From the start of “Bad To Myself,” it’s clear that something is wrong with Greyson Chance. In the new visual, the singer-songwriter/LBGTQIA activist is on the verge of exhaustion, but sadly, that’s not all. He’s drinking too much, eating too little, and pushing himself further and further towards a nervous breakdown. “Oh, I’m throwing my tears to the fire / Lately, I’m so damn tired / Of being bad to myself,” he sings in what is her most personal, revealing song yet.
At the heart of this song is a startling revelation from Greyson: he struggles with anorexia. “Bad To Myself,” as he said in a statement, represents “a promise to myself that I would do better and work on becoming healthier.” Written along with Teddy Geiger in 2019, in the middle of a grinding schedule, Greyson realized he needed to make his health – both physical and mental – a priority. He also knew that he couldn’t keep this story to himself. While speaking EXCLUSIVELY with HollywoodLife over email, Greyson shared the motivation why he went public with his eating disorder, how the song has taken on new meaning in the wake of 2020, and the last thing he did that left him smiling for an entire night.
HollywoodLife: “Bad To Myself” sees you opening up to your fans about your ongoing struggle with anorexia. Seeing public and famous figures overcome adversity is inspirational, but the downside is that this personal experience is now a little less personal. Was there a moment that you thought against going public with this, just to maintain a sort of ‘ownership’ over this?
Greyson: It took me two years of private struggle and recovery to feel confident enough to speak on it. I shared my story in a hope to make a crack within the social stigma surrounding eating disorders in our culture. I also wanted anyone struggling with an eating disorder to know that they are not alone and that they can make it through, for I did. Once I was able to understand that my story was bigger than me, I knew I had to find the strength to share it.
“Bad To Myself” is all about self-care and promoting the idea that fans should take care of their own mental and physical health. It’s a message that comes at a time when there’s a lot more anxiety and depression going on. Have you found that the events of 2020 – specifically, the isolation from quarantine – has created an unexpected layer to this song?
It absolutely has. With quarantine comes much time spent by yourself; it’s in the quiet and isolated moments where I find some of my worst habits peeking through. Through the pandemic, I have been listening to this song as a process of reminding myself of my own strength. I hope it influences its listeners to do the same.
Since “Bad To Myself” is meant to encourage others to stop mistreating themselves, what was the last “good thing” that you did for you?
I made myself homemade pasta last night from an old family recipe, and I was smiling the entire night.
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“Bad To Myself” is out now.