Kelly Ripa went in for her annual mammogram and of course her experience ended up as a hilarious story on Live with Kelly and Ryan on Sept. 24. The 48-year-old told her co-host Ryan Seacrest, “You don’t know the fun of a mammogram until you’ve gone with me. Because, you know, what really are they going to put in that vice?” The she recounted how she was already running late and just wanted to get the whole thing done and over with.
“I’m supposed to be at a book party. I was supposed to be home. I had dinner to cook I realized I was running behind schedule and I’m sideways now,” she explained before telling Ryan “I should actually force you as some sort of punishment to come. One day when you do something bad, I’m going to make you come to my mammogram.”
Kelly continued, “So I’m sideways for one of the images and I realize that I have to text (husband) Mark (Consuelos) and tell him can you please take the clams out of the fridge and put them in a bag of ice water. I was making linguini and clams. The boys asked for that. And Mark is home so infrequently that I try to do wife things and be nice when he’s there,” she joked. “I try to, like, fool him.”
Kelly then went about trying to show Ryan how the mammogram process clamps down on the breast and did it to him with her hands. “They would have an easier time with you than with me,” she noted. “Trust me. They’ve got more to work with here than with what I have.” She then lamented, “It’s one of those things that I go, ‘Uh, there’s gotta be a different way to figure this process out, right?’ Ladies, right? At a certain point, don’t you go, ‘This can’t be good for me.’”
Then Kelly recalled her discussion with the technician. “I go, ‘I don’t know what you’re going to put in there’ and she’s like, ‘Don’t worry about it,’” the host explained. “She literally looks at me, like, ‘I’ll take skin from your neck and your back if I have to.’ There’s not so much for them to work with, so literally, my face is smashed in the glass…And then she goes, ‘And hold your breath. And breathe.…And hold your breath again,” as Kelly pressed her face against the set’s table to show how it went for her. She ended her story asking loudly”‘Why am I a woman?”