When footage of Tristan Thompson, 28, smooching on two women was leaked to the press days before his then-girlfriend Khloe Kardashian gave birth to their baby True in April 2018, fans were stunned. Surely Koko would end their relationship? Instead, Khloe, 34, took him back, only to be left heartbroken nearly a year later when he was accused of cheating on her with Jordyn Woods, her sister Kylie Jenner’s BFF. The February 2019 incident was the straw that broke the camel’s back and Khloe ended her romance with Tristan.
But, the NBA player wasn’t the first person to cheat on her. Khloe’s ex-husband Lamar Odom, 39, has admitted to having affairs during their seven-year marriage. After the Tristan/Jordyn scandal fans and trolls alike slammed Khloe, suggesting that she’s attracting the wrong type of man. “You need to go on The Bachelorette! You need supervision before you pick your next BF,” actor Michael Rapaport, 49, tweeted on March 1. But, is it Khloe’s fault? Do some people settle for less than they deserve in relationships? And, if so, how can they break that cycle?
HollywoodLife reached out to Match dating expert Rachel DeAlto for answers. “I don’t think it’s ever fair to blame,” the 39-year-old who has shared advice on Married At First Sight, tells us. “In those situations, it is very difficult when you have a child with someone to not try and give them the benefit of the doubt.” But, if the person messes up again – or you keep finding yourself with Mr. Wrong – DeAlto gave us these handy five tips to start attracting the right man:
1. Know Your Worth. “The first thing you have to do is understand that you are worthy of love,” DeAlto tells us. “Whatever your past was, whatever your family origin is, it doesn’t define who you are and what you’re worthy of having. If someone is confident [enough] to know that they deserve respect, they’re not settling for less than someone who gives them that respect.”
2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags. “Keep your eyes wide open,” DeAlto says. “They could be small things that lead up to big things, like not calling you back when they say they are going to, not showing up for you, not supporting you. These are all signs of a lack of respect.”
3. Make Sure Your Boundaries Are Intact. If your man keeps on disrespecting you, draw a line and make it known that that behavior is unacceptable. “Because there’s always an excuse,” DeAlto says. “There’s always going to be some sort of rationalization. Some of them are legitimate. I understand everybody has responsibilities and a variety of priorities and the like – especially if they have children, they’re going to be at the top. But you need to be a priority [too].”
4. Don’t Settle For Less Than Being A Priority. DeAlto explains what being a priority doesn’t look like. “If they’re coming to you at the last minute to hang out. If they’re always picking other people over you…” she says. “I think half the time we don’t communicate what we need and some of this stuff is very innate in any sort of healthy relationship.” So, speak up, the expert recommends. “Hey, listen. It is important to me that I’m important to you,” DeAlto suggests is a good phrase to use.
5. Be Willing To Walk Away. If, after all this, your man keeps messing up, be prepared to end the relationship. “I think this is a huge one for people,” DeAlto says. “We think we will be sadder alone than we will in an unhealthy relationship, or one that doesn’t make us feel worthy. But, we are 100 percent happier when we are by ourselves as opposed to someone bringing you down. At least you have control of your own energy when you are by yourself. When you are in a relationship that’s making you feel that you are not worthy, all you’re doing is reaffirming that.”
As for Khloe, what advice does DeAlto have for the reality TV star and businesswoman? Should she even contemplate taking him back? “I think he’s shown who he is twice,” the mom-of-two says. “And, again, unless his actions really reinforce his words, there really isn’t hope there.”