No, your eyes are not deceiving you — that headline really does say that I’ve managed to go 32 years of my life without ever having to commit to anyone. And guess what? I’m totally cool with it.
Almost all of my friends are married or in serious relationships. Some of them have been in the same relationship since we were teenagers, which was a lifetime ago depending on who is reading this. But the cold, hard truth about me, Lauren Cox, is that I have never been in a serious relationship. I’ve lived 32 years (going on 33, ugh) without having to commit to anything (unless, of course, you count pizza and iced coffee). Quite frankly, I’m not quite sure how I’ve managed to pull this off. I’ve had my fair share of romantic connections, lingering “exes” that I’ll clarify on more later, and sporadic hook ups. But an actual real life, hand holding, spooning in bed, meet the parents type of relationship? Nah, I’m good.
So, here’s the thing: obviously I’ve dated. I dated more as a teenager than I have as an adult, but still. Throughout my four years of high school I managed to date six guys. Seven if you count my first kiss, but even after spending an entire summer together we never made things official so he might just be the Danny Zuko to my Sandy Olsson that got away. Of those six (or seven) guys, only two of them could be considered actual relationships. One I dated on-and-off for my sophomore and junior years, and those years were filled with lots and lots of drama — mostly because I was a raging drama queen at that age. The other I dated on-and-off for three years of high school (your calculations are correct, I overlapped — sorry not sorry), and sadly continued to let him in and out of my life for the following fifteen years. It took me eighteen years to realize that the first boy I ever said “I love you” to was a garbage human being who was using me as his emotional doormat when he needed attention. And no, I don’t consider any part of that tumultuous and emotionally damaging experience to be an “adult relationship”. Though, to be fair, it’s probably one of the biggest reasons why I’ve never actually been in one.
Where does that leave me? Well, it leaves me 32 years old with zero healthy relationship experience. I know what you’re asking: do I want to be in a relationship? The answer to that is, again quite frankly, that I don’t know. I’m a very independent person, and I’m also a bit of an introvert, and I’ve also been severely broken by above mentioned garbage human. I think I have my own self repairing to do, if only to spare the next person who decides to try and share a life with me. However I do realize that my biological clock is ticking, and if I actually want to do something like have my own kid I should probably start swiping right more often on Bumble. For now I’m just going to keep doing (aka fixing) me and figure out all of the technical stuff later.
Tell us, HollywoodLifers — What do YOU think about the fact that I’ve never been in a serious relationship? Comment below, let me know!