeps an animal.” Looks like all those horses of yours ALSO make you a mistress.

Now, Gigi could also be speaking in some type of empowered speak, as if she was never Arnold’s and she called the shots. That is a hard argument to make however when, after riding your horse to lunch, you go home and sleep with a man whose first line is: “You have an amazing a**.”

Regardless, it is striking how Maria and Gigi seem to have such stunningly comparable mental capabilities. I mean, Gigi is for sure in line for her own show on the Oprah Winfrey Network as well. I mean, I’d watch for the equestrian themed episodes alone.

So HollywoodLifers, do you own a dictionary?
STRONG TEXT HERE

  1. ARNOLD’S MISTRESS TALKS ABOUT THEIR ‘WEIRD AND STRANGE’ SEX. GROSS.
  2. ARNOLD HAD SEX WITH MISTRESS WHILE MARIA WAS DOWN THE HALL!
  3. IS THIS ARNOLD’S SECOND LOVE CHILD?


-Chris Spargo