You may know Elan Gale by his wild long hair & BTS ‘Bachelor’ photos. Now, you’ll also recognize him for his scathing sense of humor, brought to light in his new book!
Elan Gale has been a fixture behind the camera in Bachelor Nation since 2009, working on a group of shows that surround contestants finding true love while it’s documented on national television. You’d think that anyone who would work on a show of that nature would be a gushy, true love-believer, with the hope that everyone has a soulmate somewhere out there. Well, you’ll quickly be proven wrong within just a few minutes of speaking to Elan, whose new book You’re Not That Great (but Neither is Anyone Else) teaches readers to take all of their negativity, longing for revenge and self-loathing and use it to ultimately improve their lives and find success. As he so beautifully puts it, “Positive thinking is for assholes. Negative thinking is for winners.”
Speaking to HollywoodLife.com exclusively, Elan explained why he decided to put out a book in the self-help genre, that at first appears to be incredibly negative and self-loathing. “I really connect with people and I feel like I start a lot of good conversations, but I’ve been really mad at this self-help industry, and the inspirational quote thing, since I can remember. Every time you scroll through Instagram just like, ‘Everything happens for a reason. You’re going where you’re meant to be.’ It’s really so infuriating because if you see something enough times, you might eventually think it’s true.” In the book, Elan, with the help of his friends including Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and comic Iliza Shlesinger, goes through stories of failure, which ultimately lead to triumph and success. However, if you are in the same mindset as Elan, you know that even after becoming successful, you’re still not that great. Sorry ’bout that.
Don’t worry if you happen to a happy-go-lucky, always-smiling ray of sunshine with a positive outlook on the world — you can still enjoy this book, explained Elan. “This can be applied to not just people like me, but to more normal, happy people who have nice lives, and who feel good about themselves. I think my girlfriend has a really healthy self-esteem. She’s not self-loathing in the way that I am, but I think she still finds value in the thought processes that come from it. It’s nothing more than understanding other people.” Even more, Elan shared that he and his girlfriend, Molly Quinn, who you will recognized from the TV series Castle, grew and learned more about each other through the book. “I don’t sit around and talk to my girlfriend ad nauseam about my mother’s cancer, and I don’t sit talking ad nauseam about my alcoholism. Of course, she knows about it, but I don’t regale her with stories from that time. So I think it gave her a deeper understanding of me,” he shared.
Elan is no stranger to love, but also admits that he doesn’t agree with the whole mantra of “loving yourself before being able to love anyone else.” “I think that all people only really exist in relation to other people, and that the purpose of being alive and being a person is in interacting with the world around you. The hardest thing in relationships is really trying to understand the other person, because when you have an emotional investment in someone, and you care about them, and you love them — you don’t want them to think poorly of you, but you also want to be fully understood, including your worst attributes, which we all have.”
HollywoodLifers, you can buy You’re Not That Great (but Neither is Anyone Else), through this link, and make sure to watch The Bachelor on Mondays at 8 PM ET on ABC!